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  1. #1
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Default Is this an EXFX thing?

    A friend told me: "I don't like having best friends, I prefer having lots of friendship". Knowing a few people will mean that she has to spend all her time with the same people. She wants deep friendships, but wouldn't it become difficult to know people on a deep level especially when your spaced out between so friends.

    Her reasoning:
    "I want to know as many people as possible so I can help them, or enhance their lives" also "That she had no one to turn to younger younger, but now wants to connect to others because she understands loneliness."
    Last edited by Snow Turtle; 11-12-2008 at 04:30 AM.

  2. #2
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Some Extroverts long for a best friend like all their life.

    But most of them do ignore that by drinking lots of alcohol
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #3
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    I don't see why this would be strictly an extravert thing... I'm willing to bet 90% of people who were asked if they wanted to have a best friend would say yes.

    Maybe your friend is rationalizing because he doesn't have a best friend. idk

  4. #4
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    Well a friend told me the other day.
    "I don't like having best friends, I prefer having groups of friendship" which sounds insane to me, considering one aspect of my life is to create deep relationships. I couldn't believe that somebody actually believed in that.

    However upon listening more...
    "I want to know as many people as possible so I can help them, or enhance their lives"

    One of the stereotypes is that extraverts have more friendships but also many which aren't as deep.

    How many extraverts actually identify with the above idea? How about introverts?
    I loath the Best Friend title - because at some point they could dump me, which means they weren't really a best friend were they? In my opinion, the only justification for deserving such a title is loyalty, but since there is no gaurantee of loyalty, none of my friends will be christened BF. I also deny the usage of such a title because I don't like choosing favourites - I appreciate the unique qualities all my friends have to offer - and I would hate to put down my other buddies by not refering to them as my BF. That being said, I do not have casual friendships, it's either all or nothin.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

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  5. #5
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    I don't see why this would be strictly an extravert thing... I'm willing to bet 90% of people who were asked if they wanted to have a best friend would say yes.

    Maybe your friend is rationalizing because he doesn't have a best friend. idk
    Well I meant, something different. But I am not ready to fully talk about it, because I do not understand it yet myself.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #6
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    I'm not fond of the whole 'best friend' thing because that favors some people over others that I would consider to be friends too.
    I prefer to make many deep relationships.
    I'll save the really deep one for the girl of my dreams,
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    D'awwwwww

  8. #8
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    I'm not fond of the whole 'best friend' thing because that favors some people over others that I would consider to be friends too.
    I prefer to make many deep relationships.
    I'll save the really deep one for the girl of my dreams,
    Yeah pretty much. Also...having ONE best friend to feel obligated to be closest with...it seems kind of restricting.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Well I'm not sure if it's an extravert thing or just an upbringing thing. It's not even best friends I'm talking about, I get the impression it also means a close group of friend (3-5 people)

    I thought that this could be one of the major reasons that extraverts try and reach out to many people, at the expense of reducing the amount of time they could spend with other close friends. Her reasoning was that she just felt lonely when she was younger, and now wants to connect to others people because she understands how lonely it was. *shrug*

    The idea's just foreign to me.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    I'm not fond of the whole 'best friend' thing because that favors some people over others that I would consider to be friends too.
    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Yeah pretty much. Also...having ONE best friend to feel obligated to be closest with...it seems kind of restricting.
    i think that your idea of best fried is veeery different of mine. when you have a best friends, it's not like you have to feel obliged to be the closest with him because you deemed him "best friend", it should all be natural.
    and i find it normal to prefer some people over others. yeah sure, i consider both X and Y my friends, but if i prefer spendinq more time with X because i get along better with him.....that's how it is.
    i don't agree with the concept of "favoring others". it's my time and not everyone is entitled to an equal share of it. it's my choice whom to spend it with, therefore i don't consider to be favoring some over others, it's only my preference of people. and of course, the whole "favoring" concept is quite arrogant, don't you think?


    hmm....i don't think i made my point really well. i had quite a lot of ideas and no idea how to organise them, but still.....

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