User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 19 of 19

Thread: "Does it fit"?

  1. #11
    beyondaurora
    Guest

    Default

    I'm resurrecting this thread because it's now a year later, and I'm still going through this endless loop!!! It's driving me crazy. I want the pieces to fit so badly, but they keep breaking apart and trying to fit elsewhere.

    Here's an example:

    Subject -- Body Shape

    "Ah, I have narrow shoulders and broad hips, so I am a 'pear'. But wait, I'm not small busted, so I can't be a 'pear'. Maybe I'm an 'hourglass'. Yeah, that sort of works. But no, I have narrow shoulders and broad hips, so I am a 'pear'. But..."

    This goes on and on and on and on. And it goes for personality typing, face shape, body shape, etc. -- anything in which I'm trying to put things into a category. I want so desperately for them to fit, and they do for a brief moment, but then they do not. It drives me crazy.

    Any other ideas on which unhealthy function/dichotomy is at play here?

  2. #12
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,002

    Default

    Fi Si?

    You are trying to figure things out based on the information that you have, and you aren't expanding on it or getting outside information from Ne.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #13
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    I'm resurrecting this thread because it's now a year later, and I'm still going through this endless loop!!! It's driving me crazy. I want the pieces to fit so badly, but they keep breaking apart and trying to fit elsewhere.

    Here's an example:

    Subject -- Body Shape

    "Ah, I have narrow shoulders and broad hips, so I am a 'pear'. But wait, I'm not small busted, so I can't be a 'pear'. Maybe I'm an 'hourglass'. Yeah, that sort of works. But no, I have narrow shoulders and broad hips, so I am a 'pear'. But..."

    This goes on and on and on and on. And it goes for personality typing, face shape, body shape, etc. -- anything in which I'm trying to put things into a category. I want so desperately for them to fit, and they do for a brief moment, but then they do not. It drives me crazy.

    Any other ideas on which unhealthy function/dichotomy is at play here?
    Sounds like you are being very rigid about how things need to fit in order to determine where to put them.

    None of the boxes will fit perfectly, and if you get into a situation where you can't decide which box you fit into because both are strong candidates, then you can tell yourself the boxes aren't right and don't apply to you, probably.

    I'm not sure what function that is, it just seems to be too-rigid thinking coupled with a desire to somehow have the framework properly honor/respect yourself and have it resonate.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #14
    beyondaurora
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Sounds like you are being very rigid about how things need to fit in order to determine where to put them.

    None of the boxes will fit perfectly, and if you get into a situation where you can't decide which box you fit into because both are strong candidates, then you can tell yourself the boxes aren't right and don't apply to you, probably.

    I'm not sure what function that is, it just seems to be too-rigid thinking coupled with a desire to somehow have the framework properly honor/respect yourself and have it resonate.
    You are correct -- I am being too rigid, but I know no other way. I can't accept that the boxes don't fit, that they "aren't right" for me. That blows my mind. That defies the purpose of the box. Why even have boxes then?!?! That makes me want to completely rebel and say "#$%@ the box! The box has failed me."

    With the body shape thing, I am naturally such a horrible dresser, having no talent for fashion at all, that I just want to 'figure it out' so that I can have a set of rules to follow and never have to think about it again.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    An INFP shouldn't give Te that much thought.

  6. #16
    beyondaurora
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    An INFP shouldn't give Te that much thought.
    Oh god, don't make me start questioning my INFP-ness now! I just finally settled on my type.

    (*whispering* So...what type would give Te that much thought? )

  7. #17
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    Oh god, don't make me start questioning my INFP-ness now! I just finally settled on my type.

    (*whispering* So...what type would give Te that much thought? )
    My point was that it's normal for you to have problems with people things in boxes since you are an INFP and Te is your inferior function.

    Also, do yourself a favor and don't buy into this MBTI bull. It poisons the mind.

  8. #18
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    You are correct -- I am being too rigid, but I know no other way. I can't accept that the boxes don't fit, that they "aren't right" for me. That blows my mind. That defies the purpose of the box. Why even have boxes then?!?! That makes me want to completely rebel and say "#$%@ the box! The box has failed me."

