My Experiences With Introversion

Heero · 10-11-2007, 10:27 PM

My god! I wasn't going to write this thread, but something just, wow, a realization hit me.

I am a math and computer science major, I am an INTP. I am an introvert, but I have sufficient social skills to get by in life, I actually -ENJOY- talking to people under the proper conditions, and in some conditions can even be the "life of the party" granted only a very specific type of party. I enjoy talking about math, computers, areas I'm interested in, even with strangers, but only when I feel comfortable enough to do so (a lot of that is my perception of the person, admittedly). This being said, most people don't want to talk about such things. The only time I really talk about other stuff is with people I have had the time to get closely acquainted with. I've noticed I don't have a multi-ring approach with people, where I'm close to a select few then have lots of people I hang out with anyways, instead I have the close few I talk to regularly and sometimes hang out with, and the rest I only talk to very occasionally, and hardly ever am around.

Well, I ran into a few of these such people today, it was pleasant enough, and we'd had conversations in passing about things. The problem though is that they ate with me, a time of small talk and nothing but. I didn't feel comfortable enough to speak frankly or as I would if I was one on one with someone, perhaps if I had been in a more jubilant mood I might have, and if it hadn't been two people. In any event, as I said, I have social skills, so I did just fine, small talk and whatnot, but it was really actually stressful. All of it.

At the end of it, I realized, I had a test today, and another one last week, in high level math courses, I've had other tests on a shit load of subjects during my education. I have never feared a test or been more emotionally or physically stressed during a test as I was during those 15 minutes of social interaction.

15 minutes.

15 fucking minutes.

It isn't being anti-social, and I was fine, I didn't have a panic attack, not like that, it was just, yea, I didn't enjoy it at all, I despised it on every level, not because of the people, but because of the discomfort.

I wish people would realize alone != lonely.

Anyone else had small events like this that sort of just emphasized how introverted they were to themselves? I knew before of course, but it just sort of hit me, how much I really couldn't stand certain types of social occasions, to the extent I would do a great deal to just avoid them entirely.

Kyrielle · 10-12-2007, 12:08 AM

Oh yea, I've had plenty of moments like that. One recent one was an invitation to a meeting in my resident advisor's apartment. Apparently everyone was supposed to meet there and get to know each other. I went with one of my roommates, and even though she was there (and I feel quite fine and comfortable around her and everyone I live with atm), I felt like I was going to be sick from nervousness. I think she felt the same way, because she got out of there pretty quickly. It was all small talk, and while I thought the people were just fine, I didn't feel very good sitting in someone else's home surrounded by people I didn't know or have very much interest in at that moment...all while feeling trapped, because I didn't want to be rude and seem avoidant by leaving so quickly.

Kiddo · 10-12-2007, 01:30 AM

I used to eat in the cafeteria at my college and friends would invite me over to their table to eat to which I would decline and then get a weird stare. I just don't like eating with other people.

Today I got into a long discussion with a friend, which involved far more talking than I'm use to and after my friend left, I noticed I was brain dead. I couldn't get back into my introspective frame of mind and I felt like I was just stuck in the real world and drifting around completely thoughtless. It was a weird and scary feeling, and I think it had to do with expending so much energy conversing and grabbing whatever thought came to mind.

creativeRhino · 10-12-2007, 10:50 AM

Oh, my time in cubicle land was hell - inane small talk running on and off all day. There were hundreds of more interesting things that could have been the subjects..... but no, they had to talk weather, football, cars, recipies etc.

arrrrrgh

Now at least (back at study) I can opt out and shift around in my environment much more easily.

Mycroft · 10-12-2007, 01:14 PM

Participating in small talk makes me feel like a computer running emulation software - I can do it competently, it's just processor-intensive.

FFF · 10-13-2007, 06:57 AM

I think the more introverted you are, the lower your tolerance for dealing with annoying people. If you're INTP, you don't even care too much what others think, so you also don't have that motivating you to deal with them. Really annoying people make me have to spend a lot of time by myself to recharge.

hotmale · 10-13-2007, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImNotTooPopular

I think the more introverted you are, the lower your tolerance for dealing with annoying people. If you're INTP, you don't even care too much what others think, so you also don't have that motivating you to deal with them. Really annoying people make me have to spend a lot of time by myself to recharge.

You bring up a really good point- which is why those people spend all their time on the internet pretending to be popular.

FFF · 10-13-2007, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotmale

You bring up a really good point- which is why those people spend all their time on the internet pretending to be popular.

Well, at least we know I'M not pretending to be popular.

Aven · 10-15-2007, 12:13 AM

Yes, off an on, it's more of a...for some reason people tend to like me to be around, that can really really get to me after a while, specially if I don't really care for what they are talking about.

Truth is nowadays I just avoid people more than ever before, I can certainly be extroverted, many people actually think I am, but it's only under the right circumstances.

Otherwise I'm fine by myself.

Heero · 10-15-2007, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImNotTooPopular

I think the more introverted you are, the lower your tolerance for dealing with annoying people. If you're INTP, you don't even care too much what others think, so you also don't have that motivating you to deal with them. Really annoying people make me have to spend a lot of time by myself to recharge.

