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  1. #1
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Default Temper/Anger issues

    I was disscussing this with a friend who claims bad tempers to be more of a feeler trait. He claims that Anger is an irrational function that coincides with the more emotive feelers.

    Honestly this sounds offensive to me as I view anger issues as a sign of immaturitty. I remember being a teenager and how I used to have a matchstick temper with people. Although, his ideas do have merrit that anger is an irrational state of mind, as it usually only happens to me on bad days where I just can't think straight anymore.

    What are your opinions on this? Personally I really don't have any solid ideas on the topic so I would most definitely enjoy your comments.

  2. #2

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    I don't know how it relates to MBTI but I don't think anger is always irrational. I think there is a continuum from withdrawn passive anger to rash outbursts. So using Aristotles Golden Mean we have passive anger a kind of cowardice and outbursts of anger a kind of rashness.
    So we have in the middle assertiveness which to me holds the tension of anger while looking for the principled solution.

  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Dunno, I think feelers and thinkers have this equally. I know some Thinkers that are easily annoyed and frustrated, and then anger isn't usually far away if they have to keep dealing with the cause of it. I dunno about other feelers, but I know that I only get angry if any other explanation of why the situation/person is reasonable is invalid. I try to give the benefit of the doubt as much as possible, so I rarely really get pissed off. On the other hand, blatant disrespect gets my blood boiling so..

    I *have* heard that women are more likely to sulk and be sad, while men, since they are not allowed to show such weakness by society, are more likely to get angry.

    Just my two cents
    Amargith
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  4. #4
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I don't know how it relates to MBTI but I don't think anger is always irrational. I think there is a continuum from withdrawn passive anger to rash outbursts. So using Aristotles Golden Mean we have passive anger a kind of cowardice and outbursts of anger a kind of rashness.
    So we have in the middle assertiveness which to me holds the tension of anger while looking for the principled solution.
    I try the assertive thing for a few seconds but someone usually manages to say something that takes me from something rationale to pure scary rage.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    I try the assertive thing for a few seconds but someone usually manages to say something that takes me from something rationale to pure scary rage.
    Try and hold the tension steady don't try to push it back or out, just hold it steady.

    Never underestimate The Power Of The Dark Side.

  6. #6
    Dali
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Try and hold the tension steady don't try to push it back or out, just hold it steady.
    During such 'irrational moments', it's bloody difficult to find that balance... but boy is it satisfying when you do.

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    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Try and hold the tension steady don't try to push it back or out, just hold it steady.

    Never underestimate The Power Of The Dark Side.
    This is really cool/interesting. I have never been able to tame the anger I just go into bursting blood vessel mode . . . go on, or if you don't want to hijack this thread you should definitely start another. I would love to learn some real anger management methods instead of the stupid little workshop crap they offer at universities.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Kora's Avatar
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    I'd better say that he difference between Thinker anger and Feeler anger is the cause, not a shorter or longer temper.
    Or the issue is between Perceiver and Judging types. I don't think is strictly related to type at all.
    5w4 - Idiosyncratic/Leisurely/Dramatic
    It's the devil's way now.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    This is really cool/interesting. I have never been able to tame the anger I just go into bursting blood vessel mode . . . go on, or if you don't want to hijack this thread you should definitely start another. I would love to learn some real anger management methods instead of the stupid little workshop crap they offer at universities.
    I don't want to sound malicious here and I'm not so I hope this comes across OK.

    I don't want to get angry at least not to show anger. If anyone is going to get angry I would like it to be the other guy while I remain calm and I wouldn't say composed but in control of the moment.

    If someone is trying to piss you off the first thing to do is step back, step back inside your mind don't let the other person pull you forward.
    Look at their objectives any leverage points you or the other person has. If they are just stating some opinion and have no leverage over you then it really means nothing and can be dismissed.

    People are free to express their opinions and you are free to take or reject them. Never argue your position. Unless you want to for fun.

    The best analogy is Judo or Aikido you are holding a constant tension while the other person up and down forward and back.
    When you see some leverage point you can choose if you take it or not.

    Is this what you were looking for?

  10. #10
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Anger doesn't work.

    Even perceived anger doesn't work.

    I have to actively try to look passive to get people to do anything for me.


    I remember it seeming to be that INTJs have a certain baseline of anger at all times. Sigh.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

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