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  1. #31
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    First born- ENTP

    my second born sis is an ENFJ

    she enjoys criticizing me because she has an odd habit of perceiving everything I do as an attempt to outdo her in things, despite the fact that I really don't care to compete with anyone.

    I suppose that may fit in a way.
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #32
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erudur View Post
    Viewers, please leave a post with your MBTI and your natural birth order.
    I'll throw a wrench (me) into the works . I'm a twin who has no other siblings. I read your brief descriptions, and there really aren't any that fit. Definitely not "Only" - at the risk of sounding simplistic, *maybe* a semi-mishmash of "First" and "Second"... but not really that either.

    MBTI - me= IntP, sister=ESfJ. Neither of us is a really strong (stereotypical) example of our types, though.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #33
    Senior Member Erudur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    I don't know. I've always been a lot more focused on being 'good' at what I do than my brother. He doesn't have a competitive bone in his body. I'm always working on something. He's always playing with something.

    It sounds familiar. Brother's an INFP, I'm an INTJ.

    Then again I've heard that if the children are born more than 5 years apart, then you get another 'first' rather than anything else.
    The guy at the link would say you are both Onlys. I am the older INTJ and my brother is an INFP, but we are close in age. I wonder if this kind of forum is more represented by Onlys that other birth types. There are also slightly more Onlys than others, and probably not many Fourths in our culture.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Erudur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    I'll throw a wrench (me) into the works . I'm a twin who has no other siblings. I read your brief descriptions, and there really aren't any that fit. Definitely not "Only" - at the risk of sounding simplistic, *maybe* a semi-mishmash of "First" and "Second"... but not really that either.

    MBTI - me= IntP, sister=ESfJ. Neither of us is a really strong (stereotypical) example of our types, though.
    This guy would say you are both Onlys. Twins born later each take on one or the other of the next two types.

    I have a friend who is a twin born with an older brother. He took on the Third personality (and is also an ENFP) and his twin took on Second. My dad is a twin that took on Second and his sister took on Third (and I think she is an ExFP).

  5. #35
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erudur View Post
    This guy would say you are both Onlys. Twins born later each take on one or the other of the next two types.

    I have a friend who is a twin born with an older brother. He took on the Third personality (and is also an ENFP) and his twin took on Second. My dad is a twin that took on Second and his sister took on Third (and I think she is an ExFP).
    I think the "birth order" model just doesn't fit my situation very well (granted, it's not that common). Looking at the link that you posted, the "Only" kids are characterized by:

    Quote Originally Posted by Your Link
    The only child has to solve the problems of how to play alone without feeling lonely and how to deal with intrusion. The child develops imaginary playmates to overcome loneliness
    That's completely incorrect based on what my sister and I did as kids. We played together constantly, and I don't think either of us had imaginary friends, etc. The "First" and "Second" descriptions (granted, the web page you posted gives only brief descriptions) each have a little bit of fit, maybe (in my case, probably more as kid#2), but there really wasn't any "perceived loss of parent's love" or "kid 1 taking away attention" going on.

    There might be some truth to the birth order concept, and I can certainly see certain kids taking on certain roles in the family, but I don't think it's really as cut and dried as the Birth Order Guy believes.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #36
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    The model that I'm most familiar with works well for dysfunctional families. That pretty much includes everybody, I guess. Not sure whose it is. Satir?

    It's based on a family of six persons:

    The Addict (Edit: In place you can read this as the person whose behavior controls the rest.)
    The Enabler

    And the four children:

    Hero
    Scapegoat
    Lost Child
    Mascot

    This one works for me. The deal is that nothing is set in stone. Circumstances can cause the roles to shift. And, I believe the more dysfunctional the grouping, the more frequent the shifting/the more rigid the roles. Or both. People just won't hold still for lables, ya know.

    This family is measured on a four-point grid from rigid to chaotic; from enmeshed to disengaged. Rigidly enmeshed/rigidly disengaged; chaotically enmeshed/chaotically disengaged.

    The one certainty is that, as an art mobile, the family group will make an effort to keep a balance. Should one member leave or make personal changes the other members will make conscious or subconscious changes to balance the group once more as all roles are needed to maintain equilibrium. This can be a healthy shift or an unhealthy one.

    This is an interesting model because it seems applicable to any grouping of four, say The Beatles and their connections. Whatever. It's fun to play with.

    I'm busy right now but can elaborate further if anyone is interested.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #37
    Senior Member Doppleganger's Avatar
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    I'm a second born (ISTP), and the only part of that description that fits me is the part about suppressing feelings.
    Under Construction

  8. #38
    Senior Member Erudur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    I think the "birth order" model just doesn't fit my situation very well (granted, it's not that common). Looking at the link that you posted, the "Only" kids are characterized by:



    That's completely incorrect based on what my sister and I did as kids. We played together constantly, and I don't think either of us had imaginary friends, etc. The "First" and "Second" descriptions (granted, the web page you posted gives only brief descriptions) each have a little bit of fit, maybe (in my case, probably more as kid#2), but there really wasn't any "perceived loss of parent's love" or "kid 1 taking away attention" going on.

    There might be some truth to the birth order concept, and I can certainly see certain kids taking on certain roles in the family, but I don't think it's really as cut and dried as the Birth Order Guy believes.
    I think you are right. Neither you or your sister had to learn to cope with being alone. You two might a 6th type.

    I also think that Onlys who are not alone (i.e. Onlys that didn't transition or an Only that follows an Only or a Fourth) are not going to be as pronounced as true Onlys.

    And yea, he does see things really explicitly in the Birth Order paradigm. But it seems that most researchers tend that way in their area of research.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Pancreas's Avatar
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    Farming Style (if a farmer)
    ...

    Each birth order personality is distinct, not a blend.
    Birth order does not change once it is established.
    These just screwed it over. Well, the second one less so, but I dont think you can ever just put someone into a box that is so clearly and absolutely defined.

    Following the rules that were laid out, I cant really define myself or anyone else I know, at least off the top of my head.

    Edit: I'm ISTP, only/first (about 65-70 and 30-35%) with a younger ISXP who fits the first and second descriptions.
    Last edited by Pancreas; 01-04-2009 at 03:09 AM. Reason: more info

  10. #40
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I'm an ESTJ and I'm an only child.

    I was actually kind of offended by the whole "imaginary friend" thing. Being an only child is not so miserable as to require THAT! (unless the parent-kid relationship is bad... that would suck!) I was never lonely. It was probably my MBTI type that helped me with that, actually - I'm excellent at finding things to do, and I have been since I was very little. (My parents don't remember me being bored EVER until maybe middle school!) I'm positive, though, that my lack of siblings is the reason why I score so low on E. I was so self-reliant that I often forgot the concept of "hanging out with friends". And I wasn't so sad about it, either! Not that I disliked being with friends - it was fun... well, hopefully other only children know what I'm talking about.

    I do express my emotions very easily, but that certainly doesn't come from prior success with tantrums. My parents had no tolerance for that - I was not a spoiled kid.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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