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  1. #1
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Default Help me type my ex please

    What I am asking you to do, is probably going to make me highly biased towards a certain type, to the point of avoiding them the moment I realise what type they are, but I need understanding within me, I need to feel safe, and knowing exactly what to avoid would help alot.

    So I need help with two functions that I just can't pin down. S/N and J/P, the rest is definately IxTx.

    Would anyone be prepared to help me pin down the last two?

    I had him as an ISTJ, only because another ISTJ member (Sona) reminds me of him so much, except a difference in a certain form of intelligence.

    What questions can I ask myself from my memories, that can help me fill in the last pieces of this puzzle?
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    I just need to pop out for a few hours, but when I come back this evening I hope there will be some suggestions.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  3. #3
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    P v J. Did he like to work (J)or play first(P), if there was a choice. Did he turn up to things early, on time or late(P). How did he react if you sprang a surprise event eg lets go for a trip this afternoon - great = P, cautious = J. How was he on accepting that something was right/correct. Easy and/or good closure = J. Uncertain, open ended = P.
    Most of those questions should be readily identifiable by reference to your relationship.
    I actually think the two you have least certain are usually the easiest. E/I and T/F are often the hardest to type...
    -Geoff

  4. #4
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    The MBTI prayers might be helpful:

    ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 11:41.23 a.m. EST.

    ISTP: Lord, help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.

    INTJ: Lord, keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.

    INTP: Lord, help me be less independent, just let me do it my way.
    At least if he is S. I've seen more than one ISTX typed using these.

    (The look on one anti-MBTI ISFJ girl's face when she heard her most common gripe about her boyfriend regurgitated as the ISTP prayer was priceless. )

  5. #5
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    P v J. Did he like to work (J)or play first(P), if there was a choice.
    No, he was very lazy and could put off doing things for ages in order to go play, however he was very insistant that I do the things he was putting off for him before such and such time or else, because he demanded things be done on time to his liking, he just was too lazy to do it himself.

    Things like cleaning he expected done within the first few hours of the day or he would go ballistic because he was a neat freak.....so it was I who had to work first, and he who got to play.

    Did he turn up to things early, on time or late(P).
    Depended, for me and the kids, family and friends always late, for appointments, early. (I am always early too, I hate lateness)

    How did he react if you sprang a surprise event eg lets go for a trip this afternoon - great = P, cautious = J.
    He wouldn't have been great about it, he didn't like things that threw his day off of his own personal plans. Which is the same here, I don't really like suprises, but then that could be the going out example you gave, I don't like suggestions to go out, neither of us liked the other organising things on the others behalf. I can be spontaneous, he can be spontaneous, but we equally didn't like spontanaity from others.

    How was he on accepting that something was right/correct. Easy and/or good closure = J. Uncertain, open ended = P.
    He was always right, didn't matter how much I proved he was wrong, he was always right, or he would twist his original words to make it sound like I was always wrong.

    An example, I am half English, I don't look half English for a Moroccan girl, I look like a full on Berber. I have an English mother, she came to visit (my 4th contact with her), he took us both out for a meal, sat and spoke with us both. Within 2 days of stewing it over in his head he accused me of hiring a white woman to pretend to be my mother, that he knew that I was a full Moroccan who was too ashamed of her roots to admit it. (I have no idea where his intense paranoia came from)

    I pulled out my birth certificate to prove his preposterous claim (you would laugh if I told you the rest of his acusations), he refused to look, he refused to accept it as evidence, he maintained that he was right no matter what.

    Most of those questions should be readily identifiable by reference to your relationship.
    I actually think the two you have least certain are usually the easiest. E/I and T/F are often the hardest to type...
    -Geoff
    I am convinced he was an introvert, he was always quiet, he didn't like having friends, and only had one very close one, and a few aquaintances, but even then he shunned all company. I feel 99% sure that he was an introvert, I was way more extraverted than he was when we met. (infact I am beggining to wonder if I am just Introverted because it was forced on me so much)

    I believe he was a T type as he had no empathy for the suffering of others, he sometimes found it amusing, he had no compassion for anyone, he seemed to have no feelings whatsoever, he didn't even grieve well. He tortured animals as a child.
    His hobbies involved engines, techonology, science, his best subject was maths. Doesn't that sound T to you?
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Just curious, since you have been on the inside, Sahara:

    Does the Muslim institution/culture push males towards a certain collection of type traits?

    A case in point: The International Church of Christ (ICC) was considered cultish in many ways here in the states.

    One problem was that everyone who joined showed an uncomfortable tendency to exhibit ESFJ behavior... which just happened to be the MBTI type of its founder. ESFJ traits were revered, the opposing traits were punished or decried. This weeded out those who refused to change, and it changed those who refused to leave, leaving "natural type" tainted to some degree.

    Does the Muslim faith bring out certain functions at the expense of others for men (and, I suppose, for women as well)?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    The MBTI prayers might be helpful:

    ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 11:41.23 a.m. EST.

    ISTP: Lord, help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.

