Opposite type parents

[FFF]

I missed this thread when it was new. I think my mom is an ESFJ and my dad is an INTP like me. Just for a little added analysis, I have two older brothers that are ENTJ (oldest) and INTJ.

My mom was prone to emotional outbursts, and I think part of the reinforcement for such a behavior was the way it let her control anything she wanted to. Since my dad is INTP, he's high in type 9 and tends to want to avoid conflict. Also, he has the weakest interaction style, behind the scenes, so he generally doesn't want to lead anyway. I still wonder why they got married, and all I can do is guess.

Anyway, I've always had to stay distant from my mom because of the above mentioned problem. I've heard some kids blame themselves for their parents problems. I always thought there was something wrong with my mom. Other than that, things were okay with my mom when I was a child, but it's hard to rely on someone or disclose something to someone who's prone to becoming irrational and verbally abusive.

When I became a teenager, I switched from the little Catholic school I had been attending since kindergarten to the largest public school in the state. I also ended up switching from Catholic to atheist with my INTJ brother without letting mom know. My brothers and I also had our secret drug use going on. I didn't have many friends at the time, and I was known for keeping to myself if I couldn't do something with one of my brothers.

Then we moved about an hour and a half away, and I ended up with no friends nearby and no friends at school either. That's also when we happened to get an internet connection. I spent lots of time by myself and on the computer, and I was really secretive. It just wasn't worth sharing stuff if you're gonna get "that's weird!" from mom, annoying antics and responses from dad, and/or criticism from your brothers.

Overall, my mom seemed to not understand spending lots of time alone and not wanting to be open with her and talk about problems and stuff. If my problems become her problems and she can't handle problems without going crazy, then I'd rather keep them to myself.

I was an atheist, and it was okay to hate. So I hated my mom for being the way she was, and I hated dad for letting her control him all the time.

When college came around, I became a Christian, and one day I decided to go visit a Pentecostal church that I was invited to. When I was leaving and I told mom she was like, "Wait, you can't just change religions." I didn't anticipate that, so I just spouted off some stuff about how Catholicism is dumb then left. I wonder how trying to raise three Catholics boys, and ending up with none of them affected her and her SJ self. Sorry, mom, we're NT's, and we can think for ourselves.

These days I live with my brothers in another city, and we hardly ever contact our parents unless there's a problem. It's just really weird and uncomfortable talking to them just to talk. Especially, if that would be the purpose for calling.

[Hang]

Mom: ENTP
Dad: ISFJ

My parents are the complete opposites of each other.
I am an INFJ.
Mother doesn't pay attention to me, only in front of others as an act.
Father never told me he loved me. But I feel that he wants to but just shy. I had a strong bond with Father when I was much younger, but since I'm grown up now he feels that it's a bit pointless to get to know each other now. He's a devoted husband. Even when my Mother puts him down. They don't monitor what I do, that is why I love them.

[arcticangel02]

My brother is an INFP and my dad is an ESTJ. They get along better than one would expect, but then again dad's a pretty healthy, well-rounded ESTJ.

My brother is not exactly a model child, in my dad's eyes, and frequently frustrates him with not doing his jobs or spending too much time in his room/on the playstation. But they're both interested in sport, which gives them some common ground and I think that's a huge help.

[Orangey]

Mom: INTJ
Dad: INTP

Long story short, I argue with my dad all the time, and my mom is a control freak.

[MEC]

Originally Posted by Hang

Mom: ENTP
Dad: ISFJ

My parents are the complete opposites of each other.
I am an INFJ.
Mother doesn't pay attention to me, only in front of others as an act.
Father never told me he loved me. But I feel that he wants to but just shy. I had a strong bond with Father when I was much younger, but since I'm grown up now he feels that it's a bit pointless to get to know each other now. He's a devoted husband. Even when my Mother puts him down. They don't monitor what I do, that is why I love them.

This ISFJ doesn't say I love you either but shows it by the thing they do for you,we are shy and find it hard to show affection as our kids get older.

[animenagai]

mom's an ISXJ. we're basically opposites. i feel like she has pulled the worse bits out of T/F. she's not afraid to say what's on her mind (in fact she finds it hard not to), but when someone argues with her, she takes it personally. god that gets annoying.

that SJ is so hard to understand too. i constantly feel that she wants me to do stuff just because it's what someone else (particularly her cousins etc.) said. she finds it hard to understand any of my justifications and sees it as a challenge against her authority.

i remember this day when she was gonna give me a drive down to wellington so i can meet up with a friend for a journey to the south island. i had my bulky backpack with me, and i knew i was gonna eat during the ride so i told her that i should move to the back seat so i wouldn't get in her way. she went absolutely NUTS at me! "that's rude!" "you're assuming that the driver's a chauffeur and that she is inferior to you!'. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT i did! all i wanted was to give her an easier time, but when she spilled that crap on me, i had to argue back. all she kept saying was 'ask your uncle if you don't believe me' etc. pointing to other points of 'authority' and not tacking the issue itself. i wanted to sort this shit out with her but she kept on saying "don't talk about it, you'll just put me in a bad driving mood'. i so wanted to strangle her .

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... communication is just so hard with her. i never do anything with bad intentions, which pisses me off even more when she thinks i'm some sort of bad egg. doesn't get sarcasm either, which has gotten me in a A LOT of shit.

[Haphazard]

Mom: ISFJ
Dad: INTP

My mother and I get along somewhat, although she thinks I'm messy and something of a lunatic deep down. Then again, she's easy to converse with, and seems to have most of her priorities straight. The point is, even if we can't get along all the time, I can at least respect her.

I would probably ignore my dad all the time if he just sat on the couch doing nothing, but from it he keeps yelling at me to do stuff for him when he could very well just get up and do it himself. He does this to my mother, too. Somehow, he thinks he can run the household by doing absolutely nothing. Naturally, I resent him, even though we would be closer 'typewise' than me and my mother.