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Thread: Fallen In Love?

  1. #1

    Default Fallen In Love?

    Simple question...how do you know when you have fallen in love with someone? Not lust or infatuation, but all the way, genuine love? What is/was that like for you? How were you around the object of your affection?
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    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
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    How’s the saying go? A man only realizes he’s in love with a woman after she’s gone. I knew before that but it didn’t stop me from being an immature ass that let a wonderful girl slip through my fingers.

    I knew I was truly in love with the only woman I have ever loved when I was waiting for her to get off work one night and I saw her walking down the sidewalk towards me. Maybe not a profound moment. No fireworks no music. Just a smile on my face and a warmth within me. Things felt right with the universe. Whatever came before and whatever since, I knew this was a girl I could have spent my life with. Could have created life with. Yet youth is such a deceptive thing. It makes you believe things will never change or that such a person can be found again and I took her for granted, took for granted how lucky a SOB I was for finding such a fantastic person on my second go. Live and learn I guess. It was a hell of a lesson and even with everything that’s happened since then, ruining my chances with her is the biggest regret I carry with me.
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

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    Bike Thief Nørrsken's Avatar
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    When it's no longer about you anymore, but the other person.
    It's cold in hell.
    It's cold in hell, they said.
    It's cold in hell.
    In this endless winter.
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    Sweet Summer Child yama's Avatar
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    I never feel lust or infatuation and I've had so few crushes in my life that I can count them on one hand. But I know that I was in love with 2 of them. For me it's easy to tell but that's just because I don't experience lust or sexual attraction or any of that other stuff that could muddy the waters.
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    When you can't imagine life without the other person, and feel a little like this comedian describes love (in his view, from a man's perspective, ignore the joke about shoes):

    YouTube

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    abcdenfp Abcdenfp's Avatar
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    It's like that scene in Jerry macquire , where he reaches for his phone to fine someone to share the good news with and he realizes there is only one person he wanted to share that moment with.
    Or when you expose yourself showing all the uncomfortable bits and the person still looks at you with love and doesn't turn away or visa versa .
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  7. #7
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    If we weren't constantly bombarded with love songs, would we fall in love?

    Marriage is a contract, and romantic love began with the medieval troubadours who romanced married women, but didn't sleep with them.

    Falling in love today is consuming love in our consumer culture. And the proof of this is that falling in love doesn't last. It is another consumer item.

    Today falling in love entrances us, our critical mind goes to sleep, and we can believe almost anything.

    Of course it touches our needs as children, such as our need for love, for unconditional love. We are touched at our deepest need so that we will buy, almost anything.
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    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    When I still feel the need to communicate whereas I said it is over


    It means to feel in love I need to live quite a while in touch with that intimate person, I can't fall in love at first sight for example. It would be total nonsense.
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

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    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    It's when I start feeling deeply invested in them and their happiness. It's when I can picture us growing old together and can feel the whole of time, of what it would be like to be on the other end of life looking back with them. It's when I feel like they can see who I actually am, and I can at least glimpse who they are and it is still a good thing. It's when they feel like home.

    It's always scary though, and a risk to commit to that, knowing how hurtful it can be if it falls apart. There can also be something exciting about taking that risk because it makes me feel alive.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)


  10. #10
    Senior Member Madboot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abcdenfp View Post
    It's like that scene in Jerry macquire , where he reaches for his phone to fine someone to share the good news with and he realizes there is only one person he wanted to share that moment with.
    Or when you expose yourself showing all the uncomfortable bits and the person still looks at you with love and doesn't turn away or visa versa .
    I agree. When someone sees you at your most vulnerable with only acceptance, and you feel the same for them. That is what you hold on to. Focusing on only the best qualities of another person is infatuation. Seeing the complete person, flaws and all, and accepting it all as pieces of the greater whole, and loving it? That is a beautiful thing.
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