Can Extraverts Be Reserved?

[Mondo]

If they have little desire to assert themselves onto their environment, little desire to influence people's decisions and actions, but have a strong desire to spend time with by other people and are easily energized by them?

 

[SillySapienne]

Yes, extroverts can definitely be reserved. When I am deep in thought or mentally asleep in boredom, I am reserved as hell.

Also, I enjoy spectating/observing people a lot, as well as listening to other people's thoughts/experiences/opinions/stories, both of which require self reservation.

 

[Siegfried]

1) Could be a low extrovert, closer to introversion, needing less external stimuli, i.e ENFP.
2) Someone who has matured as an extrovert, and his or her own internal life/individuality has becoming enriched.
3) Introverts, still need to meet people, interact, most humans need some form of discourse, even if it is not the same flavour as an extrovert.

 

[Amargith]

There are personally three reasons to get into said behavior:

1) Fear (of making a bad impression, of doing something inappropriate in an unfamiliar social situation, etc )
2) Repression: I know that if I am myself, I will get a shitload of negative attitudes tossed back at me for not being *proper*
3) The subject being discussed isn't my cup of tea and the people getting passionate about it are more interesting to observe in order to understand them better. Usually, this happens to me when I'm with my friends. They discuss the weirdest things and although I'm relaxed enough to actively join in, it's more fun to see them in action.

 

[Lady_X]

sure...i think that's why i had trouble at first knowing if i was infp or enfp...because i feel like i just adapt to the situation...i can be quiet and chill for sure...but i absolutely feed off the energy of other people.

 

[Cimarron]

Didn't see that you made this thread around the same time as I made mine. The topics are slightly different, and these are some interesting responses here.

 

[King sns]

yea, definately, when I orignally knew about this I thought I was an ISFP for a while. since i'm not running around going, "wheres the party at!!" (that is the first line in the ESFP description) and acting really dumb all the time or talking constantly, or needing constant stimulation. that would be ridiculous actually. However, I do not feel energized from being alone and in my own thoughts. I feel energized when I am around with people.

 

[Usehername]

yea, definately, when I orignally knew about this I thought I was an ISFP for a while. since i'm not running around going, "wheres the party at!!" (that is the first line in the ESFP description) and acting really dumb all the time or talking constantly, or needing constant stimulation. that would be ridiculous actually. However, I do not feel energized from being alone and in my own thoughts. I feel energized when I am around with people.

You are what is called a healthy and balanced ESFP. My sister is too. One of my co-workers is definitely of the "needing constant stimulation" type and they are energy-suckers to even mild introverts like myself.

 

[King sns]

Yes, thank-you for the compliment.. I think that "sucking the energy" out of people and annoying them is the opposite of what we're supposed to be about.. we're supposed to be entertaining and make people happy!!

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

I'm fairly reserved most of the time.

 

[Nocapszy]

What is this?
CC answered the thread. It's possible, as per CCs reservation ergo, they can be reserved.
Question answered.
Thread over.

 

[Simplexity]

Why do you have to be so mean Nocapszy.

You couldn't be a little softer in your presentation. :sad:

 

[raz]

Our society encourages the deterioration of the average ESFP. Poor things. I know some ESFP's. They're the bad ones. Loud, emotional and out of control. Combining SP with E and F is just bad.

What are some examples of ESFP's that have used their powers for good?

 

[Lightyear]

What is this?
CC answered the thread. It's possible, as per CCs reservation ergo, they can be reserved.
Question answered.
Thread over.

What is that all about?

Unnecessary.

 

[King sns]

I try to use it to give out hugs and make people giggle... the "emotional, out of control" ones are just unhappy, I think. I know some good ones, some bad.

 

[Nocapszy]

What is that all about?

Unnecessary.

Are you mocking me?

 

[Llewellyn]

This is a good place to put my remark (don't need a new thread now): I believe ENs are more quiet extraverts than ESs. It must be because of their more sensitive N-nature.

Does anyone acknowledge this? There are already some hints in this thread...

Edit: I would call EN's "semi-spontaneous"...

 

[LucrativeSid]

If a person has no desire to assert themselves onto the environment or to influence it or interact with it at all, but has a strong desire to spend time with and collect energy from other people, what the heck are going to do with that energy when they get it? It just doesn't seem very plausible for that to be a realistic situation for an extrovert. It sounds more like an introvert that is collecting mental stimulation from others through their auxiliary function so they can sit there and digest it with their dominant function. (That is, of course, assuming that it's a preferred thing for the person and not something they only do sometimes. Any person could do anything sometimes.)

I'm usually reserved at first when I'm with new people. However, I expect to become more outgoing as I get to know them. I just accept it as part of the process. If I wasn't planning on becoming more outgoing with them eventually, or if I just wasn't capable of it, I don't see why I'd still want to be with them consistently. I don't feel a magical sense of happiness just by being around other people. It can be fun to just observe sometimes, but overall, I'm more likely to want to do something, or I may just ignore them completely if I just want to think.

The funny thing is that reserved people are still capable of talking a lot. Through talking, I often become less and less reserved as I go. And I do not usually feel awkward at all. I handle myself well, but I know that I'm not fully putting myself out there out at first. Of course, being reserved, I don't go around and try to force myself to talk to everybody just to get it over with. It all happens when it happens. Whatever feels right. I'm easy to talk to, but probably not so easy to actually "connect" with.

If I think it's worth it, I will work at the appropriate rate to rid myself of my reservations so I can enjoy true and stimulating interaction. With some people, this process has taken years, with others, only 30 seconds.

 

[mlittrell]

im an extremely reserved extrovert. when its a new social situation or new environment im pretty much silent.

 

["?"]

If they have little desire to assert themselves onto their environment, little desire to influence people's decisions and actions, but have a strong desire to spend time with by other people and are easily energized by them?

This is actually how Berens would describe the interaction style of a "Get Things Going" type:

The theme is persuading and involving others. They thrive in facilitator or catalyst roles and aim to inspire others to move to action, facilitating the process. Their focus is on interaction, often with an expressive style. They Get-Things-Going with upbeat energy, enthusiasm, or excitement, which can be contagious. Exploring options and possibilities, making preparations, discovering new ideas, and sharing insights are all ways they get people moving along. They want decisions to be participative and enthusiastic, with everyone involved and engaged.

Where "In Charge" types are direct, "Get Things Going" types are informative. They prefer movement to controlling.