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  1. #51
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FantailedWall View Post
    (To stereotype) You're an ISFJ. Of course I don't think you're looking for a fight!
    Well, I'm not.

    paisley...curious, have you lived with, dated, or been close friends with ISFJs?

  2. #52
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    The INFJ is described in MBTI literature as the most poetic of the types, thinking in metaphor and symbols. They are also future thinkers and system builders focusing on subjective systems. They are described as one of the most abstract types. They are also described as complex and layered, having unexpected sides of their personality emerging.

    I understand ISFJs to be more consistent, practical, and self-sacrificing. They are sensitive and loyal. I think ISFJ is not as abstract as INFJ, but is capable logic and analysis as well with Tertiary Ti.

    Both tend to perform consistently, are quiet, cooperative, and therefore are easily confused as the same type although their cognitive styles are opposite in many ways.

    An ISFJ may notice details in the facial and physical expression of feelings whereas the INFJ might notice patterns in language and intuit how others might feel and perceive the world in a more abstract way. The ISFJ will be more likely to melt in response to sad puppy eyes, whereas the INFJ might tend to put that expressive quality into a context of what it means from the inside of the bearer of the sad puppy eyes.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #53
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Well, I'm not.

    paisley...curious, have you lived with, dated, or been close friends with ISFJs?
    I'm vewy vewy sowwy if I huwt youw feewings.

    An ISFJ friendship has never lasted with me, so would you like to be my friend?

    If I've started a fight, that was unintended, I was simply venting and looking for some resonance from other INFJ's who also feel that their or asshole side comes out when attempting to have a deep conversation with an ISFJ. That's just the thing, I've never HAD a deep conversation with one, the conversation just doesn't go there, compared to other types, like NF's and NT's. It's like for some reason I ALWAYS question their motives and then realize I have to back down and learn to be patient and kind, all over again with the ISFJ. Like a communication barrier sign stating, "Depth will only go THIS far!"

    I'm holding out an olive branch here Hmm. Who are you, what are you like, what's important to you, what inspires you, how's life been treating you? Let's play a game: See if paisley1 can learn to love Hmm.

    You might find this interesting about me, out of all the careers listed for the INFJ from Careers for INFJ Personality Types :

    Possible Career Paths for the INFJ:

    * Clergy / Religious Work
    * Teachers
    * Medical Doctors / Dentists
    * Alternative Health Care Practitioners, i.e. Chiropractor, Reflexologist
    * Psychologists
    * Psychiatrists
    * Counselors and Social Workers
    * Musicians and Artists
    * Photographers
    * Child Care / Early Childhood Development

    I've done 1, 2, 7, 8, and 10. I worked as a director of a therapeutic group home run by a religious organization for orphans under the age of 13 and provided couselling, education and child care for them, and taught a few how to play the piano, drums and guitar.

    Just in case you doubt my INFJness!
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

  4. #54
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    ISFJ's are incredibly annoying. INFJ's are not.

    ISFJs have Si first and Ne last. INFJ have Ni first and Se last. Huge difference there.

  5. #55
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    FantailedWall: Because I was curious.

  6. #56
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Wow paisley...you've got a great attitude about ISFJ's!

    I've become good friends with an ISFJ over the past few years. She's about 20 yrs older than I, so perhaps some of it has to do with maturity. And, as with all types, there are immature/unhealthy examples of a type, and mature/healthy examples of a type - so there are hellish, annoying ISFJ's out there, and the same goes for INFJ's!

    The ISFJ I know is just as insightful as many NF's when it comes to relationships and interactions with people, and emotions, and in some ways more so. I know I can talk to her about dilemmas I have, and she'll listen and provide genuine empathy or constructive feedback/suggestions. It's just different - I don't know that she has an immediate understanding with what I'm saying, or if she can totally relate, but she for sure relates to the feelings in general and can be really supportive with that stuff.

    I consider her to be a very wise woman. Grounded and practical, yes, but she's certainly not incapable of talking about her hopes and dreams - she just may not reach for them as readily as I might, and it may be due to obligations she sets for herself. She's perhaps less selfish than I in that respect. She's pretty well-rounded.

