Holy shit. Story of my life, period.
The second child must cope with the oldest child taking away attention by outperforming him or her. The child feels inadequate, tries to overcome the feeling by choosing perfectionism in some area of life. Also, the second born feels that no one cares about how he or she feels because the oldest child clearly does not. [no I believe everyone cares first and foremost about themselves, that's not restricted to the first born.]
Consequently, to avoid pain the second born tries to suppress his or her own feelings.
Came out in unhealthy ways.
The only child has to solve the problems of how to play alone without feeling lonely and how to deal with intrusion. The child develops imaginary playmates to overcome loneliness, and two speeds for dealing with intrusion. Of the two speeds, fast is for avoiding intrusion and slow is for inviting it for the help it gives.
My only child friends keep talking to me about people intruding on them. That's pretty interesting.(for some odd reason 80% of them always are only children)
I really like Cliff Isaacson's stuff. I read both his books. He's convinced me that the Adlerian First-Middle-Baby perspective is flawed. But I'll see if that changes with my own observation regarding the baby.
I do know that I wish Isaacson had used MBTI to inform his birth order discussion. Because he'll use descriptions that are very "S" to characterize certain birth order characteristics. And of course, we 20%-of-the-population Ns won't identify with those characteristics.
I'm hoping this thread will get some traction. Viewers, please leave a post with your MBTI and your natural birth order.
If you take time to check out the birth order link, also mention if you think that you are a different personality from your natural sibling order.
I am a first born - INTJ
My second-born INFP sister was born 4 years after I was.
When I was younger I used to look up to my older bro (2 years older) but gave up as I had realised that he wasnt worth looking up to anymore. I had exceeded him (or so I thought). Not trying to be a heartless b but if I can't look up to him anymore than I can't. I didn't like how he was making decisions according to feelings. It pissed me off as they werent very logical. Venting all his anger on me was also quite annoying.
My younger brother however is quickly catching up to me which kinda pisses off as it feels good to be on top. He looks up to me like a hero but doesnt listen to everything I say. I try to teach him independence but disregards what I say. Spoiled kids kinda piss me off. I guess it's his feeling decisions that drive him to not listen to my logical decisions. Piss-off
Friends/people i know:
ENTP second out of 4.
INTJ second out of 2.
ENFP third out of 3.
ENFP sixth out of 7.
ENFP second out of two.
ESTJ first out of 3.
INFP 7th out of 7.
ISFJ second out of 7.
ESTJ first out of 7.
Cant think of more atm.
Anyways we went through this adlers concept of birth order(from which this idea is originated from) on personality psychology class, i think there is some truth to it, but i dont think it holds everytime.
Adlers concept goes something like this(what was said on slides):
First-born: favored, "me only", pseudoparent - high achieves.
Second-born: rivalry & competition.
Last-born: more pampered, "baby"-creative, rebellious, revolutionary, avant-grande
"Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
— C.G. Jung
INTJ first born, with an ISFJ second born sister. Theory doesn't seem to apply much to us, we mostly leave each other alone. "Live and let live," basically. It helps that we're already inclined to like opposite things, so we never really compete with one another.
1w9 sx/sp A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.
All that is gold does not glitter
Not all those who wander are lost