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  1. #11
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    I'm not really sure what the types are of people who I've been attracted to, so it's hard to say.

    I could see such an attraction, though. Someone who is the opposite type will likely have several strengths in areas that the person having the attraction is weak in, which would make them look like much stronger people than they are. (Though there aren't enough stories/information here to see if it really works that way.)

  2. #12
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    I honestly don't think I'd be interested in an ESFP, mainly because they're probably the least dependable type. In terms of functional opposites, I do enjoy conversing with my mom's ENTP boyfriend, but I don't especially trust him when I lend him my stuff. I doubt I'd want an SJ for companionship, either -- especially ESFJs and ESTJs. I don't think I'd be able to tolerate their nagging about "cleaning the house" and whatnot.

    I have found, however, that ENTJ girls turn me on (at least on the Internet) -- I imagine them as the prototype femme fatale. Where ESTJs have a certain bickering persona about details around them, which I find to be a turn-off (especially in women), ENTJ women possess a powerful, often seductive, drive. ENFJs are actually not too bad, either. The ones I've come into contact with are very sociable, and yet retain that NF profoundness in their words, rather than trivial conversations. In typical NF style, ENFJs maintain a unique style of dress and deep eyes, which generally seems to be quite common in NFs. Unfortunately, all the ENFJs I've met were taken.

  3. #13
    heart on fire
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    I did the complete opposite thing in high school. Got that out of my system...lol.

    I don't know what the guy's type was, but he was very sense orientated, action based, get things done, no introspection, thinker not feeler. The difference was very intoxicating at first and then just went toxic.

  4. #14
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    I am curious if anyone else has ever found themselves oddly drawn (in a moth to a flame type way) to their complete MBTI opposite?

    I was semi involved with an ESTJ earlier on in the year, and for two people so different I found the attraction quite strong. (not that it went anywhere, the more I like you the more chance I will dump you before you can hurt me)

    He constantly went on about how much he loved my idealistic view of things, and how much he liked my caring side, and how he liked my warrior side that fights for too many causes lol.

    The other side of it, I also like his organisation, his alpha male-ism (which I detest so badly in others), his success, his control, I admired it all, and through these differences we were drawn to each other.

    So why do opposites attract in MBTI?
    Not only do opposites attract, but I've also found that more often than not likes attract. I think it has to do with basic human horniness.
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  5. #15
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I really don't see too much opposites attracting around the MBTI forums. What I see is people usually holding their typological opposite in contempt.

    I feel neutral towards ISTPs, my sister is one and I've got an ISTP coworker that I get along well with. Those are the only ones I know personally so my knowledge is limited. I don't think I've been attracted to romantically attracted to an ISTP before.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  6. #16
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I really don't see too much opposites attracting around the MBTI forums. What I see is people usually holding their typological opposite in contempt.
    Yes I have noticed that on MBTI, I think these type of forums create that kind of triblistic mentality that would allow that kind of group contempt to build.


    I feel neutral towards ISTPs, my sister is one and I've got an ISTP coworker that I get along well with. Those are the only ones I know personally so my knowledge is limited. I don't think I've been attracted to romantically attracted to an ISTP before.
    Hey I know your type now, I have been wondering for ages.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  7. #17
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    I've been married to an ISTP now for 7 years though we have known each other much longer. I married someone first when I was very young who was too much like me. I went in the complete opposite direction after that. We get along very well. One of his greatest attributes is that he lets me be independent and doesn't try to control me. We have little conflict, our values concerning family etc. are the same. I would say that anytime we have a problem it's usually my fault-though not always. I am trying to make him more N mostly is my biggest mistake. I sometimes want some F to come out too. When I realize that I am doing this it's easy for me to let go. My opposite supplies me with a grounded sense of reality that often escapes me. He also keeps me from getting too serious about anything. Believe it or not I can get "wound-up" upon occasion. He helps me to settle down and take a relaxed view. He has always got humor and wise-cracks to help him to do this:rolli:. He gives me compliments and tells me he loves me everyday. He doesn't do "mushy" well . When I ask him what he sees in me LOL it's generally pretty darn funny. I have gotten along with every ISTP I've been around except one. I am attracted to IXTX types. He's your cliche "strong silent" type. I try to appreciate him for what he is. He tries to do the same with me. I think if opposite types (or even similar) take these views in their relationships they would get along very well. I am convinced that any 2 combinations of type can work if they are well-developed.
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  8. #18
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    That sounds great Lookin4TheBestNU, I have read that occasionally opposites make great long term relationships because they balance each other out, but I guess that depends on like you said the individuals in question being well developed which you sound like you are
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I am convinced that any 2 combinations of type can work if they are well-developed.

    I think that is true, but I also think different people want very different things in their marriages. Some people might enjoy the challange of opposites and some people might want the comfort of the more similar. It is all good no matter.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I think that is true, but I also think different people want very different things in their marriages. Some people might enjoy the challange of opposites and some people might want the comfort of the more similar. It is all good no matter.
    I just want someone lol that would be a start.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

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