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  1. #121
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I don't even understand the appeal of a fabulous exciting life. I just wanted a nice husband, some healthy kids, a home of my own, and a comfortable life. Are INFJs supposed to want fabulous exciting lives?

    Nah, maybe my own feelings are probabaly coloring my response. I'M the one who really wants a fabulous, exciting life.

    What I should have said is, I think that it's easy to mistype yourself and others, and a lot of people seem to just take a few type tests and accept the results verbatim without actually reading up on what it means (for example) to have the Idealist temperament or what it means to actually be dominant Introverted iNtuition. Reading about temperament and the cognitive processes seems to be a much more useful method of learning about type preferences. Toonia's original comment struck me as so noteworthy because I tend to wonder sometimes if most people who are into typing really believe that everyone in their world has a preference for iNtuition except for a few idiots who never think for themselves. I find that really sad, especially since I come from a family of extremely intelligent Sensors. I mean, I know there are incredibly dull people out there who really don't want to think about anything but what's in front of them -- I've met them too-- but that's not what all people who prefer Sensing are like. I just felt moved to respond to the orignial post by Toonia, because it spoke to me.

    Sarah
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  2. #122
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    I tend to wonder sometimes if most people who are into typing really believe that everyone in their world has a preference for iNtuition except for a few idiots who never think for themselves. I find that really sad, especially since I come from a family of extremely intelligent Sensors. I mean, I know there are incredibly dull people out there who really don't want to think about anything but what's in front of them -- I've met them too-- but that's not what all people who prefer Sensing are like. I just felt moved to respond to the orignial post by Toonia, because it spoke to me.

    Sarah
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    Not to excuse it, but I do think a lot of the Intuitives that engage in bashing S's when they learn about type fall into this trap because most of their lives--in school, in many jobs--they've been beat up for having their head in the clouds. So they get with a bunch of Intuitives and reinforce the sudden feeling of arrival...
    edcoaching

  3. #123
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I don't even understand the appeal of a fabulous exciting life. I just wanted a nice husband, some healthy kids, a home of my own, and a comfortable life. Are INFJs supposed to want fabulous exciting lives?
    I think you just described a fabulous exciting life... at least to me. Life is only as exciting as you make it, methinks. Spending it with someone you love and all that opens up a lot of room for excitement.
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  4. #124
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    Not to excuse it, but I do think a lot of the Intuitives that engage in bashing S's when they learn about type fall into this trap because most of their lives--in school, in many jobs--they've been beat up for having their head in the clouds. So they get with a bunch of Intuitives and reinforce the sudden feeling of arrival...
    I know, I know... and believe me, it hurts me to think about all the emotional abuse that's been heaped onto iNtuitives merely because their preferences aren't that of the majority, so I can totally understand the reason for the backlash. Anyone who has ever been discriminated against or insulted for who you are has my sympathy.

    I do wish there were a more accurate way of referring to intolerant, ignorant bigots than referring to them as "Sensors," since some of us who prefer Sensing are really trying our very best to learn as much about the world as we can, which includes understanding and appreciating personality differences.

    I started reading a lot about personality type in an attempt to have a better relationship with my INFJ mother. It's never been bad between us, but I'm 37 years old and my mother is 76, and a few years ago I felt I really wanted to be ble to appreciate her as a person rather than just have a mildly pleasant surface relationship. When Mom learned about personality type at a church retreat and told me about how learning that she had a preference for iNtuition "explained so much about her", I thought I'd give personality typing another try -- I was introduced to it in college but never thought much of it back then. As a result of having finally figured out both my own and my mother's best type fit, I really believe she and I have a much closer relationship today. We seem to trust each other better now. I certainly feel more confident about my own preferences, and I also feel more respectful of hers. Maybe she senses that. (or intuits that... )

    Sarah
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  5. #125
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    I do wish there were a more accurate way of referring to intolerant, ignorant bigots than referring to them as "Sensors," since some of us who prefer Sensing are really trying our very best to learn as much about the world as we can, which includes understanding and appreciating personality differences.
    Intuitives can be intolerant, ignorant bigots as well. That's called immaturity and no type has cornered the market!!! There are plenty of fantastic Artisans and Guardians in the world. The whole theory, as Myers spun it out to be useful past the offices of psychiatrists, was focused on helping people make constructive use of differences.

