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Thread: Fallen In Love?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Madboot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    If we weren't constantly bombarded with love songs, would we fall in love?

    Marriage is a contract, and romantic love began with the medieval troubadours who romanced married women, but didn't sleep with them.

    Falling in love today is consuming love in our consumer culture. And the proof of this is that falling in love doesn't last. It is another consumer item.

    Today falling in love entrances us, our critical mind goes to sleep, and we can believe almost anything.

    Of course it touches our needs as children, such as our need for love, for unconditional love. We are touched at our deepest need so that we will buy, almost anything.
    I'm sorry but I disagree. I don't listen to love songs, and I love my wife greatly. I think your definition of romantic love is different from mine. I feel that true romantic love is a feeling that two people share without the external world qualifying it, or quantifying it. I differ with your point that love does not last. I have been married for fourteen years now and I love her more than ever. The depth of her character and the insightfulness of her mind amaze me all the time. If it is finite, it is because the human condition is finite. It is no consumer item, for it cannot be bought or sold. Anyone who says otherwise has never experienced it and has my sympathy on the matter. You are entitled to your opinion, and I know you are an intelligent and thoughtful person. But I cannot agree with you on this subject.
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  2. #12
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madboot View Post
    I'm sorry but I disagree. I don't listen to love songs, and I love my wife greatly. I think your definition of romantic love is different from mine. I feel that true romantic love is a feeling that two people share without the external world qualifying it, or quantifying it. I differ with your point that love does not last. I have been married for fourteen years now and I love her more than ever. The depth of her character and the insightfulness of her mind amaze me all the time. If it is finite, it is because the human condition is finite. It is no consumer item, for it cannot be bought or sold. Anyone who says otherwise has never experienced it and has my sympathy on the matter. You arWe entitled to your opinion, and I know you are an intelligent and thoughtful person. But I cannot agree with you on this subject.
    I am pleased you disagree as most Western people would agree with you. However falling in love led Romeo and Juliette to their deaths, yet we have whole industries devoted to falling in iove. And Juliette was only 14 years old, and a victim of statutory rape, and under the legal control of her parents. And some cultures dispense with love and have arranged marriages. And depth analysis of falling love leads us back to childhood and our parents.

    Why is it that the psychoanalysis of falling in love is so uniformly resisted in the West? What don't we want to know?

  3. #13
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I don't think I have ever fallen in love with someone.

    Infatuation, sure. I've been that. But the 'advertised feeling' of true love has so far been beyond my grasp.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #14

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    I don't think that there's a general formula to love. That feeling is so deeply personal that it simply cannot be viewed the same way by anyone. I haven't really figured out what love is for me myself and I think trying to understand what it is, is pointless. It doesn't change its realness. I think that "love" itself doesn't really exist. You can fall for someone physically because the chemistry between you two works, then you realize you have a lot in common and you want to spend more time with that person and all of a sudden you feel relaxed and truly yourself around them. That's what I call... "love".


    If you want words to live your life by
    Walk the graves, walk the graves
    It's written on the headstones
    Time waits for no one
    Our legacy won't be wasted on me
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  5. #15
    Senior Member Madboot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    I am pleased you disagree as most Western people would agree with you. However falling in love led Romeo and Juliette to their deaths, yet we have whole industries devoted to falling in iove. And Juliette was only 14 years old, and a victim of statutory rape, and under the legal control of her parents. And some cultures dispense with love and have arranged marriages. And depth analysis of falling love leads us back to childhood and our parents.

    Why is it that the psychoanalysis of falling in love is so uniformly resisted in the West? What don't we want to know?
    The story of Romeo and Juliet is about tragic infatuation. The two of them knew nothing of the other. They only knew the stirring in their respective undergarments. Real romantic connections are built upon respect, common interests, true emotional connection. This requires actually getting to know the other person. I have no issue with love be analyzed, as all things can be. But you made the statement that love is a consumer item, and cannot last. It is that statement that I take issue with. One can easily point the irrational nature of love. It is irrational. That is part of its beauty. It is purely emotional. I wish to be clear, I am not upset or angry. I simply disagree with a specific part of your original statement. Romeo and Juliet, while a lovely and tragic story, were a fictitious pair of characters. I would be appalled at anyone in real life trying to emulate them. A lot of people died senselessly in that story, merely because of over-active hormones. Apologies to any fans of the bard.

  6. #16
    Wei 18 - Sie 39 agentwashington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    I am pleased you disagree as most Western people would agree with you. However falling in love led Romeo and Juliette to their deaths, yet we have whole industries devoted to falling in iove. And Juliette was only 14 years old, and a victim of statutory rape, and under the legal control of her parents. And some cultures dispense with love and have arranged marriages. And depth analysis of falling love leads us back to childhood and our parents.

    Why is it that the psychoanalysis of falling in love is so uniformly resisted in the West? What don't we want to know?
    i, too, nut to lacan

    ... in all seriousness, arranged marriages isnt the way to go either, but i am very fond of what lacan (and zizek) has to say about love and desire.

    idk, on some level you cant just theorise and then not live your life.
    “Don’t use your strength to oppress, (but also) don’t let your weakness make you feel helpless.”
    - Rurouni Kenshin

    “This world is beautiful. People can love each other and live life respecting each other. Someday everyone will come to realize that and this will become a beautiful world full of only such people.”
    - Kino no Tabi

  7. #17
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTerran View Post
    Simple question...how do you know when you have fallen in love with someone? Not lust or infatuation, but all the way, genuine love? What is/was that like for you? How were you around the object of your affection?
    You just know

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  8. #18
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Though this is still rather applicable across the board, I thought this was interesting.

    While I personally reject the concept of a soul or soulmate- the phrasing aside- I found the INFJ description very relatable, in terms of what is the most vital internal indicator that I've found a good partner. Ignoring all the usual stuff in these articles that blow smoke up INFJ’s asses about how special (etc) they are, of course. The feeling described is accurate, for me.

    Others may connect with theirs. I think most of the values described could be said for anyone regardless of type. I guess it’s just a matter of which might stand out to you the most.

    The Myers Briggs Guide to Knowing You’ve Found Your Soulmate | Observer
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.
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  9. #19
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Though this is still rather applicable across the board, I thought this was interesting.

    While I personally reject the concept of a soul or soulmate- the phrasing aside- I found the INFJ description very relatable, in terms of what is the most vital internal indicator that I've found a good partner. Ignoring all the usual stuff in these articles that blow smoke up INFJ’s asses about how special (etc) they are, of course. The feeling described is accurate, for me.

    Others may connect with theirs. I think most of the values described could be said for anyone regardless of type. I guess it’s just a matter of which might stand out to you the most.

    The Myers Briggs Guide to Knowing You’ve Found Your Soulmate | Observer
    Just as astrology is plausible, so mbti is plausible. But both fail the tests of evidence and reason and common morality.

  10. #20
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Just as astrology is plausible, so mbti is plausible. But both fail the tests of evidence and reason and common morality.
    Even things lacking solid evidence can prove useful in their own way. So long as they aren’t looked at in terms of solid, static absolutes, since they certainly don’t fit that criteria. I figure it goes unsaid that humans are more complex than language allows for us to describe. There are many ways to go about understanding patterns of behavior, thinking, feeling, etc. Some don’t necessarily have to be concrete to have value. It’s all in how you use it.

    As my cat might say if he could speak English... “Boxes sure can fun to explore- just please don’t seal it while I’m inside.”
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.
    Likes Xann, MDP2525 liked this post

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