How is your type misunderstood?

[rhinosaur]

The first thing that comes to mind is when people think that my solitude means I'm lonely or depressed.

 

[The Ü™]

Point 3: Another area of frustration comes from assumptions about INFJs as subjective, emotional thinkers. Very often in an online discussion my purpose is abstract and distanced. Personal examples are only assumed to be imperfect fragments that suggest a more abstract theory. Many times people will assume my statements are directed at them in a personal way when nothing could be further from my mind. It always shocks me a little and I take care to correct the misunderstanding. I have at times wished I had an NT by my name assuming this misunderstanding would occur less often. I believe I also read someplace that INFJs are one of the most abstract of all the types. I would agree with that for my case. I purposefully avoid thinking in personal terms for the emotional sake of others and because the individual is far too complex to represent all. That is why a principle may be extracted from a single individual or event, but it only has meaning in more universal terms since there is no way to address the vast amount of personal details that apply to one person.

Of course it's entirely possible i have an INTJ twist to me. Ni is definitely dominant and Se not so much. Perhaps the whole Ti Te Fi Fe bit play ring-around-the-rosey inbetween. doot-a-doot-a-doo-doo...

Ni is the most abstract of the functions, I would assume. It's mentioned quite often that Ni types are the hardest to understand. Communication for the Ni is quite difficult.

Personality Page's personal growth pages for both INTJ and INFJ both state that when all the functions are used to satisfy the dominant function of Ni, these types tend to be sarcastic and temperamental.

Ni is a function of either idealism or skepticism. It's also escapist in nature. And because Se in the Ni is repressed, it manifests itself in compulsive behaviors or repetitive bodily movements (like lining things up or rocking back-and-forth) that serve little purpose. And Se behavior when used to solely serve Ni is often unconscious. Such behavior comforts dominant Ni. And this is why I think Ni has a connection with autistic tendencies. Since Ni types are rare, they will probably be perceived as having a learning disability when in fact, it is merely a personality difference, much like what I think autism actually is.

Here's a link that further supports my autism and Ni theory. There is also a Ti connection with autism, I suspect, as well.

 

[heart]

Many times people will assume my statements are directed at them in a personal way when nothing could be further from my mind.

I get that a lot online.

To answer the original question:

In offline life people around me aren't really interested in MBTI so I can't really say they misunderstand my type, but here is what people most often think and usually have no problem telling so either:

I am depressed when I am just feeling tired and withdrawn.

That I am *weak* and can be pushed around just because I am polite and quiet.

That I am sort of stupid because they can't understand my way of relating things.

That I am stupid because I am quiet. I am not stupid on those issues, I am just bored with what most people around me want to talk about! If I have nothing to say, I am not going to just start blabbing just to fill the empty space.

That I am a space cadet with no grasp of reality, just because I don't use the phrase "that's just the way things are and always have been" to rationalize the way things are in the world. I know what reality is, I just don't see why I have to accept that is the only way things could ever be.

That I am arrogant, aloof, cold.

That I am uninterested in what they are saying just because I am not quivering and squealing with excitement. If I am nodding and encouraging you to go on then I am interested. *sigh*

Here is an example of something that has happened often in my life in various settings. There is some misunderstanding going on but I am not clear on exactly what it is. Years ago, sitting in math, I am just sitting there listening, thinking and taking notes. (Math isn't my strong point!)

The professor stops and says "Heart, am I boring you?" His eyes are very angry and the anger vibes are just raditating off him.

Me: "No." Embarassed and wanting to disappear!

Professor: "Well, you looked like I was boring you." Voice heavy with indignation. "May I continue then? If that is okay with you?"

Me: "Yes." Wondering WTF the dude's problem is and not really knowing what he wants to hear to make him happy.

Professor: "Oh, well thank you then." Voice heavy with sarcasm.

Things like this leave me bewildered. I hate when it happens and cannot figure out where in the world the person gets the idea I am not listening or whatever and wants to single me out for some weird humilation. This professor didn't do this to anyone else during the whole semester.

