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  1. #11
    Senior Member Alpha Prime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I've thought a bit about this difference--supposedly it's a difference between INFJs (directors) and INFPs (informers). Personally, I use both a lot (and probably most people who work a lot with people do, too). I prefer informing to a certain extent, but it can be ineffective and can become passive aggressive. Directing, on the other hand, can seem bossy and alienating. But sometimes Justin does need to be told to stfu and listen to Sally.
    Well said. Except for that type related stuff, which is irrelevant.
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  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    It's not what we prefer, always--it's what we need in the moment. I think that we in our teaching modes probably use more directing than we do in the rest of our lives. I am not by nature a bossy person, but when I've got a room full of fourteen year olds, there needs to be a little direction!
    A room full of fourteen year olds! A little direction is putting it mildly!
    I don't teach 14 year olds.5-10 year olds in several different classes.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    A room full of fourteen year olds! A little direction is putting it mildly!
    I don't teach 14 year olds.5-10 year olds in several different classes.
    Well - I teach 14 year-olds. But 5-10 year olds probably need fairly similar direction. Also, puppies need this same kind of direction.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  4. #14
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Did you just call your students puppies?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Did you just call your students puppies?
    Welcome to the world of analogies.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I've thought a bit about this difference--supposedly it's a difference between INFJs (directors) and INFPs (informers). Personally, I use both a lot (and probably most people who work a lot with people do, too). I prefer informing to a certain extent, but it can be ineffective and can become passive aggressive. Directing, on the other hand, can seem bossy and alienating. But sometimes Justin does need to be told to stfu and listen to Sally.
    Word.

    But yeah, with NFs particularly (though it certainly extends to others) diplomacy reigns supreme. I will use whichever is best given my priorities and the individuals I am dealing with.
    Last edited by iwakar; 11-29-2008 at 12:21 PM. Reason: Strike-through
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  7. #17
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I so don't want a potentially good thread to turn into a bunch of stereotypes.

    Directive style communicators typically group in ExxJ or in the In Charge personality quad.

    I would say I have a directive style of communication. I don't (usually...maybe sometimes) go bossing people around without regard. 'Please' and 'do you mind?' go a long way. I would look for how comfortable a person seems being in charge/leading, how willing they are to assert their opinion, how quickly they seem to reach a decision and the certainty of that decision.

    iwakar and eileen also brings up a good point. Those with directive communication styles sometimes know when to fall back, and those with informing sometimes know when to come foward. Figuring which situations need you to step up or STFU can confuse determining a communication style. I would not use work as a place to decide if someone is primarily informing vs. directive. There is an element of telling vs. asking involved but I don't think it's very easy to discern. If my boss asks me to photocopy some stuff I really don't think I can say nah I don't feel like.

    The way I figure out who's directive and informing with people is when we go out. I'll say I'm willing to do this this this and that. Some other person will say I don't care what we do. Another person will say, I'll do this and this, but not that and that. That goes on for a couple rounds and I just figured out who my directives (usually Js) and my informatives (usually Ps) are.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    "We have a meeting today at 3:00."

    "You will come to a meeting today at 3:00."
    No, the first is knowing, the second is predicting.

  9. #19
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    what would person #1s style be?

    #1 "Would you like to take the dog for a walk?"

    #2 "No. Why would I want to do that?"

    #1 *moans*

    #2 "?"

    #1 "You're grounded! Forever!"
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    what would person #1s style be?

    #1 "Would you like to take the dog for a walk?"

    #2 "No. Why would I want to do that?"

    #1 *moans*

    #2 "?"

    #1 "You're grounded! Forever!"
    That's Informative. Take the dog for a walk Haphazard.

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