    In the working world, we had similar approaches - wanting to be diplomatic. However she was much more hesitant than I, and less apt to charge ahead and question someone, or state her opinion. That might be more of the behind-the-scenes thing vs. the one I'm supposed to do. haha.

    She was much more thorough than I, and more attuned to details - paperwork, forms, documenting things, etc. We worked well in that sense - she took care of the stuff I didn't particularly like, as it was something she was naturally drawn to anyway. VERY organized.

    I do think she was more sensitive to conflict than I, however, and I think she had a much harder time letting it not affect her. Easily stressed and bothered by workplace dynamics, and I was better at letting it wash over me. We had some interesting mbti-type talks, and I learned she had initial 'problems' with NT styles - really rubbed her the wrong way. I tried to show the other side of it, and why they acted the way they did, etc, and she was like...'Oh!'...and then she was able to take their ways of communication less personally.

    She wrote up a peer-review of me, and part of it was - "Cascade knows how to 'get to the point'. When others can be bogged down with details, she has the remarkable ability to see clearly and concisely what needs to be done.' This was something she remarked about me on more than one occasion, and admired it because she WAS prone to getting bogged down with the details.

    Oh! And related to that. Just general conversational style -- she's very specific and very detailed when describing what's going on in her life, and for example, what she did over the weekend. I'm the opposite - very vague, and I don't talk about the details because I don't find them that important or relevant to the overall story.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  7. #57
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Oh! And related to that. Just general conversational style -- she's very specific and very detailed when describing what's going on in her life, and for example, what she did over the weekend. I'm the opposite - very vague, and I don't talk about the details because I don't find them that important or relevant to the overall story.
    That might very well be the EXACT thing that turns me off. The details aren't as important as the meat of the story. What is the point? What are you getting at? Why don't you just speak your mind? Why are we dancing around the issue? Those are the types of questions I run into with ISFJ's and it drives me bonkers to no end. I am highly turned off and disengaged by excessive verbosity that goes no where. Unless it's hilarious; like in the words of Burgess Meredith from Grumpier old men "There's no moral, I just like that story!"; I'm completely bored. So, just like you said Cascademn, you go to prove what I alreaedy said; I need to be patient with the ISFJ and have a long fuse.....just sometimes (shaking my fists before my fuse blows)......
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

  8. #58
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    to answer the title, learn to distinguish between temperaments. are they an SJ or an NF?
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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  9. #59
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paisley1 View Post
    That might very well be the EXACT thing that turns me off. The details aren't as important as the meat of the story. What is the point? What are you getting at? Why don't you just speak your mind? Why are we dancing around the issue? Those are the types of questions I run into with ISFJ's and it drives me bonkers to no end. I am highly turned off and disengaged by excessive verbosity that goes no where. Unless it's hilarious; like in the words of Burgess Meredith from Grumpier old men "There's no moral, I just like that story!"; I'm completely bored. So, just like you said Cascademn, you go to prove what I alreaedy said; I need to be patient with the ISFJ and have a long fuse.....just sometimes (shaking my fists before my fuse blows)......
    The reason that details are important for me, is because they allow me to create a picture in my mind. I have the habit of being too detailed when telling a story, but that's merely because I am actually speaking my mind. I'm retelling the image as I see it, trying to re-capture the situation.

    Basically if I'm telling it. It's because I think it might be relevant to the scenario, that extra piece of information might be useful even if there might be no linkage. When I'm telling a story without details, it's just like giving a bullet point session. It feels extremly empty since it's not creating a full picture (with the main point).

    Having said that... I identify with the feeling of just telling my parents to just get to the point behind a story. So a little hypocritical there. ~.~

  10. #60
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Hahaha, us INFJ's already see the picture in our minds, therefore no recreation is necessary. We often have YOUR picture in our minds long before you've finished describing it, that's why we'd rather you preface your sentence with, the point of what I'm about to tell you is _________, and then explain the details. We'll meet you halfway through the recreation. We'd like to avoid a lot of unnecessary verbosity because of our well developed intuitive abstact cognition. It's a weakness INFJ's have with you, because we can become very smug and condescending and finish your points before you. Like I said, I have to learn to be patient with ISFJ's, hahahahaha, as with old people...........I can't help it, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist describing ISFJ's as old people.....it's just sitting right there in front of me.......
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

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