I think that overall, I use an informing style, then--if I'm not at work. I hate telling people what to do.
"I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
A comic scenario of informative versus directive style is this:
My two and a half year old nephew has decided that he does not want to eat his creamed peas any more (Can we blame him?), but rather than waste them (That's unethical!) he will use them to "paint" the kitchen wall to establish his intentions as an abstract expressionist.
Nephew: *flings peas with spoon* *claps* (Clearly, an accomplishment.)
Me: *frown* No, mijo, no-no! Do NOT fling your peas senor.
Nephew: *pauses* *considers me* *eyes me daringly* *slowly lifts hand with spoon* *flings it perpendicularly as he stares me down* *squeals* *gurgles gibberish*
Me: *open-mouthed* Definite no-no! Do NOT fling your peas! You had better stop before Tia takes them away!
My ExTP brother/his father hears the yelling and comes into the kitchen...
Brother: Son! What the hell is this?! What are you doing?! Do you really think Daddy wants to clean all this up?!
Nephew: *stares blankly* *turns away bored and flings more peas*
Brother: D*mnit! Son! What's the matter with you?! That's BAD.
Me: Uh Ry, you're trying to REASON with a toddler. It's not gonna work.
Brother: *sighs exasperated* Son, are you done eating now? Are you gonna give Daddy the spoon?
Nephew: *drops spoon on the floor* *looks at us puzzled* *flings peas with fingers* *stops to pick his nose with a pea-covered finger*
Me: Oh for the love of God Ry, just take the d*mn things away from him!
Brother: Hah, oh yeah. Good idea. *chuckles*
Last edited by iwakar; 12-01-2008 at 01:21 PM.
"There is no god; there is only us. Savage and fragile."
So everybody does both how are people deciding their preference? Counting them?
I go by which one I feel most comfortable using. For me, it's directing. I've been told I'm bossy sometimes, but really, I have a hard time with the informing style because I end up fumbling the request and it comes out sounding confused and unsure. To me, directing is just more efficient and it's not meant to be bossy, I just find it faster to say "Hand me that screwdriver" than "I need a screwdriver for this thing" while looking expectantly at someone else (because then I have to wait for the gears to click in their head and process the statement). And it seems that whenever I'm in a leadership position, things tend to run more smoothly if I use a directing style, though I am a huge proponent of giving people as much information as possible about the situation before proceeding with commands (that way my commands make sense and it seems less like I'm throwing my weight around).
I do both, anyways, though. And I will temper directing statements so they sound a little more informing.
when tempered becomes...
"Shhh! It's hard to hear." (you see here there's the command, followed by information)
which when informing is...
"I can't hear what's being said, you're talking too loud."
and informing tempered by directing, but still informing, would be...
"It's hard to hear, please, keep it down." (here you have information, followed by a command)
"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
INTPs often do both. Our Ne/Ti nexus causes us to present opinion as fact. We wear our intuition on our sleeves. People often find it irritating. I personally try to limit it with varying degrees of success.
That would be interesting to see since both ENTPs and INTPs prefer to inform than direct. However Berens does offer the caveat that due to social expectations men are more apt to direct and women inform. Nevertheless with all being equal, ENTPs may be a bit more directive, but INTPs will not because they also prefer control of information instead of focusing on movement of the group.
Why are you leaving out the "Chart the Course" group? You also leave out ESTP from the "In Charge" group.
Omission because I forgot but also I think EJs tend to be more openly directive than the Chart the Course group.
I still am not getting what people are saying when they say directive. All I see are a bunch of rude demands being called directive.
Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3