I think this might be type-related. That is probably obvious?
This is a thing that I am really good at. If a relationship goes to hell, I will generally not dwell upon it. I have approximately 60 years left to live, and I want to make those years pleasant and full of meaning. Pursuing dead ends will not take me anywhere, it is just a waste of time.
How good are the various types at cutting their losses in love, friendship, war, economics...? Basically all areas of life and interaction.
I don't mourn the dead for very long, even if it was someone close. Don't get me wrong, I feel love towards the living, but I see no point in wearing black and moping for a few years. I just can't!
Sure, there are nights when I think of the ones who have passed... But that's generally if someone brings them up in a conversation or if I wished that my grandfather would have been here to see something that would have made him proud. He was also an ENTJ and even though he died when I was little, we had a very good connection. I also have a couple of pretty close friends who have died in a snowmobile- and car accident respectively... And my best friends' mother got killed in a car accident when we were 14. We lived right next to each other for 16 years and she was almost my mother, too. I loved her, and I felt an enormous grief and shock when she passed, but it passed in a couple of weeks. Me and another friend was just a couple of hundred yards away when it happened. This is probably the worst memory I have, to see her being brought into an ambulance all bloody, with all the bones in her body broken. I am however unsettled by the fact that I recovered so quickly. I feel guilty because I don't grieve.
Am I somehow inhuman because of this?
The one exception I have is my first love that dumped me three years ago. Some of you have read about that part. I basically didn't even know romantic love before her. She also somehow awakened my empathic feelings towards her and others, made me into a real softy! I always smile when I think of her. In a way I still love her more than I do any other human being. I think that it was my persistence to join the army as well as my ignorance of her needs that caused her to break up with me. She's an INTJ, pretty close to INFJ, though. I recently started talking to her a little again. I have literally not talked to her in a couple of years, and that's kind of sad.
However, I gathered some courage and told her how much I appreciate her existence and all that she has done for me. She is somehow the only person I have really let inside. It almost killed me when she left, and it took me a couple of years to recover. I literally cried myself to sleep every single night. Well, in a way, I probably never will recover. I will always have a soft spot for her, even if I probably wouldn't engage in any kind of romance with her again, since it didn't work out. However, recent contact have made me realize how much both of us have matured since then. I am definitely curious... But I bet it's nothing. I feel as if we don't have the same connection anymore... Or as if she's shutting me out somehow. I could tell she was moved by my words, though. Losing her is quite literally the only thing that have caused me serious long-term sorrow. Does this mean I didn't love the other people that I have lost in various ways? I don't know... They sure were important to me both emotionally and practically. I've been thinking for this a long time, and I bet it doesn't make any sense to some of you.
I, and probably many of other, would like to hear your stories, too. Please keep it serious.