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  1. #31
    Senior Member Shimpei's Avatar
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    I'm attracted to Ns, the rest is negotiable. A lot more depends on tastes, common interests, sense of humor, intelligence and moral compatibility.

  2. #32
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I usually attract ISFJs and INFPs

    and I'm attracted to the two types aswell, so there's no mismatching

  3. #33
    Member Arandur's Avatar
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    I'm attracted like a magnet to ESxx's because when I'm with them, I feel like I can open up and do all the fun stuff I wish I did of my own accord, but for whatever reason never end up doing. I always have a good time with them.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

  4. #34
    Member Agnes's Avatar
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    I've just noticed that my best (girl)friend, even from primary school is ISFP and I am ENTJ, so we are complete opposites and it works Her boyfriend is even ENTJ like me. But I cannot imagine myself being with ISFP male. I guess it may work for ENTJ male and ISFP female, but not other way around.

    Any thoughts on ENTJ female and ISFP male? just curious

  5. #35
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    compensation, but i think it needs some shared qualities as well or there is no common understanding about things or each other, or it might be one sided. But people vary on how much they need compensation vs similarity in the other person, also some study showed that type and gender effects which types end up together.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  6. #36
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
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    I've read that ESTJ male/INFP female pairings are common, but I haven't found this to be true from my own observations. From what I've seen, INFPs are more likely to end up in relationships with other Ns or with SFs. Personally, I like balanced ESTJs and admire their practicality and clear-cut, efficient way of thinking (things I am horrendously bad at)*, but I've never been romantically attracted to one.
    *Edit: Not that all INFPs are. Just some, including me.

    I think of the ESTJ as being the INFP's behavioral opposite, and ISTPs as being their true psychological opposite because they have all eight functions in the opposite order. I've been attracted to ISTPs (then again, who hasn't?), mostly because of intrigue/mystery rather than a sensed potential for mutual understanding and connection. On one occasion it seemed to be totally one-sided, and on the other we had good chemistry on the surface but very little in common as far as values and ways of thinking.

  7. #37
    LadyLazarus
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    I've only been in a relationship with an ENFP, which just based on type alone is not at all my opposite, but factoring in his enneagram(7w6) and instinctual variant(so/sx), it seems to be fairly safe to say we where opposites in that respect. He was extremely outgoing, whereas I used to be extremely introverted( I still am in that I enjoy spending/spend all of my time alone, but I know how to pretend to be an eSFP now when I need to.) He was very idealistic; I am fairly grounded. He was very enthusiastic and optimistic, I am much (MUCH) less enthusiastic and realistic(pessimistic).

    So in many ways; he was my opposite.

    In regards to temperament theory though; he would be my opposite as SP and NF are opposites within that particular theory(at least that's what I read somewhere).

    As for socionics; I am unsure as to what his type is, but I assume it to be something most definitely not Se valuing, I think it could very well be ENFp, as I could really see that. Although, the thing about that, that wouldn't make sense is that then he would have been my supervisor(if I'm remembering this correctly?) but I was clearly his.

    As I've grown older, I notice myself being drawn to Te doms and auxes, it's very odd but I find their reasonable nature to be appealing as well as just finding them so freaking confusing. I've noticed from my interactions with a few ISTJ's in my life; that we mesh well together, like we fill in what the other sucks at. They're actually some of the very few people, I can honestly say I enjoy spending time with. I also like being the only person "like me" in a relationship, I would never want to date let alone marry myself.

    As for my other opposite(shadow) ESFJ's, I seem to attract them as friends(well "friends", more like acquaintances)but I don't think I get along very well with them; mostly because I find Fe very scary.

    So, tl;dr I am attracted to my opposites(uses same/almost same functions in different order) because I want to be the only me in a relationship and because they help me learn new things by/as well as filling in what I am not good at.

  8. #38
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by underwaterthing View Post
    I've read that ESTJ male/INFP female pairings are common, but I haven't found this to be true from my own observations. From what I've seen, INFPs are more likely to end up in relationships with other Ns or with SFs. Personally, I like balanced ESTJs and admire their practicality and clear-cut, efficient way of thinking (things I am horrendously bad at)*, but I've never been romantically attracted to one.
    *Edit: Not that all INFPs are. Just some, including me.
    According to most of the statistics I've seen the ESTJ/INFP ratio in the general public is really lopsided, something like 5 to 1. So it doesn't seem like it could be all that common unless the female INFPs typically have relationships with multiple ESTJ males. Then again, I've heard statistics that roughly 2/3rds of men are Ts and 2/3rds of women are Fs, so maybe it balances out.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  9. #39
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    ^ Most INFP women I've met in person were with ISTJs or INTJs. I see them with ExxPs sometimes too, especially ExFPs. I haven't witnessed any ExTJ & INFP pairing in person yet.

    I get along pretty well with IxTJs, so those couplings are not hard to see. ExTJs are a bit more of a struggle, but I imagine for some that creates a good kind of "tension", and as an introvert, extroverts can seem very charming in the way that I suppose us introverts can be intriguing to them.

    This is part of the opposites attract part, as well as desiring qualities they possess that you lack. Strengths in different areas can remove any kind of competitiveness, so each may feel admired by the other without having to do much outside of just being who they are to impress. In worst cases, strengths in different areas leads to difficulty in even appreciating the strengths of the other, as the area is devalued by the person not possessing that strength; sometimes this is what happens when what attracted to you to someone at first later becomes annoying or even insufferable.

    Anyhow, online, I don't find ENTJs too appealing, but the few I've known in person seem promising, as in, if I met someone with such a personality who was also attractive, compatible & available, then it'd be a go. The latter is much more important criteria than type, but personality as a whole (beyond type even) is connected to the latter also. ESTJs are tough ones because I feel like even if they like me, they kinda don't still .
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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