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Thread: Fe put-downs

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    Senior Member Array The Great One's Avatar
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    Default Fe put-downs

    Is it just me or is it very common for Fe users to use what I like to call, "Fe put-downs". Now what I define as an Fe put-down, is basically a put-down that undermines the character of another person for doing something out of the ordinary, or something that is considered socially strange, or awkward. I've noticed that this is VERY common amongst the ESTP types more than any other types. I've also noticed that a lot of ESFJs do this as well, and even some ENTP's and ENFJs. What I have noticed though, is that it seems to be an Fe user thing. For instance, I don't ever see many Fi users doing it, except on some occasions I may see ESFP's doing it. I have never seen one ENFP or an INTJ do this in my entire life.

    Now to be more clear as to what Fe put downs are, I will give you a couple of scenarios where Fe put downs might be used. For instance, let's say a man is wearing a very loud and flamboyant shirt like one that may have been worn by Will Smith in "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". I've noticed that it's very common for Fe users to say stuff like, "Who wears those kinds of shirts anymore?" and "The 90's called, and they want their shirt back". Another example of this may involve a situation where you have a man who gets manicures from nail salons. I've noticed that it's not uncommon for Fe users to say stuff like, "What the hell? What kind of man gets his nails done? What are you gay or something?" The final scenario that I will use is like a woman who decides to go into the field of construction (a field mostly dominated by men). It would be common for Fe users to say things like, "What are you gonna be a construction worker for? That's a man's job."

    Now you may be thinking to yourself, "What the hell are you talking about? Those are just typical insults. Everyone uses insults and you are just a dumb ass for writing a thread like this one." However, the key difference between regular put-downs, and Fe put-downs is that it involves a lack of the following of certain social standards that Fe presents in an individual. Fi users on the other hand tend to be so much more individualistic and kind of do their own thing in life, and say, "To hell with social standards". Anyway these are the patterns that I have noticed. Do you agree with my theory or am I incorrect?

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    Post-Humorously Array stalemate's Avatar
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    I work with the most ESFJ woman I can imagine existing, and she has done things like this to me several times. The one that comes to mind immediately is one day she looked at my feet while we were working and cracked up laughing and she was then like "oh sorry, i was distracted by those shoes" and just kept kind of halfway trying to work and halfway laughing at me.

    She is actually someone that I generally like quite a lot, but man, those kind of "you will be ridiculed for not fitting into the box that society has built for you" moments are irritating.

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    A lot of those things sound like something that people who subscribe to traditional gender roles and stereotypes say, which is not a type thing or cognitive function thing.

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    by default, i probably drive most of this kind of people away by just being myself. not enough conformity for their taste
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    When someone says stuff like that to you just say "DON'T JUDGE ME!"


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    Never in my life have I said anything like that.

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    VERY good topic. Nice thread. There are much better examples actually than what you provide.

    These situations actually can make me angry...

    Fe types are utterly oblivious to this by the way.


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    Unless I was playfully teasing a friend with whom I know I can safely joke around, I can't imagine why I'd say anything like the examples above. I don't think I even have those thoughts to begin with. A few of my uncles and cousins derive great amusement from people-watching and laughing at anything they find unusual, but this bothers me a lot. I'm sure that if they didn't know me, they'd be making fun of me, too.

    I do work with an ESFJ woman who has made snarky comments about my clothing and my boyfriend, which I find odd (as she claims to adore everything subversive and strange). However, I don't think this has to do with her personality type as much as it does her insecurity.
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    VERY good topic. Nice thread. There are much better examples actually than what you provide.

    These situations actually can make me angry...

    Fe types are utterly oblivious to this by the way.
    Could you give better examples of this? I'm really interested. The examples in the OP, to me, just sound like "people being mean" (in a playful way to disguise their insecurity). Are these deemed "Fe" only because they are judging from the 'social norm'?
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    I wonder if it isn't...I dunno, a form of humour? That gets experienced as a slight? I can imagine that Fe-users would find it very amusing to notice those things that are outside the realm of what is generally considered the norm in society. Granted, if it makes them feel uncomfortable, it will likely be a projection of their uncomfortableness...but Ive seen Fe-users who are comfortable in their own skin just be amused by the Fe-irony present in whatever it is the other person is doing that is outside the social norm.

    If the other person however is an Fe-tard, or less focused on the Fe-perspective, they might not really realise that they are being unintentionally humorous for those with an Fe-perspective. Miscommunication is likely to ensue.

    Kind of like how T-types insult each other to express affection, or pick at each others slips and use it as 'proof' that the other isnt T or isnt intelligent, while their intelligence is clear to anyone around?
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