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  1. #1
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Default ISTPs, INTPs and "Words of Affirmation"

    Do any of you Ti dominant types have words of affirmation as your love language?

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    No.

    I don't even think I have one of those silly "love languages."

    Every time I see that nutty list, it's "meh" all over again.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    No.

    I don't even think I have one of those silly "love languages."

    Every time I see that nutty list, it's "meh" all over again.
    Have you ever seen more than the list? It doesn't really make much sense unless you've read a bit about each one.

    Also, while the 5 languages theory may not always hold true in every instance the idea behind it is crucial for a healthy relationship; we need to know what communicates love to our loved ones or else they won't feel loved. So IMO it's not silly at all.

    My ISTP brother's love language is physical touch.

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Have you ever seen more than the list? It doesn't really make much sense unless you've read a bit about each one.
    Yes, dear -- I read the books years ago.
    The list is not comprehensive.

    Coming up through Christian circles, I also got tired of everyone bringing it up like it was as profound as Kierkegaard.

    Some people just don't fit the categories, and it was annoying to have people try to force me to be in one.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    How do you escape having one language or the other (words, touch, being of service or or quality time or gifts)? What are some of the ways it leaves out?
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  6. #6
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    They aren't comprehensive.
    Indeed.

    However, the languages can be learnt, which tells me that it is a good start for learning how to show love and mutual respect. I found it helpful for pulling away from myself and asking "If I was with myself, how would I feel? How can I show it better?".

    In my eyes, it's a how-to self-help book. Nothing robust, but good enough if one desires to change and is willing to make the effort.


    edit: For the OP - As a Ti dominant, it didn't come naturally, but I did do it a little already. I've learnt to do it a lot more since then.

  7. #7
    Fe, rusted. Poser's Avatar
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    OMG. My wife just made me read this book. Was it wrong of me to lie and say mine was "physical touch"?


  8. #8
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yes, dear -- I read the books years ago.
    The list is not comprehensive.

    Coming up through Christian circles, I also got tired of everyone bringing it up like it was as profound as Kierkegaard.

    Some people just don't fit the categories, and it was annoying to have people try to force me to be in one.
    I'm sure that must have been annoying. I'm sorry to hear that.

    I hope you don't think I'm trying to force people into categories. I'm not. I'm just wondering because I see a pattern...none of the Ti dominants I know have or even like words of affirmation much.

    And I dunno about profound but I've found this stuff very useful.

  9. #9
    Fe, rusted. Poser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    I hope you don't think I'm trying to force people into categories. I'm not. I'm just wondering because I see a pattern...none of the Ti dominants I know have or even like words of affirmation much.

    And I dunno about profound but I've found this stuff very usefull.
    My real one was words of affirmation. But really, more so because none of the others fit.


  10. #10
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    My real one was words of affirmation. But really, more so because none of the others fit.
    Okay so much for that pattern.

    Um are there other things that make you feel much more loved than words?

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