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  1. #21
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I think I fit the description of the non-transitioned Only.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #22
    Senior Member Dansker's Avatar
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    I'm the eldest and an INTP. I relate to most of the first/only description at the link at the site.

    My brother and I were both fairly solitary children, rarely choosing to play together.

  3. #23
    Reason vs Being ragashree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erudur View Post
    I ran across this guy's stuff a year or so ago and found it fascinating. He asserts there are 5 birth order personalities:
    Only
    First
    Second
    Third
    Fourth

    The Only learns to play alone without feeling lonely, dislikes intrusion, and can be overly expressive via the positive feedback created by the tantrum.

    Each first born starts as Only and if there is a perceived loss of love by all the transition when the Second arrives, the Only transitions to First and becomes the "good" kid or the performer to win back love.

    The out-performing of the more developed First creates a coping mechanism in the Second to choose perfectionism in certain areas, critiquing others, and suppressing feelings.

    The Third copes with the critical second born by being strong and becoming fearless. The Third who fails becomes fearful.

    The Fourth responds to the rejection of the Third by trying hard.

    The Fifth is ignored by the Fourth and has Only personality...and it starts all over.

    Birth Order Plus - Intro to Birth Order

    I've noticed that Third Born has a high correlation to ENFPs. I think Onlies are more often N. Recently reading an ENFJ thread, there seems to be some correspondence to First traits.

    Thread Tally:
    Only
    1-INTJ, 1-INTP. 1-ENFP, 1-INFJ, 1-ENTP, 1-ISTP..(No apparent trend here)
    First
    Second
    1-ENTJ
    Third
    3-ENFP
    Fourth
    I always enjoy applying these family theories to my own ginormous hillbillyish set of sibs... I'm sixth out of seven... my own siblings I would type as follows:

    1: Sister: INTJ
    2: Brother: ISTP
    3: Brother (deceased): INTP
    4: Brother: ENTP
    5: Brother: INTJ
    6: Myself: INFP
    7: Sister: ISFJ

    Hmm, except for the first and fifth siblings having somewhat "only"type personalities, (INTJs, ) this doesn't really seem to stand up.
    Look into my avatar. Look deep into my avatar...

  4. #24
    Senior Member LunaIndigo's Avatar
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    I'm an only and an ENFP. I can identify with the feeling of being lonley through out childhood and had many imaginary 'siblings'.
    ENFP 4w5

  5. #25
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    I'm the youngest of 5
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
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    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #26
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    im the first born

    my sister is second and she is a textbook ESTJ
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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  7. #27
    Senior Member Erudur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ragashree View Post
    I always enjoy applying these family theories to my own ginormous hillbillyish set of sibs... I'm sixth out of seven... my own siblings I would type as follows:

    1: Sister: INTJ
    2: Brother: ISTP
    3: Brother (deceased): INTP
    4: Brother: ENTP
    5: Brother: INTJ
    6: Myself: INFP
    7: Sister: ISFJ

    Hmm, except for the first and fifth siblings having somewhat "only"type personalities, (INTJs, ) this doesn't really seem to stand up.
    This guys stuff seems really useful, but there are many factors that add complication - did the Only transition to First or not, was there an age gap that reset the process, etc. Apparently there could be a house where siblings from another family in a regular baby-sitting scenario can influence the process.

    Another thing this guy says is that birth order personality is more pronounced in the home and in stressful circumstances that bring out the coping mechanisms.

    Do you identify with one of his lists as resonating with your own personality? Its probably better to work back from there. I also found that the Third personality stands out as most obvious. These are the extremely gregarious, often thrill seeker, fearless types. If you find one of those you know the previous one was a Second, and then a First.

  8. #28
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheChosenOne View Post
    I'm 2nd born (ISTJ).
    My sister was 1st born and she's INFJ.

  9. #29
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I don't know. I've always been a lot more focused on being 'good' at what I do than my brother. He doesn't have a competitive bone in his body. I'm always working on something. He's always playing with something.

    It sounds familiar. Brother's an INFP, I'm an INTJ.

    Then again I've heard that if the children are born more than 5 years apart, then you get another 'first' rather than anything else.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  10. #30
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    I'm first born. My brother, 5 years later. Regarding attention from parents, I spent most of my time alone, by choice, aside from when I was at school or eating meals at home. I enjoyed being abnormally solitary, both before and after my brother was born. We didn't experience the competing for affection dynamic.

    In fact, I specifically attended a gifted early college program 6 hours away from home, to be more independent and distant from them. They wanted to connect with me, more than I ever did with them.

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