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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    ...I was always on the fringes of the popular girls and I realize now that they were mostly feelers. I felt like a square peg. I didn't have Tiger Beat posters all over my wall, nor did I scream when Shaun Cassidy came on TV, I wasn't into all of that. I secretly read encyclopedias and how-to books. As an adult, I have lousey sympathy skills, though I'm trying to make an effort in this area. I am embarrassed that when someone has a death in the family, I never know what to say other than 'I'm sorry' and I only sign my name on the bottom of the card and call to offer to make a casserole. I never have the right words to make someone feel better. Though sometimes depending on the situation I will offer lots of practical advice. When my friend was going through infertility, I offered to help her find the clinic with the highest IVF success rate. That was all I could do.

    I'm fairly confident and am quite happy about myself, still I can tell that I'm 'different.'
    I can relate strongly to all but the struck-through sections. I don't think this is exclusively T/F related.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  2. #12
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    I am ever tickled when people claim to like T women when they have "matured" and are not so ... well ... T.
    Thanks a lot.

    I too, am lousy at feeley sympathizing, or more importantly, the expression of sympathetic feelings in emotionally demanding situations and just daily life. I figure I put up with the social stroking when I really do not care for it, and at the very least should be able to expect similar accommodations in the way of personal preferences.

    I couldn't say I have wished to be something else. Some people actually dig the difference. Soothing coos are nice, but strictly pragmatic advice is useful too. More importantly, I like myself as is. Instead of battering yourself to fit, surround yourself if you can with people who appreciate what you bring to the table and forgive you for what you don't.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  3. #13
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    I'm happy being T, but sometimes I feel like an inadequate nurturer because of it, and I feel like some guys are not as interested in me because I'm not the sort of woman who just constantly gives out strokes to make others feel good.
    This just about sums it up for me. I always wonder about all the ESTJs and ENTJs who are top executives and CEOs, how did they learn to smooze and give out these strokes? It's definately part of the job for most of them. Like anything else, I guess it can be learned.

    I have been accused of being 'cold' and that does bother me, because it's simply not true. On the inside I feel just as strongly as anyone else, though I might need a little more time to process my feelings and rationalize them.

  4. #14
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I think you may be called cold simply because people expect women to be different from you. They probably didn't know what was in store for them.

    As for the ESTJs and ENTJs they probably had to work hard to make people notice that they were competent, the state of gender bias is sad in the world.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #15
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I hear the phrase "normal girls" a lot from my F female friends, as in:

    "I know you don't get emotionally attached, but us normal girls..."
    "I'm not as strong as you. I'm crying about it because I'm a normal girl"

    It drives me insane.

    Men love to talk to me and think I'm sexy, especially because I also work in a technical field, but most are scared to take it any further relationship-wise. They don't get me. I don't really care, and I would never fake the funk and pretend to be something I'm not. Or pretend to feel something I don't.

    I'm very happy being a T and I pity girls who cry at work over some imagined slight.

  6. #16
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    I think the basic error here is that people make an assumption that T's don't "feel". Same as F's don't "think". It's more about the external visibility of the process, of the functional strengths or preferences.

    As an F in a technical environment, I have to express my knowledge fluently in order to be taken seriously. I use more energy to do so, with Te being my tertiary function. But I can do so and am successful in my field.

    So, as a "T" I would expect you use more energy connecting emotionally to the outside world. It doesn't mean it can't be done. Just needs to be cultivated, no? Because I know I can "think" and you (T's) know that you "feel".

    As an aside, this is one of my huge pet peeves with MBTI - the tendency toward black&white-style thinking about what are simply preferences.

  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I'd rather have a T women snuggle-fest like in Jeffsters similar thread instead of a discussion.

  8. #18
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    I think the basic error here is that people make an assumption that T's don't "feel". Same as F's don't "think". It's more about the external visibility of the process, of the functional strengths or preferences.
    I can't speak for anyone else here, but of course I agree with you. I also use Intuition on a daily basis

    It doesn't mean it can't be done. Just needs to be cultivated, no?
    Exactly - some of us are just more successful than others in cultivating the external expression of our our opposite funtion.

  9. #19
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F?
    Sometimes, only to better understand what the hell some individuals are saying to me. It really annoys me that many people make no sense whatsoever. Yet, I'm really better off as a T.

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills?
    Yes

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing? What about romance?
    Not a parent. Most likely never will be, due to my temperament and enjoyment of a low maintenance lifestyle. Romance... I'm terrible with physical or verbal affirmation. Nonetheless, I'm wicked clever at planning romantic activities that appeal to my partner. As long as she doesn't press me to tell her my feelings or talk about the obviously mushy displays, I'm golden. Silent understanding, is best.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Men love to talk to me and think I'm sexy, especially because I also work in a technical field, but most are scared to take it any further relationship-wise. They don't get me. I don't really care, and I would never fake the funk and pretend to be something I'm not. Or pretend to feel something I don't.

    I'm very happy being a T and I pity girls who cry at work over some imagined slight.
    +1.
    Like being a T, just wish others could be more like me.
    Definitely an asset in my field.

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    I have been accused of being 'cold' and that does bother me, because it's simply not true. On the inside I feel just as strongly as anyone else, though I might need a little more time to process my feelings and rationalize them.
    Yep. Same here.

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    As an aside, this is one of my huge pet peeves with MBTI - the tendency toward black&white-style thinking about what are simply preferences.
    I quite like that bit....but then I would, wouldn't I?

    Would rather be thought of as a woman with an atypical 'T' brain, than a freaky female with a 'male' brain, so MBTI is positive for me.

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