    INTJ: Lord, keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.
    At least if he is S. I've seen more than one ISTX typed using these.

    (The look on one anti-MBTI ISFJ girl's face when she heard her most common gripe about her boyfriend regurgitated as the ISTP prayer was priceless. )
    All those 3 prayers sound like they could fit him. The last one not at all.


    The only reason I begin to wonder about him possibly being an N type, is because of the long theological debates we would have, he was constantly wondering about those things, and so was I. Which I thought was the province of N? (I could be so wrong)

    The only difference was he was able to take his answers from a book, or an imam, I couldn't see my answers getting closure, I was always looking further, you give me an answer and the answer becomes my next question.

    You gave him an answer, and showed him where it existed within the text, and the question was satisfied within him.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  8. #8
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    You gave him an answer, and showed him where it existed within the text, and the question was satisfied within him.
    High probability of him being an ISTJ, from what I have heard. This supports it fairly heavily.

    Also, knowing his history, it is highly probable that he is an -ST- with high neuroticism, as he correlates to quite a few of the related behaviours associated with that combination. So I'd type him as an ISTJ, but unlike the more stable duty-bound variety, he is a more neurotic/emotionally reactive type, one who would lash out easily. If so, you'd be looking for earmarks like justification from authority, blaming the other person for his acts, high emotional content to certain authorities... all things that you have expressed before.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Just curious, since you have been on the inside, Sahara:

    Does the Muslim institution/culture push males towards a certain collection of type traits?

    A case in point: The International Church of Christ (ICC) was considered cultish in many ways here in the states.

    One problem was that everyone who joined showed an uncomfortable tendency to exhibit ESFJ behavior... which just happened to be the MBTI type of its founder. ESFJ traits were revered, the opposing traits were punished or decried. This weeded out those who refused to change, and it changed those who refused to leave, leaving "natural type" tainted to some degree.

    Does the Muslim faith bring out certain functions at the expense of others for men (and, I suppose, for women as well)?

    I would say that it brings out ISTx behaviour in the men, and ISFx in the women. Introversion is highly valued in Islam.

    A man is only meant to go work, pray with other men, and spend the evening at home with his family, last prayer is like a curfew (that so many do not know) from my reading, any social activities after last prayer should be religious circles, or family religious circles.

    You are not meant to question too much, to seek too far, which is why I think it pushes an S on us, all you need to know is in a book, and you shouldn't question beyond it.

    I think men are raised to not show emotion, that is a female thing, so the push to be a T for men must be strong, the women are brought up believing that they are emotional wrecks which is why they are unitelligent, and their witness only worth half of a mans, because they are F.

    I can not be sure on J or P, I think that is realy difficult for me to determine.

    What do you think?
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  10. #10
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    No, he was very lazy and could put off doing things for ages in order to go play, however he was very insistant that I do the things he was putting off for him before such and such time or else, because he demanded things be done on time to his liking, he just was too lazy to do it himself.

    Things like cleaning he expected done within the first few hours of the day or he would go ballistic because he was a neat freak.....so it was I who had to work first, and he who got to play.



    Depended, for me and the kids, family and friends always late, for appointments, early. (I am always early too, I hate lateness)



    He wouldn't have been great about it, he didn't like things that threw his day off of his own personal plans. Which is the same here, I don't really like suprises, but then that could be the going out example you gave, I don't like suggestions to go out, neither of us liked the other organising things on the others behalf. I can be spontaneous, he can be spontaneous, but we equally didn't like spontanaity from others.



    He was always right, didn't matter how much I proved he was wrong, he was always right, or he would twist his original words to make it sound like I was always wrong.

    An example, I am half English, I don't look half English for a Moroccan girl, I look like a full on Berber. I have an English mother, she came to visit (my 4th contact with her), he took us both out for a meal, sat and spoke with us both. Within 2 days of stewing it over in his head he accused me of hiring a white woman to pretend to be my mother, that he knew that I was a full Moroccan who was too ashamed of her roots to admit it. (I have no idea where his intense paranoia came from)

    I pulled out my birth certificate to prove his preposterous claim (you would laugh if I told you the rest of his acusations), he refused to look, he refused to accept it as evidence, he maintained that he was right no matter what.



    I am convinced he was an introvert, he was always quiet, he didn't like having friends, and only had one very close one, and a few aquaintances, but even then he shunned all company. I feel 99% sure that he was an introvert, I was way more extraverted than he was when we met. (infact I am beggining to wonder if I am just Introverted because it was forced on me so much)

    I believe he was a T type as he had no empathy for the suffering of others, he sometimes found it amusing, he had no compassion for anyone, he seemed to have no feelings whatsoever, he didn't even grieve well. He tortured animals as a child.
    His hobbies involved engines, techonology, science, his best subject was maths. Doesn't that sound T to you?
    It's very difficult to type an unhealthy individual because they are often overwhelmed by their shadow functions. If I had to pick something though I'd go for P with some sort of obsessive disorder/low self esteem bullying issues.

    -Geoff

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