    With the body shape thing, I am naturally such a horrible dresser, having no talent for fashion at all, that I just want to 'figure it out' so that I can have a set of rules to follow and never have to think about it again.
    What you describe is typically Jx behavior, function-wise.
    You're splitting hairs somehow, yes.

    In the past I used to get that way with my Ti, but after awhile I just learned to N through it... like I said, realizing the boxes are arbitrary or that the subject in question is complex so chances are that no box will really ever be quite right... so then I can move from exacting logic to fuzzy logic and deal with generalities. "N" is all about big-picture... so go to the big picture.

    With Body shape, for example, just back to your primary purpose in doing it, then proceed from there. Work pragmatically. Bottom line: Body shape only "technically" matters in trying to size clothes, otherwise it's just esoteric and irrelevant. So: If your shoulders and your hips don't match, then size your top and bottom each differently.

    That's what I do. "Is this question important? If so, then why? What do I need the outcome to be?" and then I go from there. You never seem to move out of the abstracted analysis, though, and it's bewildering you. Move to a big-picture goal-driven approach to help you determine how to categorize things.

    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    (*whispering* So...what type would give Te that much thought? )
    Neurotic xNFPs.

    Look, your Te-strong types know how to use Te in order to lop things off and make arbitrary categorizations. They know how to get closure, sacrificing exactness.

    Your issues is that you are too exacting based on "definition." This is a Ji-sort of approach, and Te must be a tertiary or inferior function because it is in thrall to the exacting Ji function and thus cannot do its job appropriately -- instead, it's being abused.

    See the difference between Te being in charge, and Te being used to serve the aims of another function? Te in charge would just make the decisions and be done with them. Te in service to Fi is being used to chase after Fi's goals, but it can't do anything with them except say "no, that's not right at all."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #19
    beyondaurora
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    What you describe is typically Jx behavior, function-wise.
    You're splitting hairs somehow, yes.

    In the past I used to get that way with my Ti, but after awhile I just learned to N through it... like I said, realizing the boxes are arbitrary or that the subject in question is complex so chances are that no box will really ever be quite right... so then I can move from exacting logic to fuzzy logic and deal with generalities. "N" is all about big-picture... so go to the big picture.

    With Body shape, for example, just back to your primary purpose in doing it, then proceed from there. Work pragmatically. Bottom line: Body shape only "technically" matters in trying to size clothes, otherwise it's just esoteric and irrelevant. So: If your shoulders and your hips don't match, then size your top and bottom each differently.

    That's what I do. "Is this question important? If so, then why? What do I need the outcome to be?" and then I go from there. You never seem to move out of the abstracted analysis, though, and it's bewildering you. Move to a big-picture goal-driven approach to help you determine how to categorize things.



    Neurotic xNFPs.

    Look, your Te-strong types know how to use Te in order to lop things off and make arbitrary categorizations. They know how to get closure, sacrificing exactness.

    Your issues is that you are too exacting based on "definition." This is a Ji-sort of approach, and Te must be a tertiary or inferior function because it is in thrall to the exacting Ji function and thus cannot do its job appropriately -- instead, it's being abused.

    See the difference between Te being in charge, and Te being used to serve the aims of another function? Te in charge would just make the decisions and be done with them. Te in service to Fi is being used to chase after Fi's goals, but it can't do anything with them except say "no, that's not right at all."
    Wow, thanks, Jennifer. Makes complete sense. I admit that when I do accept that not everything fits and let go of my "definitions", I feel less stressed and actually relieved. But in the moment it seems ever-so-pertinent, and I just can't let it go! Definitely something I will be working on. Thanks again for the analysis and explanation.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] infp & estp... does it work?
    By tolzart in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 98
    Last Post: 11-16-2016, 01:39 AM
  2. Free Will, does it exist?
    By ygolo in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 09-04-2016, 10:03 AM
  3. [Ni] Ni - What does it look like in real ife?
    By INTJMom in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 10-12-2007, 05:25 PM
  4. Type xxxx - Does It Exist?
    By RansomedbyFire in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 09-26-2007, 08:32 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO