Help me type my mother

[welshlass]

If you please. I will list her good qualities & bad points. I dont know if personal appearance has much to do with Type but i thought a mental picture might help? Erm...If it doesnt, just ignore those bits. Here goes:-

She's in her early 60s, dresses smart, looks good for her age.
Holds grudges & has a very long memory.
Re the above; when in conflict she doesnt usually confront those who have displeased her with something they did way back in the past but she does pass on her thoughts to me & other close & trusted members of family.
Is pleasant, polite & talkative in company of strangers.
Is almost always late getting to places; a lot of which is due to circumstances beyond her control, but she is terrible for deciding what to wear; "Does this go with this, does this look a bit shabby, what earrings shall i wear" etc.
Re the above; i tell her nobody really cares if your ensemble is matching & she says "Well, i do".
She is critical & nit picky eg she'll see what someone has NOT done rather than what they have.
She speaks as she finds.
Quite often she'll get up on her soapbox re subjects she's passionate about.
She's always trying to figure people out & one of her favourite sayings is "it's a funny old world".
She's sociable in company but fairly quiet & laid back when you get her on her own.
She is a very good cook, & (was) a very good sketcher (i've seen her drawings from art class from many years ago).
Re the above; i can back up the good cook bit as that's part of her business.
Was in a 20+ yr physcologically (mainly) & physically abusive relationship which she spent trying to understand why her partner was like he was, taking him back after his most violent outburst before finally getting a divorce over a year ago.
Does not want a relationship (see above!).
Has a lack of confidence in many things & i'm beginning to understand that it might be the reason she used to get so frustrated with me when i was young cos maybe she was seeing herself in me?
Has for most of her working life been self-employed; for most of it as a store detective.
She has great attention to detail eg when i was a kid & i used to sneak into her bedroom to play with her makeup she'd know i'd been in there no matter how painstakingly i'd put things back where they were in the first place.
When a newsreader is on telly she'll comment about their appearance not about the news they're reading.
When there is conflict she is more likely to remain silent as she finds she can't get out what she wants to say (but does think of what she could have said days later!).
She tends to hold her emotions in & prefers not to cry even in front of those close to her (she tends to fight it back if she starts).
She has a very good singing voice & could play piano by ear (chords, notes, the lot) when she was a child.
Her paperwork is all over the place but she knows where to find things.
When she has a plan she'll discuss it with those she trusts & she will follow through with it.
She wanted to be a fashion designer when she left school.
She has been married 3 times & for the last 2 i'd say she was the emotionally stronger in the relationships (she is a strong woman anyway).
Retail therapy; clothes shopping, especially when stressed.

[observer84]

Originally Posted by welshlass

If you please. I will list her good qualities & bad points. I dont know if personal appearance has much to do with Type but i thought a mental picture might help? Erm...If it doesnt, just ignore those bits. Here goes:-

She's in her early 60s, dresses smart, looks good for her age.E and S
Holds grudges & has a very long memory.Si
Re the above; when in conflict she doesnt usually confront those who have displeased her with something they did way back in the past but she does pass on her thoughts to me & other close & trusted members of family.Fe
Is pleasant, polite & talkative in company of strangers.Fe
Is almost always late getting to places; a lot of which is due to circumstances beyond her control, but she is terrible for deciding what to wear; "Does this go with this, does this look a bit shabby, what earrings shall i wear" etc.might go P here, but I think this is because she is concerned about outward appearance and making sure everything is in order
Re the above; i tell her nobody really cares if your ensemble is matching & she says "Well, i do".S
She is critical & nit picky eg she'll see what someone has NOT done rather than what they have.This one SCREAMS Si
She speaks as she finds.T and S
Quite often she'll get up on her soapbox re subjects she's passionate about.maybe Fe?
She's always trying to figure people out & one of her favourite sayings is "it's a funny old world".Fe
She's sociable in company but fairly quiet & laid back when you get her on her own.suggesting Fe secondary function
She is a very good cook, & (was) a very good sketcher (i've seen her drawings from art class from many years ago).???
Re the above; i can back up the good cook bit as that's part of her business.
Was in a 20+ yr physcologically (mainly) & physically abusive relationship which she spent trying to understand why her partner was like he was, taking him back after his most violent outburst before finally getting a divorce over a year ago.Fe
Does not want a relationship (see above!).T?
Has a lack of confidence in many things & i'm beginning to understand that it might be the reason she used to get so frustrated with me when i was young cos maybe she was seeing herself in me?F
Has for most of her working life been self-employed; for most of it as a store detective.K so far I think she's a guardian
She has great attention to detail eg when i was a kid & i used to sneak into her bedroom to play with her makeup she'd know i'd been in there no matter how painstakingly i'd put things back where they were in the first place.Si
When a newsreader is on telly she'll comment about their appearance not about the news they're reading.E and S
When there is conflict she is more likely to remain silent as she finds she can't get out what she wants to say (but does think of what she could have said days later!).Fi
She tends to hold her emotions in & prefers not to cry even in front of those close to her (she tends to fight it back if she starts).F
She has a very good singing voice & could play piano by ear (chords, notes, the lot) when she was a child.?
Her paperwork is all over the place but she knows where to find things.P
When she has a plan she'll discuss it with those she trusts & she will follow through with it.Fe
She wanted to be a fashion designer when she left school.SP
She has been married 3 times & for the last 2 i'd say she was the emotionally stronger in the relationships (she is a strong woman anyway).
Retail therapy; clothes shopping, especially when stressed.SP

