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  1. #221
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    - ESFPs tend to seek new experiences and ENFPs seek new ideas/possibilities. Yes, these can cross over, but you have to look for an overall preference and determine the motivations behind the actions.
    this corroborates what I was going for in my original post that was subsequently attacked. The ESFPs get in trouble for seeking experiences at the expense of their responsibilities, while the ENFPs get in trouble for focusing on the possibilities at the expense of their responsibilities.

  2. #222
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    this corroborates what I was going for in my original post that was subsequently attacked. The ESFPs get in trouble for seeking experiences at the expense of their responsibilities, while the ENFPs get in trouble for focusing on the possibilities at the expense of their responsibilities.
    I personally find that very plausible. It's just people not getting past the negativity of the statement and poor use of vocabulary. (Hard to make a point using the word "fuckup" and expect people to take you seriously.) If you take that out, it's just that ESFP's are busy having fun, (doing whatever it is that they do), and ENFP's are busy in their own minds, coming up with new and exciting ideas. In both cases, it can cause the person to slack and become preoccupied and fail to get things done. Pretty much as stated in the above, and good examples earlier about the pot smoker vs. dinner goer btw.
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  3. #223
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I'd like to say I value dependabilty, but I might be a little too one sided about it And as much as I want good vibes between everyone, I might get a little distracted when people are opening up. I'm listening and all that, but they don't always have my undivided attention.

    I'm only really mentioning it because this is how a lot of conversations can be with me. It's hard to get my full,undivided attention (at least I think I appear that way from the outside).
    How would you recommend working through this with ESFP... I've had so many times in the last several months where she agreed to help me on a project, give me something, go with me somewhere etc... and she made excuses at the last minute and because of this I got a a) late grade b) completely lost my birthday plans c) fell through as a friend when I was going through a tough breakup...

    It seems if I talked to her she'd just get frustrated and not understand, because life to her is about having fun. She's an A student but views life as she wants to just go live life recklessly and experience it while she's young. lol That she might have not been the best friend she could be in these situations never even seemed to cross her mind - she didn't apologize or anything and was peachy happy and friendly the next time I saw her...

    This same sort of flaking out happened to me to a lesser extent with another IxFP friend as well so I'm wondering if it's just me that feels it's important to follow through when I'm depending on someone for something they agreed to...
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  4. #224
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    How would you recommend working through this with ESFP... I've had so many times in the last several months where she agreed to help me on a project, give me something, go with me somewhere etc... and she made excuses at the last minute and because of this I got a a) late grade b) completely lost my birthday plans c) fell through as a friend when I was going through a tough breakup...

    It seems if I talked to her she'd just get frustrated and not understand, because life to her is about having fun. She's an A student but views life as she wants to just go live life recklessly and experience it while she's young. lol That she might have not been the best friend she could be in these situations never even seemed to cross her mind - she didn't apologize or anything and was peachy happy and friendly the next time I saw her...

    This same sort of flaking out happened to me to a lesser extent with another IxFP friend as well so I'm wondering if it's just me that feels it's important to follow through when I'm depending on someone for something they agreed to...
    I'm sorry, but I'm the last person to give advice about flaking :\ And if your other friend is ISFP, then they're probably a little flaky too. You don't have to change your approach or anything... we just suck XP

    I come back and act peachy when I flake out too... But I tend to apologize/be more self aware after the fact. I hope your friend grows up and does the same thing before more distance grows between the two of you.

  5. #225
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    How would you recommend working through this with ESFP... I've had so many times in the last several months where she agreed to help me on a project, give me something, go with me somewhere etc... and she made excuses at the last minute and because of this I got a a) late grade b) completely lost my birthday plans c) fell through as a friend when I was going through a tough breakup...

    It seems if I talked to her she'd just get frustrated and not understand, because life to her is about having fun. She's an A student but views life as she wants to just go live life recklessly and experience it while she's young. lol That she might have not been the best friend she could be in these situations never even seemed to cross her mind - she didn't apologize or anything and was peachy happy and friendly the next time I saw her...

    This same sort of flaking out happened to me to a lesser extent with another IxFP friend as well so I'm wondering if it's just me that feels it's important to follow through when I'm depending on someone for something they agreed to...
    Eek, unfortunately that sounds kind of stereotypical of young ESFP's. She definitely doesn't mean to hurt your feelings and probably hasn't given much thought to the consequences that she caused. I don't know if this will work, but I would talk to her. Just keep the assumption in mind that she didn't mean to cause you any harm. Many of us don't read minds very well and she probably doesn't even know that she's doing it because no one ever told her. It may not work at first. I've personally been trying to break myself of these lifelong procrastination and slacking habits. But it may plant a seed in her mind and help a little.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
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    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  6. #226
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gauche View Post
    Well, how could one distinguish ESFP and ENFP?

    Tell me concrete examples in particular.

    Why do I ask? Because I have a strange feeling, you know, that there are many ESFPs who are being typed as ENFP, but actually they are ESFPs. How do you see it?
    Of the two most significant romantic relationships of my life: one was with an ESFP, and the other an ENFP.

    They are both extremely fun-loving and adorable, but the primary difference is that things don't go over the ENFP's head.

    Now, I'm an INTJ, so maybe I'm in a special position to test in this kinda way, as I can go off on some Ni thought-path, and my ENFP will follow.

    The ESFP: well, she would just kinda give me a blank stare...

    So, yeah, pretty easy for me. Maybe not for others.

  7. #227
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    ^I think I'm a little brighter than umm.. the stereotype, and yet I STILL have things go over my head a lot. Sometimes though I figure it out moments later, but at that point, everyone is amused at the first reaction... so I don't fight it. They can think what they like... but NOW I'm going over THEIR heads by playing dumb. :P

  8. #228
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    Haha, yeah, my ESFP ex used that same, umm, "argument".

    I've heard it from numerous ESFPs.

    Don't worry; you guys have your talents, too.

    I never call her dumb; she's just not particularly smart in that way.

  9. #229
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I read that in Socionics, INTP's were good at reading (and even appreciating) ESFPs. You sure you're not one of them?

  10. #230
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    I'm very close. Hence, why I put xNTx in my profile.

    If you see my signature, you'll see the (approximate) percentages I fall on each side of the scale.

    Ni is my dom, but I am a heavy user of Ti, Te, and Ne, as well.

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