There is a certain kind of man (and a few women, but it is mostly men) who I just set off p*ssed without even trying. I wish I could know what it was because it is sort of scary to me when it happens. The man is usually uber male, deep voice, beard, heavy body type, bear sort of energy coming off of them, considers himself very intelligent, mostly higher education. (If it is a woman, she has a more masculine and all business air to her, sharp, radiates commanding energy)

I don't know what they see or think they see in me, but they sure take affront to it. It is something gut level because at times I have not even spoken to them before they zero in on me. Some of these persons have felt free to rage on me and then it is just me standing there with this red faced nut yelling at me and everyone staring... I never know exactly how to handle that, usually by trying to stay externally cool yet assertive and quivering and shaking like crazy inside.

 

[Randomnity]

Js think I'm lazy.

Fs think I'm rude.

Ns think I'm boring (or so I assume).

Es don't mind me (or so I assume).

I try not to be misunderstood by people I care about. I try to remember to tune into how people are interpreting me. And I also tend to care about people who aren't likely to misunderstand me enough to cause problems (either because they are like me or because they're cool).

If I don't care about them, I don't care if they misunderstand me. Unless it'd cause me problems, anyway.

 

[Shimpei]

ISFJs tend to be seen as weak, touchy-feely, bigot, rigid and boring simpletons who can be easily manipulated.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

ISFJs tend to be seen as weak, touchy-feely, bigot, rigid and boring simpletons who can be easily manipulated.

My fingers are still crossed that Vin Diesel is in fact an ISFJ.

 

[niffer]

People who don't know me extremely well think I have no emotional life whatsoever.

 

[targobelle]

my people pleasing skills has everyone thinking I love watching not only their children but my own.... many also think I have no other skills and lack creativity


It's fast leading to burn out *sigh*

 

[Llenyd]

Here is an example of something that has happened often in my life in various settings. There is some misunderstanding going on but I am not clear on exactly what it is. Years ago, sitting in math, I am just sitting there listening, thinking and taking notes. (Math isn't my strong point!)

The professor stops and says "Heart, am I boring you?" His eyes are very angry and the anger vibes are just raditating off him.

Me: "No." Embarassed and wanting to disappear!

Professor: "Well, you looked like I was boring you." Voice heavy with indignation. "May I continue then? If that is okay with you?"

Me: "Yes." Wondering WTF the dude's problem is and not really knowing what he wants to hear to make him happy.

Professor: "Oh, well thank you then." Voice heavy with sarcasm.

Things like this leave me bewildered. I hate when it happens and cannot figure out where in the world the person gets the idea I am not listening or whatever and wants to single me out for some weird humilation. This professor didn't do this to anyone else during the whole semester.

I think it might be the glazed, distant look one tends to get when one is introspecting. You could be mulling over the lesson in your mind, but to him it looked like you were ignoring him and thinking about something else. It could be especially bad if you were a bit bewildered and let out an unconscious sigh.

 

[heart]

I think it might be the glazed, distant look one tends to get when one is introspecting. You could be mulling over the lesson in your mind, but to him it looked like you were ignoring him and thinking about something else. It could be especially bad if you were a bit bewildered and let out an unconscious sigh.

I think you are right about the glazed look, but geez I can't be the only student who ever had a glazed look in the god's class, even that semester.

 

[indigo2020]

E's think I am too quiet, boring, upset about something (if I just happen to be in a quiet type of mood) and/or angry about something (when I just sometimes don't want to talk, especially when I am feeling kind of tired or stressed because it just takes too much energy).

S's think I am weird, have my head in the clouds, that I am stupid (like if I don't notice something in front of me or can't do something mechanical).

T's think I am stupid because I am not uberlogical and because I do tend to "think" with my heart and intuition over my "head." T's are annoyed with me a lot (I think and feel) that I don't get things like math and that I like to explore and analyze literature or other open-ended subjects.

P's think I am rigid, unforgiving, inflexible, not spontaneous and overly demanding.

 

[Matt22]

Point 1: Is there any reference in MBTI analysis regarding temper and type? It's my understanding that is not related. I don't have a temper at all.

I don't know. When my buttons get pushed, I hold my tongue. On the other hand, my Dad (ENTJ) will immediately express his emotions, but so will my sister (INTP). I think it's more of a dominant thing, which may be separate from MBTI.

 

[Recoleta]

I am almost always perceived as shy...which bugs me quite often. To me at least, there is a huge difference between being shy and being introverted. People don't scare me or make me nervous and I can talk to strangers without a problem. It is simply that when I am in a group I will hardly ever speak because I enjoy sitting back and listening to others talk. If I have something of value to add to the conversation I will speak up, but otherwise I would rather observe.

People also probably think I'm a bit stuck up too because I am almost always exact and very detailed in the things that I say. However, similar to you INTJ's, I know what I know, and I know what I don't know. If I'm clueless on a subject I won't say anything or will simply admit that I know nothing about the topic. Generally I will only speak if I am confident in what I am saying.

Lastly, people also expect me to be emotionless. I'm not a terribly warm or touchy-feely person, but I certainly have emotions...very strong ones sometimes, although I usually keep a cool outward demeanor. I've noticed that if I so happen to cry in front of someone...the other person will probably freak out because they expect me to be always be emotionally strong.

 

[Recoleta]

Oh yeah, and one last thing. Just because I am an ISTJ does not mean I am anything like Sona. Hopefully no offense should be taken from that statement...because it is merely an observation. I just find it interesting that although we apparently share the same type I see almost no similarities between our view points or the things we think about (granted, I am only basing this statement on the relatively few posts I have read by him in the forums). So...ummm...yeah...

 

[Sahara]

Oh yeah, and one last thing. Just because I am an ISTJ does not mean I am anything like Sona. Hopefully no offense should be taken from that statement...because it is merely an observation. I just find it interesting that although we apparently share the same type I see almost no similarities between our view points or the things we think about (granted, I am only basing this statement on the relatively few posts I have read by him in the forums). So...ummm...yeah...

You don't come across like him either so don't sweat it.

 

[Natrushka]

You don't come across like him either so don't sweat it.

Seconded

 

[lastrailway]

As many others already mentioned, I find that people more extroverted and/or feelers than I, usually believe that:
-I am shy/sad/lonely/unhappy/need help/need to find friends, boyfriend, etc.:
I am none of that and if I ever felt the need to socialise more, I 'd probably try and do it.
-I am snobbish/arrogant/close-minded. :
that's what happens when they start to invite me in all sort of gatherings or activities in order to "help" me and I either decline most invitations or join them but leave the soonest possible. This also gives the opportunity to realise I am not shy at all. So they believe that I am snobbish, which I am not at all

 

[FDG]

- Impatient
- Can't have a serious discussion
- Talk too much
- Too loud
- Tactless humor
- Disparaging of intellectuals
- Booming laughter
- Weird, when I let the N fly

 

[Matt22]

That ENTJ's are driving, insensitive, and snappish. Though, to be fair, I am most comfortable when I'm in that state.

And that ENTJ's are all about themselves. Some do give that impression, yes. But ultimately, we'd rather run things than focus on ourselves.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Oh yeah, and one last thing. Just because I am an ISTJ does not mean I am anything like Sona. Hopefully no offense should be taken from that statement...because it is merely an observation. I just find it interesting that although we apparently share the same type I see almost no similarities between our view points or the things we think about (granted, I am only basing this statement on the relatively few posts I have read by him in the forums). So...ummm...yeah...

lol

Ha. I noticed that very thing. Based on reading of the theory and such, you seem much more spot on for that type. I also have a dear aunt who is an ISTJ - rather strongly so. I'll accept Sona is an ISTJ since that's what he states, but he doesn't come off very close to the written descriptions imo. The deliberate stirring up of drama is not center line sensible. It's all rather prankstery and difficult from appearances to understand the 'why' of it. Both of those aspects don't seem textbook ISTJ.