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  1. #91
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warm View Post
    I hadn't heard of this before either. I'm not INFJ, but this sounds JUST like me. I find it easier to shut someone out of my life completely than to hold on to the past because it helps me to move on. This is a characteristic that has been the topic of many discussions with my hubby (the former INFP).
    Yeah. I had an ISFJ in my life, and she couldn't find a way to deal,
    so she had to slam the door on our friendship.
    It was all or nothing.

  2. #92
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    ^*hugs!* *hugs!*
    Quote Originally Posted by paisley1 View Post
    awww, we're buddies! Yeah!
    Yay! I'm in an INFJ hug sandwich! *hugs*

  3. #93
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paisley1 View Post
    Hahaha, us INFJ's already see the picture in our minds, therefore no recreation is necessary. We often have YOUR picture in our minds long before you've finished describing it, that's why we'd rather you preface your sentence with, the point of what I'm about to tell you is _________, and then explain the details. We'll meet you halfway through the recreation. We'd like to avoid a lot of unnecessary verbosity because of our well developed intuitive abstact cognition. It's a weakness INFJ's have with you, because we can become very smug and condescending and finish your points before you. Like I said, I have to learn to be patient with ISFJ's, hahahahaha, as with old people...........I can't help it, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist describing ISFJ's as old people.....it's just sitting right there in front of me.......
    This set of assumptions can easily lead to conclusions based on self projection and imagination. A danger in considering oneself "intuitive" is to jump to conclusions, and then set up situations to become self fulfilling prophecies regardless of the reality of the situation.

    Approaching social situations with a declaration of having a great deal of insight over what others are thinking suggests a fear or deeper sense of being lost in relation to others. Telling someone you can easily be inside their head makes them feel a sense of intrusion and loss of control over their personal boundaries. There can be a variety of motivations for someone to try to make other people feel this way. Some are obvious, others less so.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  4. #94
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Telling someone you can easily be inside their head makes them feel a sense of intrusion and loss of control over their personal boundaries. There can be a variety of motivations for someone to try to make other people feel this way. Some are obvious, others less so.
    True, or we actually CAN see within them, and the person is intrigued, speculative, and interested!

    Always a matter of approachability, and most INFJ's have that in spades! I'd suggest as a whole INFJ's are disarming, not intrusive in their manner of approach in such a situation. Lean more towards building people up than tearing them down. Disarming is a good word for it, because we'll intrude your headspace and you'll think it was your idea.
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
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    8w9 EIE

  5. #95
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paisley1 View Post
    True, or we actually CAN see within them, and the person is intrigued, speculative, and interested!

    Always a matter of approachability, and most INFJ's have that in spades! I'd suggest as a whole INFJ's are disarming, not intrusive in their manner of approach in such a situation. Lean more towards building people up than tearing them down. Disarming is a good word for it, because we'll intrude your headspace and you'll think it was your idea.
    Hmm. No.

    Most of the time, I'm quite wrong in my assumptions as to what someone else is thinking. There are very few people in which they say to me, "Get out of my head!" and that's usually only because we both happened to be coming to similar conclusions because we were both on the same wavelength with an issue. I am not in their head, not at all, I am, instead, thinking the same thing they are because they must have the same mental tendencies as I do for that one topic. It is just a matter of one of us saying it first and saying it the clearest.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  6. #96
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    You misinterpret CAN for ALWAYS. If the INFJ is just plain stupid than they aren't going to make intuitive claims about what the ISFJ is droning on about, and will have to listen closely to understand what's being said. What you're talking about is every INFJ knows the headspace of every other type, all the time, which is not what I've suggested at all. All I'm suggesting is that INFJ's have a weakness with the ISFJ because we naturally make rational mental leaps in our minds that ISFJ's don't necessarily make so quickly about what someone is saying. The mental leap is usually internal, thought out, and confirmed or denied well into the ISFJ's talk. If the INFJ is smart and listening, and knows where this ISFJ talk is going and they are bored, they will interject and start finishing thoughts, which like I said, can lead an ISFJ to become surprised by the mental leap saying "how did you know what I was thinking?" or like you guys keep saying lead the ISFJ to say "Stop interrupting me, that's not what I mean" If the INFJ is really interested, they will hear the ISFJ out and listen to confirm or deny what they're already thinking. It's a matter of, is it worth it, to listen to what I already know and have already figured out in my head? The weakness is a feeling of boredom almost on the INFJ's part, and it's specific to the ISFJ. Again, it's a matter of personality and mood between the two during the conversation as well, what headspace everyone is in.

