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  1. #11
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Stop trying to manipulate me!
    Who me?

    I wouldn't dare!
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  2. #12
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Ditto. In person, I bristle and will back up. Online, I hit 'Back'.
    This is good. I'm not sure my recognition of reality could withstand finding a positive feedback INTJ.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #13
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    When giving feedback a positive feedback person can give praise where a negative feedback person would feel awkward (kinda TvsF difference).

    Give a positive feedback person a project, when they finish point out what they did well and they will be all happy and go and try to do even better to get more praise (much like a dog and no I'm not happy that this works on me).

    Now do the same with a negative feedback person but instead point out where they were weak, give them their dues where they are strong but don't overplay it. Then watch them set their jaws and try to be perfect.

    Does that help?
    It helps me. I'm a negative feedback person. Positive feedback can make my eyes glaze over, but include some "objective" comments and point out where things could have been done better, and I'm all ears.

    My ISTJ husband responds best to positive feedback. Peppered with lots of superlatives.

    And how the hell did you get all those damned quotes to work for you? My posts keep getting truncated.

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  4. #14
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    It helps me. I'm a negative feedback person. Positive feedback can make my eyes glaze over, but include some "objective" comments and point out where things could have been done better, and I'm all ears.
    Yeah that sounds right. Better than I put it.

    Mind you though try dealing with an ENFJ who's negative feedback! ESP in the presence of a very positive feedback ENTJ!! Confusing!
    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    And how the hell did you get all those damned quotes to work for you? My posts keep getting truncated.
    I just copy the origional format like "{quote=Natrushka;27686}" (obviously using square brackets when I do) and close each section off with "{/quote}".

    Why what's your preferred technique
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  5. #15
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Right. I'll go get the fluffy toys and you set up the prize draw
    Do you think they're really bite, or have they gotten too crafty for us?

    AS far as I understand it you could tell a positive feedback person they they were brilliant with little cause to and they would respond positively to this. If you tried the same with a negative feedback person (cough.. Raincrow... cough) you may be fed your compliment intravenously or alternatively they may simply ignore it.
    Oh. Yes, that makes sense. My ESFP son is a positive feedback person (you need to feed him encouragement and positive comments even when he is being a complete irresponsible blowoff, or he gets depressed and stops trying completely), whereas I am skeptical of encouraging comments -- not cynical, just skeptical.

    I remember as a child being just the same way. Most compliments seemed ill-founded to me, while I took criticism to heart.

    Give a positive feedback person a project, when they finish point out what they did well and they will be all happy and go and try to do even better to get more praise (much like a dog and no I'm not happy that this works on me).
    Oh, what a wonderful concept, Xander! You were so brilliant to think of it! Gosh, I am so lucky to know you! Do you have any other good ideas that crossed your mind recently, oh, I would love to hear them!

    <gets out notepad and pen, studies Xander's response carefully>

    Now do the same with a negative feedback person but instead point out where they were weak, give them their dues where they are strong but don't overplay it. Then watch them set their jaws and try to be perfect.
    Yes, that part. That's it. Most of my life has been a drive to be perfect (and/or at least beyond reproach).

    Mental note :- DO NOT pinch Jennifer's ass.
    I was fully expecting that comment from SOMEONE... just not the first person who posted!!

    Disclaimer: In the case of asses, I'm willing to make an exception to the above rules: Affirm my ass as much as you like, while avoiding critical commentary.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #16
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    I suspect it's the browser. I will not use IE, however. </principle>

    My BIL is an ENFJ, I'd peg him positive feedback. But I can't be sure. He drives me nuts, so I'd rather not have to find out....

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  7. #17
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I live for pats on the head. If Don fails to pat me at the necessary times I remind him. He's getting pretty good at it. Everybody's happier that way.

    He does not like pats on the head, so I keep my praise for him very low key. Otherwise, he seems to feel his autonomy threatened and stops doing what I'm praising him for. I also pretend I don't notice he's doing a mundane task I want done until it's done (the autonomy thing again or something) unless he asks me for help.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #18
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    You mean that ass comes in affirm version too?


    Now there's negative feedback up the whazoo
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  9. #19
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    He does not like pats on the head, so I keep my praise for him very low key. Otherwise, he seems to feel his autonomy threatened and stops doing what I'm praising him for. I also pretend I don't notice he's doing a mundane task I want done until it's done (the autonomy thing again or something) unless he asks me for help.
    It sounds like you are getting pretty good at figuring him out too!

    I have the same quirks -- if someone makes a big deal out of something I have done (when I didn't think it was a big deal), I am prone not to do it again. And I don't know how many times I have struggled with doing something I had already planned to do... just because C asked me to do it before I could start doing it on my own. (It no longer seems like my idea again -- yes, the autonomy thing!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    You mean that ass comes in affirm version too?
    Hey, I have to use what assets I have!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #20
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    I was wondering if this was a common worry for Ts. Do you check/ double take to see why you'd done it and why such a simple gesture had such vast effect? Is there a similar play in reverse? (as in is there something's that Fs do which Ts find great and leaves the F sitting there scratching their bonce to try and figure out what the big deal is)
    I am generally well aware of my motives for doing things, ulterior or otherwise, so I don't double check unless something weird happens.

    If someone does/says something above and beyond for/to me and it appears out of place, I question their motives.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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