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  1. #111
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    This makes me unsure. =/
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  2. #112
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Well from my point of view i can only tell what my ex (INTJ, 40 yr old male) was -

    Miserable bastard, serious bouts of depression and feeling sorry for himself, would continuously think about bettering himself but would never actually do it, he needed some else to push him, believer in justice, good friend if you want a logical answer to your problems with no emotion involved, selfish, emotionally retarded, pushes blame instead of taking accountability, WILL make you see his point of view which is always right, he wasn't all bad though .. i married him, now i am going to divorce him.. Lmao .. that's about it ..

    I am reading the above laughing my head off .. it's all good ..
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #113
    Senior Member hokie912's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    I tend to keep my inner world to myself as well. Often times, I don't want to communicate what I think/feel/conceive/am pondering. Putting things into words is an unwieldy process. Unsatisfying and one dimensional. It lessens my enjoyment of the experience, especially if the person you are with isn't into the kind of things you are pondering.

    (Though, there are not many things better than an exchange of ideas with someone where you can follow each others' trail and build/refine concepts and understanding together. )
    Oh my, I find this to be true for me, too! Figuring out precisely how to communicate what you're thinking or feeling is overwhelming at times, and being a perfectionist makes it that much more frustrating when you can't get it just right. In some ways, I'm stronger with empathizing/active listening than with communicating my own feelings. I can easily pick up on how someone's feeling and reflect it back to them, but there are times that I can't for the life of me explain myself. I'm also preoccupied with whether I'm being overly emotional/clich/whatever when expressing myself, which is stupid, but it happens. I tend to fare better with expressing thoughts than feelings and probably can come across as more T than F sometimes.

    I also totally agree that exchanging ideas with someone who just gets where you're coming from is the best feeling in the world. It's nice when you don't have to struggle so much to explain yourself. It's particularly true when talking to other NJs...such rewarding conversations.

    Quote Originally Posted by a24kar View Post
    Agreed, the INFJ type compared to the INTJ type has much more of an interest/passion in working with living feeling people.
    I don't really know that this is true as a rule, but I have found that I'm more interested in people, period. Not even living, feeling people, but human nature in general. I found that when I was a biology major, I was much more attracted to anything I could relate directly to human behavior (evolutionary biology, genetics) and much less interested in the animal/plant classes. History, political science and philosophy are quite appealing as well. I do like working with people, but I like trying to understand how they work even more. But, again, that's just me... I don't think you could say that INFJs are into people and INTJs aren't.

  4. #114
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    intjs are more cold & logical whereas infjs are more passionate about their feelings & the feelings of others

  5. #115
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hokie912 View Post
    In some ways, I'm stronger with empathizing/active listening than with communicating my own feelings. I can easily pick up on how someone's feeling and reflect it back to them, but there are times that I can't for the life of me explain myself. I'm also preoccupied with whether I'm being overly emotional/clich/whatever when expressing myself, which is stupid, but it happens. I tend to fare better with expressing thoughts than feelings and probably can come across as more T than F sometimes.
    i feel like this all the time. i remember one of the infj descriptions talked about needing context. how easy it is to write a beautifully flowing letter, but writing from a nowhere that doesn't exist feels next to impossible. it's one of the reasons it seems like infjs overuse the quotation feature, it helps us start from somewhere and serves as a point of interlocution for our thoughts and feelings to congregate around. Ni senses how things fit together so well and what their represent, it becomes constricting and squeezed dry to find a safe place to begin. thoughts are more ready-made, feels like rolling down the hill once the slaloms are already in place.

  6. #116
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    Ayn Rand or Fyodor Dostoevsky?

  7. #117
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i feel like this all the time. i remember one of the infj descriptions talked about needing context. how easy it is to write a beautifully flowing letter, but writing from a nowhere that doesn't exist feels next to impossible. it's one of the reasons it seems like infjs overuse the quotation feature, it helps us start from somewhere and serves as a point of interlocution for our thoughts and feelings to congregate around. Ni senses how things fit together so well and what their represent, it becomes constricting and squeezed dry to find a safe place to begin. thoughts are more ready-made, feels like rolling down the hill once the slaloms are already in place.
    Definately, that's what I've wrote about before I think, if you give a very broad context (meaning of life) my mind gets so full of potential and possibilities it will not make sense to anyone because you can't make sense with that broadness, because at that point it becomes so abstract (which of course will make the most sense to me, but no one else) but if you give something more specific, (do we have a better way to understand reality than science) you can build the tangents and possibilites around that specified. Ni creates so many possibilities, everything could be anything and there's just too much to choose from if you give a blank slate of everythingness to work it with.

    INTJ I know seems very calm and level-headed, her know-it-all attitude could be misinterpreted as simple arrogance if you didn't know better, she's just in perfect sync with her abilities and self, she knows what she knows and she knows she knows it all. Confidence (/might seem like arrogance). INTJs are the people other kids are secretly jealous and scared of at school. INFJs? No clue about them lot. They're Fe, out and about more.

  8. #118
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I would be curious to see how INFJ's respond to this.
    affected by inner turmoil is a funny way of saying, there is never a moments rest to trying to figure out who I am, and how things make me feel without much success... Ive tried so many changes of clothing, trying to figure out whats right for me... the more I go the less Identity I feel I have, I feel like my life has been defined by lies, I spent a lifetime protecting my younger siblings like a guard dog, now that everyone is older and the family is dying I feel utterly lost in the identity department. And the rest was about worrying what those around me thought, felt, saw, and trying to keep everyone happy, I was a notorious people pleaser as a kid. I liked the feeling of making my family or coaches proud of my ability and what they taught me.

    For the 1st time in my life, this close to 30, I feel like I am starting all over again trying to figure out who I am. Every day is long and drawn out, questioning constantly, judging myself for actions I haven't committed but thought of committing... it never ends. And I dont just follow thoughts a few clicks into the "plausibility" meter, I go like 20 years forward trying to see how what I would do would effect others and what it could mean and do... this stuff is going through my head non stop all the time.

    I smoke a lot of bud to lay my head out though...
    Ground control to Major Tom

  9. #119
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lotr246 View Post
    Differences? Similarities? Is each on an Ni quest, but with different aims?
    My wife is INFJ.
    My brother is INTJ.

    The differences between them are staggering, both at the anatomical and typological levels.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  10. #120
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    You're funny, Halla!

    I would agree that INFJs have a huge amount of inner turmoil.

    I tend to want to reform, re-arrange or change most of the organizations I have been part of, but want to be really sure of why I feel the way I do and what people's reactions are likely to be before I would attempt it. Right now I am wondering if I can even continue in this career because the prevailing (although uncohesive) philosophy in schools is one that I think is very counter-intuitive and is messing up a whole generation of people both socially and academically. I am considering either striking out on my own to start a different sort of program or school, or else writing/speaking about it. In some way, I want to have a larger impact.

    I like things compartmentalized in a sense - I feel better when I feel like I have some sense of sorting people out into files in my head. I'm happy to refile them though if new information comes to light. It it is satisfying to know where I'm at with all of the people in my world and to collect more complete information. In other senses I find it extremely hard to compartmentalize. When I feel stressed/sad, I may deal with it fine in a rational sense, but my body still is affected - sick stomach, shoulder tension, weariness etc. I also find that because everything in the world is so interconnected with other things, I have a hard time drawing firm lines between them, whether it is writing a paper and deciding on the boundaries and organization of it, or coming to a conclusive, quick decision without second-guessing my judgement when someone challenges it (even if I'm quite sure I'm right).

    I probably want more than anything to be known by the people I am close to. I may not divulge all my thoughts right away, but it is usually more out of unsureness of someone's reaction and wanting to be sure that I have thought it through completely before presenting it, rather than a wish to keep anyone out. I can be hurt by some people's reactions and that presents a problem when someone close to me acts insensitively or doesn't value the things/people that I do (which are an extension of who I am). It feels like a rejection of me personally, even though I realize they do not consider it that way. If it's someone I love though, I feel compelled to be open, but then am hurt by their reaction. With an acquaintance, I am more generically nice and will neither have conflict with them (as I would with someone I truly cared about), nor will I share my innermost self, although on the surface, most people would say I'm fairly open. I will give my opinions and judgement on things though if I believe it would be beneficial AND the person really wants to know. I'm not sure how much enneagram plays into my level of openness though. I am an so/sx, which maybe makes some difference.

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