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  1. #1

    Default INTP/INFP pairing and question about opening up in relationships/coping with breakup

    I'm a female INTP with a strong F, and I've depeloped a crush on who I believe is an INFP- or at least a guy who seems to fit the description of one.
    Anyway, both of us have recently gotten out of relationships- mine being with a very unhealthy INTJ. While I like this new guy, I understand that taking time to work on myself is very important and I have no intent to jump into any new relationships (not that I'm assuming that's what's on his mind because I seriously doubt it). But I cannot deny that I have been really thinking about him a lot.
    Again, I cant be sure he's an INFP, but at the very least he is an introvert with a feeling preference. I've read a bit into INFP/INTP pairings and havent really seen any positive results (I am aware that any pairing is possible. But that is not why I'm here). My concern, with reflection onto my last relationship, is an issue with communication as well as a fear of stagnation. I see any conflict or concern as an opportunity for personal/relational growth and it seriously wore down on me knowing that I wasn't able to have that in the past.

    Anyway, I guess I was wondering:

    1. Just out of curiosity anyway, how compatible a female INTP with a strong F could be with a male INFP, and how do they show interest in someone?
    2. How INTPs cope with breakups (I feel like for the most part I have moved on, but at the same time this is only my second relationship (both long term. First being with an immature INTP) at almost 25 and its only been about a month
    3. How to deal with these feelings of fear towards opening up and trying again? Will they go away with time? I am genuinely fearful of not being able to put my all into anything I do. That includes relationships.
    4. I am also concerned with never feeling open to experiencing that deep connectedness people can have in relationships. Ive dated two emotionally selfish/unavailable men in situations where I put in most of the effort (why would I subconsiously seek that out?) How does one get to that point?

  2. #2
    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
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    I'm an INFP male and I find INTP women very interesting. Unfortunately I don't believe I've ever dated one so my knowledge is fairly limited. The nice thing should be he understands emotions. He may or may not readily express them but I'd imagine regardless he knows their depth and complexity.

    For me I'm different with a SO than anyone else. I'll tend to be reserved with most people even while listening to their problems and lending a sympathetic ear. With the right person I will try to be more forthcoming about my deeper thoughts. If you two are interested in one another with the potential for exclusivity, take your time and see where things lead. It's so easy for me being outside the situation to say that when emotions, especially romantic ones, like to storm in and take over kicking logic and reason to the curb. Hopefully someone with some real insight will comment. I figured I'd just pop in and say hello. Hello!

    Love your name by the way. Good luck!
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Crystal Winter Dream's Avatar
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    I am limited in knowledge as well, but I notice I tend to get along with more xxTPs really well as an xNFP. I'd say go for it regardless. You never know unless you try!
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