    Your experience is totally different from mine in how you read people. Generally after a few brief moments with someone I know which way the wind is blowing, and have a general sense of what the other person is all about. I don't know what people are like before they start talking, but after a short while with them I've made several rationally intuitive claims about them, that are more true in the end, than when I first met them. As well, other sides are revealed.

    I have this ENTP Type A girl in my life and she's totally "bull by the horns", leader, go go go go go, all the time, and I enjoy talking with her, but I wouldn't want to date her. Her idea of having fun on a regular basis is a full schedule from the moment she wakes up until the moment she falls asleep, with marathons in between. Done as though it's all like having a cup of coffee. Bizarre to me. I like asking her things she doesn't like to hear, just to see how the conversation will go. Things like taking time to relax and meditate and making time for repose to gather your thoughts. How people are not all the same and people are different and are in perfect liberty to choose what it is that they deem relaxing and enjoyable, and that they don't need to be the same as you, to be doing the right things in life. It seems funny putting that down in writing, but it's nonetheless true, lol. All people should want that, is the message she puts out, and I'm always playing devils advocate, describing how that doesn't lead to the maximum benefit for everyone. She has confessed that she needs to work on that, and does recognize that it's not right to implant her own way to live on everyone, although, I find it funny how strongly she feels about it really being so in life. Any thoughts?
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
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  7. #97
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paisley1 View Post
    You misinterpret CAN for ALWAYS. I did not interpret can for always. I interpreted can to mean "has the ability to", which I do not believe is the case. If the INFJ is just plain stupid than they aren't going to make intuitive claims about what the ISFJ is droning on about, and will have to listen closely to understand what's being said. First, an INFJ is not stupid if they do not choose to "make claims" that they have some mental insight and think they know the ISFJ in and out. Second, you are being condescending to ISFJs in general by assuming what they have to say is "droning" which implies what they are saying is very boring. Third, why is listening carefully frowned upon by you? You make it sound like listening carefully and wanting to understand someone is so last year because making intuitive assumptions that are probably WRONG is "just plain stupid". What you're talking about is every INFJ knows the headspace of every other type, all the time, which is not what I've suggested at all. No. What I am talking about are instances where I happen to come to the same conclusion as someone else. I never said I was suddenly in the headspace of every other type. Just suddenly on the same wavelength of the conversation of one other person, in a particular instance. All I'm suggesting is that INFJ's have a weakness with the ISFJ because we naturally make rational mental leaps in our minds that ISFJ's don't necessarily make so quickly about what someone is saying. The mental leap is usually internal, thought out, and confirmed or denied well into the ISFJ's talk. If the INFJ is smart and listening, and knows where this ISFJ talk is going and they are bored, they will interject and start finishing thoughts, which like I said, can lead an ISFJ to become surprised by the mental leap saying "how did you know what I was thinking?" or like you guys keep saying lead the ISFJ to say "Stop interrupting me, that's not what I mean" If the INFJ is really interested, they will hear the ISFJ out and listen to confirm or deny what they're already thinking. Or maybe the INFJ needs to shut their trap and stop being so rude. Why do you keep insinuating that: 1) ISFJs cannot make mental leaps and 2) INFJs assume all ISFJs are boring. And since when does "smart" mean that you get to interrupt someone because you think you know all the answers. Sounds pretty arrogant to me. It's a matter of, is it worth it, to listen to what I already know and have already figured out in my head? If you want to be rude, sure it is. Or you could be patient and wait for them to take you by surprise.The weakness is a feeling of boredom almost on the INFJ's part, and it's specific to the ISFJ. Or it is just specific to you. Not all INFJs. Again, it's a matter of personality and mood between the two during the conversation as well, what headspace everyone is in.

    Your experience is totally different from mine in how you read people. Generally after a few brief moments with someone I know which way the wind is blowing, and have a general sense of what the other person is all about. I don't know what people are like before they start talking, but after a short while with them I've made several rationally intuitive claims about them, that are more true in the end, than when I first met them. As well, other sides are revealed. I wasn't necessarily describing how I read people. I was describing instances that I felt contradicted what you were saying in that they were coincidences and not instances of actively trying to be inside someone's head.
    My thoughts. Enjoy.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  8. #98
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    My thoughts. Enjoy.
    Sure. You've just elaborated on the point I already made, about the INFJ being bored.
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
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    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

  9. #99
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    IS SOMEBODY SEEING INSIDE MY HEAD RIGHT NOW?

  10. #100
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    lol
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

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