Okay for the first part of it, I thought she might be SiFe which would make her ISFJ. Maybe ESFJ (FeSi).

Toward the end of it, I thought she might be an Artisan. But she seems to care very much what people think of her, and how her actions can make others happy. This is very Fe, as is having a low self-esteem when she fails to fix the well-being of others.

The biggest thing about ISFJs are taking good care and being concerned for the well-being of others within your close circle. They are sensitive to conflict and hold in their own emotions, because they are so immersed in taking care of others'. They enjoy traditions.

ESFJs are really good at organizing and spearheading family events. Always have a plan for the good of the group. Very Martha Stewart. Pretty judgmental and hold grudges, though, but tend to enable and forgive the people they inwardly criticize. Always take into consideration other's opinions and wishes.

[rhinosaur]

First impression from your description: ENFJ
Possibly ESFJ

I don't think she's an introvert.

[observer84]

Originally Posted by rhinosaur

First impression from your description: ENFJ
Possibly ESFJ

I don't think she's an introvert.

I have not met many ENFJs in person. The one I do know is your typical "renaissance man." He loves to talk about things he's learned and is a good teacher. He's a chemical engineer, pianist/guitarist/vocalist, builds things in his spare time, knows something about everything. Wears his emotions on his sleeve and just bubbles over with enthusiasm when a new exciting thing comes along.

[welshlass]

I should have also included her disorganised organising! Whenever there is a big social function she has to prepare for things never go straightforward & she goes into panic mode & can be quite short but somehow (with help of course) she manages to pull it all together on the day. She is also quite happy (& generally prefers) to work behind the scenes even though she is the boss. I have actually been suspecting an F & possibly an N but i was never sure on the I or E; although i suspect more E as she is too friendly & open to be I (apologies to any friendly Is). She doesnt forgive easily; once she says she wont forgive that's it. She may rebuild bridges with them but the grudge will forever be there. I know one that's lasted for over 35 yrs & she even brings it up from time to time.

[observer84]

Originally Posted by welshlass

I should have also included her disorganised organising! Whenever there is a big social function she has to prepare for things never go straightforward & she goes into panic mode & can be quite short but somehow (with help of course) she manages to pull it all together on the day. She is also quite happy (& generally prefers) to work behind the scenes even though she is the boss. I have actually been suspecting an F & possibly an N but i was never sure on the I or E; although i suspect more E as she is too friendly & open to be I (apologies to any friendly Is). She doesnt forgive easily; once she says she wont forgive that's it. She may rebuild bridges with them but the grudge will forever be there. I know one that's lasted for over 35 yrs & she even brings it up from time to time.

I'm going to say ESFJ, still. You see, they do panic because they feel like they cannot control everything and social functions deal with people who are unpredictable. My aunt is ESFJ and it sounds like her to a T, actually. Also, SJ's tend to complain a lot, FYI, in a passive-aggressive manner, hence avoiding conflict at hand but bitching to you about it later. ESFJ make great hostesses, and prefer running the show (being boss). They have a hard time sitting still when there is something to be done to prepare.

[Edahn]

How to type "my mother," in two easy steps:

1.



2.

[welshlass]

Originally Posted by Edahn

How to type "my mother," in two easy steps:

1.



2.

Ha. Ha.

[welshlass]

Thanks for all the suggestions, folks. But guess what. I got her to take an online test & she ends up INFP (50/50 on the Introversion & Extroversion).