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  1. #21
    Senior Member Shimpei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    What traits do you admire most in others? What traits do you consider to be the worst? It would be interesting to compare and contrast each of the types. After enough entries I plan to make organize all the responses by type and see how it pans out.

    1. State your MBTI type

    2. Describe what you admire most in others

    3. Describe what you find most deplorable in others.

    4. Enjoy!
    1. ISFJ
    2. emotional intelligence, intellect and wit
    3. hypocrisy and manipulation
    4. thanks

  2. #22
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    What traits do you admire most in others? What traits do you consider to be the worst? It would be interesting to compare and contrast each of the types. After enough entries I plan to make organize all the responses by type and see how it pans out.

    1. State your MBTI type

    2. Describe what you admire most in others

    3. Describe what you find most deplorable in others.

    4. Enjoy!
    1. ENFJ
    2. Compassion, humility, integrity, courage, perseverance, confidence
    3. For some reason it's easier for me to figure what I admire. Deplorable is such a strong word to me, I rarely find people deplorable. I find amorality the most frightening trait to encounter in another person. It means that they could do anything and not feel or think anything about it.
    4. I did!
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #23
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    By "breaking away from the pack" I didn't mean choosing to be alone or anything like that. I meant when people just decide they're different, special, etc, than everyone else, or when they decide to cause disharmony just for the sake of it.
    Yes people do that often as if they're making some kind of point. It's the better than everyone else part that annoys me, not the need to be an individual. It's usually accompanied by a superior and disdainful attitude. Like Niffer said it's pointless rebellion that destroys.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #24
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Yes people do that often as if they're making some kind of point. It's the better than everyone else part that annoys me, not the need to be an individual. It's usually accompanied by a superior and disdainful attitude. Like Niffer said it's pointless rebellion that destroys.
    When I read it, I took it to mean a sort of "hubris" -- they cannot handle the idea of being "ordinary" or that others are just as "special" as they are, because their self-identity is based on feeling superior or more special in some way, and this need to be "something more" than everyone else leads to a host of hurt and evils.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #25
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    When I read it, I took it to mean a sort of "hubris" -- they cannot handle the idea of being "ordinary" or that others are just as "special" as they are, because their self-identity is based on feeling superior or more special in some way, and this need to be "something more" than everyone else leads to a host of hurt and evils.
    Good point. This is an interesting discussion. That type of thinking is often intermingled with feelings of inferiority. The superiority rationalization is a way to justify feeling rejected. When people combine feelings of victimization with arrogance, you do get a recipe for justifying being cruel. I was trying to remember from my own experience people who fit this description from my past and remembered two sorts: 1. rebellious charismatic types who drew everyone to them 2.socially maladjusted people very clearly with 'issues'. Sometimes appearing to have an actual mental or behavioral problem needing medication or counseling.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #26
    Oberon
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    Type: ENTP

    Most admire: Capacity for self-sacrifice, and behavior consistent with it.

    Most revile: The urge to control, and behavior consistent with it.

  7. #27
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    By "breaking away from the pack" I didn't mean choosing to be alone or anything like that. I meant when people just decide they're different, special, etc, than everyone else, or when they decide to cause disharmony just for the sake of it.
    Yeah this bugs me too, but this dislike is a well-documented part of the Australian culture. It's often identified here as "the tall-poppy syndrome". However, I find it odd that you would share this dislike. Do you think it could be because of your Asian influences? I know that most Asian cultures are very group-oriented.

  8. #28
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Yeah this bugs me too, but this dislike is a well-documented part of the Australian culture. It's often identified here as "the tall-poppy syndrome". However, I find it odd that you would share this dislike. Do you think it could be because of your Asian influences? I know that most Asian cultures are very group-oriented.
    Interestingly, i understood the tall poppy syndrome to be a case where everyone in the community rejects an individual for displaying traits superior to the masses. There is pressure for gifted kids to dumb down and pretend everyone is exactly the same. The tall poppy gets cuts down. It is the environment/masses, not the 'poppy', that determines this fate. I find that angle on it horrific. My brother for example, was gifted in math. In grade school he would take classes at high school and simply had a high aptitude. Socially he was always very submissive and sensitive. As a result of this combination, he was treated like crap most of his life, and very often by teachers. His fifth grade teacher bullied him and stuffed him in a garbage can once. The whole time my brother idolized him. No one has ever allowed him to be who he is and he is broken and wrecked from it. I hate the tall poppy syndrome. It is the syndrome of the masses, not the individual. Egotism increases exponentially with the masses.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #29
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Interestingly, i understood the tall poppy syndrome to be a case where everyone in the community rejects an individual for displaying traits superior to the masses.
    This is probably how most people would define the tall poppy syndrome, and it's certainly present in Australia. However, it's broadened in this country to the point where anyone who tries to be different for the sake of being different is often looked upon with resentment and disdain ("Who does he think he is? Who's he trying to impress?"). From what I've seen (especially compared with N America), Australians tend to value independence but not individualism.

  10. #30
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    This is probably how most people would define the tall poppy syndrome, and it's certainly present in Australia. However, it's broadened in this country to the point where anyone who tries to be different for the sake of being different is often looked upon with resentment and disdain ("Who does he think he is? Who's he trying to impress?"). From what I've seen (especially compared with N America), Australians tend to value independence but not individualism.
    This discussion has diverged from niffer's reasonable comment, but it's worth exploring. What you describe is similar to small towns in the U.S. I won't live in a small town ever again because of my experiences. In my understanding the worst type of arrogance is the inability to acknowledge what is superior to oneself. The truth is there will always be someone kinder, more creative, more intelligent, more capable than 'you' (in the universal sense). The sooner a person can come to grips with that, the sooner they are operating in reality. There is nothing more arrogant than turning a blind eye, or worse ostracizing, someone with a superior trait. I realize plenty of people only imagine this superiority, and it is more justified to reject them for it if they stand alone, but group conceit is almost always present as well. It's partly why it's so offensive when an individual considers himself superior to the group. It offends the group's assumed dominance.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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