    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    I started reading a lot about personality type in an attempt to have a better relationship with my INFJ mother. It's never been bad between us, but I'm 37 years old and my mother is 76, and a few years ago I felt I really wanted to be ble to appreciate her as a person rather than just have a mildly pleasant surface relationship. When Mom learned about personality type at a church retreat and told me about how learning that she had a preference for iNtuition "explained so much about her", I thought I'd give personality typing another try -- I was introduced to it in college but never thought much of it back then. As a result of having finally figured out both my own and my mother's best type fit, I really believe she and I have a much closer relationship today. We seem to trust each other better now. I certainly feel more confident about my own preferences, and I also feel more respectful of hers. Maybe she senses that. (or intuits that... )
    THAT's what type is all about. Type-bashing, type bias, etc., is just as bad as racism, etc. And it happens everywhere because people in general don't understand these normal differences among normal people and therefore resort to labeling...
    edcoaching

  6. #126
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    just go to the "INFJ or INFP " site
    INFJs forget to show their vulnerability, INFPs don't hide it enough
    I N V I C T U S

  7. #127
    Circus Maximus Sarcasticus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I don't even understand the appeal of a fabulous exciting life. I just wanted a nice husband, some healthy kids, a home of my own, and a comfortable life. Are INFJs supposed to want fabulous exciting lives?
    The INFJ in my life has led a very exciting life but paradoxically-- or rather expectedly, for an INFJ-- she needs a lot of "me" time, too.

    Maybe it has something to do with being an Enneagram One INFJ vs an Enneagram Four INFJ. There does seem to be a remarkable amount of latitude in this regard with the INFJ type.

  8. #128
    Senior Member Delphyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    I have been discussing type for about 5 years now (on another discussion group in Yahoogroups), and I can tell you how annoying it is to have people write to me personally to tell me I can't possibly have ISFP preferences because (a) I'm articulate, or (b) "Sensors don't understand about type anyway", or (c) I'm not boring them to tears, or (d) I'm thoughtful --apparently it's believed that if you prefer sensing, you can't think--, or (e) I'm "sensitive" --because apparently people believe if you prefer sensing, you can't have strong, passionate feelings either. Is it any wonder that if this is the layman's definition of what it means to prefer Sensing, then they will only notice "Sensing" in those who are acting stupid, thoughtless and boring? And that they will "type" anyone else they run into as preferring iNtuition, whether or not they actually do have that as a preference?
    At another forum I asked people how their functions manifest in their lives. An ESTP woman told me about her dominant Se function and my first impression was that it really sounded a lot like what I would call intuition. I realized that Jungs definition of intuition is not the same as how the word intuition is used in common speech. There it seems to be used in a much broader sense and can include some things Se can provide. After all Se reacts immediately to perception through the senses. The people who know their way intuitively or intuit what an animal wants, because they react to impressions gained though their senses, are likely Se users.

    What I should have said is, I think that it's easy to mistype yourself and others, and a lot of people seem to just take a few type tests and accept the results verbatim without actually reading up on what it means (for example) to have the Idealist temperament or what it means to actually be dominant Introverted iNtuition.
    Besides the mistyping I dont see what people get out of a personality system if they dont spend a little bit of time learning what the system is all about.

  9. #129
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    THAT's what type is all about. Type-bashing, type bias, etc., is just as bad as racism, etc. And it happens everywhere because people in general don't understand these normal differences among normal people and therefore resort to labeling...
    Well, it's not the same idea as racism. Racism is generalizing traits based on other unrelated traits. The whole point of MBTI is that people within a type have similar traits. If you don't like people with a certain set of traits that happen to correspond to MBTI types, it's more valid. (Though still pointless and despicable in my mind.)

    Like, if I said "I don't like people that derive their value judgments from externally visible premises", I could say that I don't like FJs or TPs, and it would be true.

  10. #130
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcasticus View Post
    The INFJ in my life has led a very exciting life but paradoxically-- or rather expectedly, for an INFJ-- she needs a lot of "me" time, too.

    Maybe it has something to do with being an Enneagram One INFJ vs an Enneagram Four INFJ. There does seem to be a remarkable amount of latitude in this regard with the INFJ type.
    True. I love to travel and will do so at nearly any opportunity, but that's not the lifestyle I chose for this season of my life. A husband and four kids doesn't allow the time, energy, or money for such things. Maybe someday. If ever I am able to travel, I know it will be nice to come back to my quiet home. As far as my daily life goes, I had enough of the bad excitement as a kid to not want it as a regular part of my life now. I'm very much enjoying the predictability and routine I've worked so hard to create. I seem to be an Enneagram Nine, FWIW.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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