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  1. #21
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    Hey I know your type now, I have been wondering for ages.
    Just curious, what type did you think I was?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Believe it or not I can get "wound-up" upon occasion.
    I just took the NEO-PI (Five Factor Model) yesterday and my neuroticism scores were crazy high! I need some grounding myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I think that is true, but I also think different people want very different things in their marriages. Some people might enjoy the challange of opposites and some people might want the comfort of the more similar. It is all good no matter.
    Since my sis is an ISTP we've been forced to work out our differences or at least accept each other because we're family. In a romantic relationship, I don't think I'd do as well. Yes any two mature types can get along, but I think I prefer someone similar to me on at least two scales one of them being J.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #22
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Just curious, what type did you think I was?
    I see myself as really bad at typing people online, but I was so sure you were a T type as you seem so intelligent (not that F's are not, but that different type if you get what I mean)
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  3. #23
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    I see myself as really bad at typing people online, but I was so sure you were a T type as you seem so intelligent (not that F's are not, but that different type if you get what I mean)
    I get what you mean. I put more time into what I say online so I've thought it through more. If you meet me in person there'd be no doubt I'm a raging F.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #24
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    I see myself as really bad at typing people online, but I was so sure you were a T type as you seem so intelligent (not that F's are not, but that different type if you get what I mean)
    <coffee-snort!>

    Oh, I am so glad you are an F. If a T had said that, he or she would be dead here before they hit the ground...

    The very first person I fell in love with (when I was in high school) was an ESFJ. This was 10+ years before I even knew what MBTI was.

    I was madly in love, then fell out of love and was completely sickened by them because they wouldn't let go of me and I had to be decisive and brutal to regain my boundaries. (Feeling forced to be nasty left me with a few years of self-recriminations afterwards... uggh.)

    In college, I also had another ESFJ fall madly for me. That was a love/hate relationship as well... Just awful. One moment I'd think I wanted to be with them for the rest of my life, and literally within about 30 seconds, they could do or say something that would piss me off so much I hated them and never wanted to see them again.

    They finally got tired of the up-and-down and my inability to be captured by them, and they shoved me towards someone else so as to maintain control of the situation.

    The closest extroverted type I think I could personally "fall for" would be an ENFJ, probably. No more ESFJs. Please. No.

    I think there are just things that entice us because they are Not Us -- they are mysterious, they are Other, and we want to explore them because of that. Unfortunately, often we also have trouble dealing with them long-term because they are Not Us.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #25
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Re the OP: no, I don't think I have or could be attracted to my opposite. I only know one ESFP IRL so I can't be sure but I just couldn't have a serious long term romantic relationship with any P, period. Some of my friends are Ps, one of my great friends is a P, and she is always letting me down, but at least she's consistent about it.

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  6. #26
    Member Ferrus's Avatar
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    Does it usually work so? I'm sure I read somewhere that most actually stay towards their own type. Which would make sense - if opposites attracted, INTPs and INFPs would be in great demand, whilst the hordes of ESTJs and ESFJs would be frustrated in finding suitable matches. All the evidence suggests this is not the case.

  7. #27
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I think the first guy I dated was my opposite, an ESTP. It had some positives, but over all it served to cure me of the opposites attract malady. It's not that I don't or can't like them, I often do, it's just that I feel more connected to people who are more like me and the sailing is also smoother.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #28
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    I'm ENTP and ladypinkington is INFJ which is pretty close to opposite. We both have common interests and values, so that definitely helps. On top of that though we both have well developed senses of humor, so we realize we are so different from each other and usually we just find it to be funny. It also keeps things interesting as there is always a sense of mystery.
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
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  9. #29
    Senior Member Nighthawk's Avatar
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    I'm married to a near opposite ... an ISFJ. We get along very well and seem to complement each other's weak areas with our strengths. I love her to death, but it is sometimes difficult dealing with the SJ's work first ethic ... as I am a play first type of person.

  10. #30
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what my opposite is... I suppose in letter terms it's ISFJ, though actually I find INFJ's seem to be the most alien to me and ISTJ's the most annoying.

    Outside of MBTI talk, I know that there's been a trend in the people I've had happiest relationships with, of them possessing some kind of quality or qualities that have enabled me to be more than I am alone. I guess it's part of the whole Ne flexing thing, where it's essential to have the right thing to flex against.

    In which case, it's ENTJ every time. And I don't think I share any functions with them... so maybe it's true :o
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