It isn't about annoying or not annoying, it's about just people in general. I realized it stressed me out, just not how much, man. I'm not complaining, just commenting really, I don't really care other than in a bemused sort of way.

10-11-2007, 10:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Heero Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Type: ITNP Posts: 16	My Experiences With Introversion My god! I wasn't going to write this thread, but something just, wow, a realization hit me. I am a math and computer science major, I am an INTP. I am an introvert, but I have sufficient social skills to get by in life, I actually -ENJOY- talking to people under the proper conditions, and in some conditions can even be the "life of the party" granted only a very specific type of party. I enjoy talking about math, computers, areas I'm interested in, even with strangers, but only when I feel comfortable enough to do so (a lot of that is my perception of the person, admittedly). This being said, most people don't want to talk about such things. The only time I really talk about other stuff is with people I have had the time to get closely acquainted with. I've noticed I don't have a multi-ring approach with people, where I'm close to a select few then have lots of people I hang out with anyways, instead I have the close few I talk to regularly and sometimes hang out with, and the rest I only talk to very occasionally, and hardly ever am around. Well, I ran into a few of these such people today, it was pleasant enough, and we'd had conversations in passing about things. The problem though is that they ate with me, a time of small talk and nothing but. I didn't feel comfortable enough to speak frankly or as I would if I was one on one with someone, perhaps if I had been in a more jubilant mood I might have, and if it hadn't been two people. In any event, as I said, I have social skills, so I did just fine, small talk and whatnot, but it was really actually stressful. All of it. At the end of it, I realized, I had a test today, and another one last week, in high level math courses, I've had other tests on a shit load of subjects during my education. I have never feared a test or been more emotionally or physically stressed during a test as I was during those 15 minutes of social interaction. 15 minutes. 15 fucking minutes. It isn't being anti-social, and I was fine, I didn't have a panic attack, not like that, it was just, yea, I didn't enjoy it at all, I despised it on every level, not because of the people, but because of the discomfort. I wish people would realize alone != lonely. Anyone else had small events like this that sort of just emphasized how introverted they were to themselves? I knew before of course, but it just sort of hit me, how much I really couldn't stand certain types of social occasions, to the extent I would do a great deal to just avoid them entirely. __________________ Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance.

10-12-2007, 01:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mycroft The elder Holmes Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INTJ Posts: 847	Participating in small talk makes me feel like a computer running emulation software - I can do it competently, it's just processor-intensive. __________________ Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

10-15-2007, 12:13 AM	#9 (permalink)
Aven Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: INTP Posts: 66	Yes, off an on, it's more of a...for some reason people tend to like me to be around, that can really really get to me after a while, specially if I don't really care for what they are talking about. Truth is nowadays I just avoid people more than ever before, I can certainly be extroverted, many people actually think I am, but it's only under the right circumstances. Otherwise I'm fine by myself. __________________ Deja que pasemos sin miedo.

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10-12-2007, 12:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
Kyrielle Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: INFJ Location: Marietta/Savannah, GA Posts: 1,094	Oh yea, I've had plenty of moments like that. One recent one was an invitation to a meeting in my resident advisor's apartment. Apparently everyone was supposed to meet there and get to know each other. I went with one of my roommates, and even though she was there (and I feel quite fine and comfortable around her and everyone I live with atm), I felt like I was going to be sick from nervousness. I think she felt the same way, because she got out of there pretty quickly. It was all small talk, and while I thought the people were just fine, I didn't feel very good sitting in someone else's home surrounded by people I didn't know or have very much interest in at that moment...all while feeling trapped, because I didn't want to be rude and seem avoidant by leaving so quickly.

10-12-2007, 01:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
Kiddo Furry Critter with Claws Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: OMNi Posts: 2,800	I used to eat in the cafeteria at my college and friends would invite me over to their table to eat to which I would decline and then get a weird stare. I just don't like eating with other people. Today I got into a long discussion with a friend, which involved far more talking than I'm use to and after my friend left, I noticed I was brain dead. I couldn't get back into my introspective frame of mind and I felt like I was just stuck in the real world and drifting around completely thoughtless. It was a weird and scary feeling, and I think it had to do with expending so much energy conversing and grabbing whatever thought came to mind.

10-12-2007, 10:50 AM	#4 (permalink)
creativeRhino Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: INTJ Location: Australia Posts: 113	Oh, my time in cubicle land was hell - inane small talk running on and off all day. There were hundreds of more interesting things that could have been the subjects..... but no, they had to talk weather, football, cars, recipies etc. arrrrrgh Now at least (back at study) I can opt out and shift around in my environment much more easily.

10-13-2007, 06:57 AM	#6 (permalink)
FFF Five Factor Fan Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: IN?P Location: Louisiana Posts: 687	I think the more introverted you are, the lower your tolerance for dealing with annoying people. If you're INTP, you don't even care too much what others think, so you also don't have that motivating you to deal with them. Really annoying people make me have to spend a lot of time by myself to recharge.