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  1. #11
    Sheriff of Fabletown... Gentleman Jack's Avatar
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    Time and patience, and a bit of understanding will go a long way to opening up lines of communication. I often end up being the talker with the INTP's in my life, but they seem to prefer it that way, until they have something to say on the subject, and it's always worth the wait... That being said it does seem y'all are happy, so I'll leave you with the following...^_^ For your viewing pleasure...

    With all Due Respect,
    -Jack



    I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me...


    I've never been nice my whole life, but I'll do my best... to be sweet...

    A Gentleman is simply a patient Wolf...

    On a gathering storm comes a tall handsome man; in a dusty black coat with a red right hand...
    Likes Polinares liked this post

  2. #12
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    Hello again. same story, same guy, related issues.

    So things keep going, mostly good, although his behavior hasn't changed much. let's say I adapted more.
    now lately there has been an issue that really threw me off.

    my bf has been sick for about 3 weeks. during these 3 weeks I have seen him once.
    now I've tried being supportive and he's been mostly ok with that, but he does have a bad history with hospitals and in general he wants to be alone when sick, and he doesn't like too much to be reminded of his condition but rather prefers to be told something interesting unrelated. I find hard both leaving him alone and doing this "distraction" thing because I'd want the total opposite if it was me.

    so last days he had to go to the hospital and stayed there for 3 days, at his parents town. I asked him if I could visit and he told me he wanted to be alone. I was a bit hurt and he said if he was going to have something more serious, needing surgery, I could visit, but otherwise he'd rather be alone with parents. he also added it's not personal but he really doesn't want anyone. he has barely told his close friends he was sick.
    so I believe this POV, even though I don't share it. it's still weird for me but ok.

    then he also added that this wasn't the best timing to visit because while his friends and siblings know about me and have met me, his parents don't know about me.
    this has quite upset me because although he hasn't met my parents either, they know about him. and I though the same about his. I didn't expect them to know every full detail but at least my existence yes.
    we have now been dating for a year, and defining "bf-gf" for 6 months (but exclusive since the beginning). note that this is a difference he stresses, but to me it doesn't really make sense.
    also we went 3 weeks on holiday abroad, so I am really curious about what he said about that to them.

    finally I dropped the L bomb a month ago or so. imagine the reaction of an intp: feelings! what do you want me to do with them?

    any comment is welcome.

  3. #13
    I wanna fcken feel right Numbly Aware's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Polinares View Post
    Hello again. same story, same guy, related issues.

    So things keep going, mostly good, although his behavior hasn't changed much. let's say I adapted more.
    now lately there has been an issue that really threw me off.

    my bf has been sick for about 3 weeks. during these 3 weeks I have seen him once.
    now I've tried being supportive and he's been mostly ok with that, but he does have a bad history with hospitals and in general he wants to be alone when sick, and he doesn't like too much to be reminded of his condition but rather prefers to be told something interesting unrelated. I find hard both leaving him alone and doing this "distraction" thing because I'd want the total opposite if it was me.

    so last days he had to go to the hospital and stayed there for 3 days, at his parents town. I asked him if I could visit and he told me he wanted to be alone. I was a bit hurt and he said if he was going to have something more serious, needing surgery, I could visit, but otherwise he'd rather be alone with parents. he also added it's not personal but he really doesn't want anyone. he has barely told his close friends he was sick.
    so I believe this POV, even though I don't share it. it's still weird for me but ok.

    then he also added that this wasn't the best timing to visit because while his friends and siblings know about me and have met me, his parents don't know about me.
    this has quite upset me because although he hasn't met my parents either, they know about him. and I though the same about his. I didn't expect them to know every full detail but at least my existence yes.
    we have now been dating for a year, and defining "bf-gf" for 6 months (but exclusive since the beginning). note that this is a difference he stresses, but to me it doesn't really make sense.
    also we went 3 weeks on holiday abroad, so I am really curious about what he said about that to them.

    finally I dropped the L bomb a month ago or so. imagine the reaction of an intp: feelings! what do you want me to do with them?

    any comment is welcome.
    It could be he doesn't trust his parents around you... he's most likely protecting you and himself from uncomfortable situations.
    I'm in pain, I wanna put 10 shots in my brain~

  4. #14
    Senior Member thepumpkinpot's Avatar
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    Seriously, he is playing hard to get and it's neither doing you good nor your relationship. I'd just straight up tell him that. That situation seems to make you unlucky too. Also not telling his parents he has a gf? I'd definitely ask what's going on there. He disappearing so much all has a bit of a passive-aggressive taste to it. He knows you'd like to see him more, but there, off he goes into his cave to disappear anyway...
    In the end, if he's not okay with doing less alone time and more relationship-time and you can't live with that situation, you're just incompatible and you have to leave. It's sad but that can happen in life. After reading what you said about how he reacted when you dropped the L-word, I must say, he doesn't seem emotionally mature enough for a relationship anyway. I mean thinker or not, a rational person would expect feelings to be a big topic in relationships, lol. On top of that, wouldn't you want someone who knows how to respond to your I love yous? I get the feeling you do.
    Also I'd like to add:
    Me not being too assertive or vocal about things that bother me (I've stopped complaining after he told me I was smothering him at first) while he can be brutally honest easily
    Now that's an obvious double standard. When someone is doing that, it's time to make the other person aware of what's going on, because you're not being treated fairly there.
    Consider different ways of seeing the same old things
    We're used to seeing now



    Please ignore certain spelling and grammatical errors, English is not my mother tongue.


    Your dominant body-based type is
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    Your dominant heart-based type is
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    Your dominant head-based type is
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  5. #15
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    Doesnt seem like he cares.

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