User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 92

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    9

    Default ENFP and planning- good lord lol (from an INTJ perspective)

    I'm interested to find out how common this experience is out there:

    I'm an INTJ, my social circle is small to the point of being non-existent, but when I do go out, it's usually because I have been invited out by more social friends, especially ENFP types.

    I had an amusing experience last night that I now realize is a recurring pattern - ENFP and their idea of planning...

    I suppose from an ENFP point of view, it starts out as an urge to be around their friends - just a general feeling of "I'M ALIVE AND I WANT TO HAVE FUNNN!"

    The ENFP starts messaging all their friends. I find that typically the event is scheduled for TONIGHT!!!

    The messages are typically exciting and upbeat.. "Come along! X will be there, Y will be there! We're going to do ABC!!!!"

    I rock up to find only a handful of people actually present - it turns out that most people didn't reply, were busy or will be joining maybe later perhaps possibly.

    ENFP still seems happy, keeps everyone engaged and happy despite the tiny numbers. The original plans have to be scrapped because there's just not enough people, but the ENFP starts coming up with new ideas.

    The group generally has fun, feeding quite a lot off the ENFP's enthusiasm, jokes and random singing and dancing, but the need to create new plans on-the-spot as a committee generally leads to 1-2 hours of uncertainty as people generally pass time talking amongst themselves. The J-types start to dominate here in terms of actually forcing a plan through.

    The group finally settle on something they can do together, and head off. The ENFP hits their highest point of enthusiasm yet, now that the group is moving with a purpose.

    We arrive wherever we decided to go. Typically this goes 1 of 3 ways: the group hangs out and has fun that night. Or the lack of preplanning means a surprise kills the plan at the door (eg whatever activity was proposed needed a booking, or the place is just closed). Or the group hangs out and has fun - until something happens...they realize they are lost, they realize there's no food or some key ingredient is missing and all the shops are closed, or the bill arrives and they realize they have been massively overcharged because the costs weren't checked/understood at the beginning.

    The party starts to get tired and people start to go home. The ENFP will almost always propose some kind of afterparty at this point.

    And on it goes.

    Dunno about other people's experiences, but there are 2 ENFP party planners in my life who habitually do this.

  2. #2
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    792 so/sx
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    2,929

    Default

    Couple things that go on in my head when putting something together.

    1) Usually, yes, it tends to be spur of the moment because I run off my current state of emotions, and that's not something you can plan for. You don't know how you're going to feel a week from now, so why plan for it?

    2) Invite everyone because you understand people have lives and you realize that you are indeed planning something last minute, so the reality is, only a very small number of those you invite will actually attend

    3) it's hardly WHAT you do, but WHO you do it with. So long as you get a group of good people together, whatevs!

    4) whatever bad happens, at least you're with the right crowd. This totally related to the above mentioned too. And I also find, that it's the mishaps and "adventures" you stumble upon with friends that leave the most lasting impressions and best stories to tell afterwards.

    There really doesn't seem to be much planning involved really, and that's sort of the point, and the larger perspective on life too. You don't know what's going to happen in life, so why try to control it? The best you can do is to head forward strong with the right attitude and know that things do tend to work out in the end, no matter how dire the present situation may seem.

    I wouldn't call the above an "ENFP" response, but it's how I tend to live life and it's taken me to a place I'm content with so something must be working

    I tend to keep to an overarching "theme" or direction, but the day to day is all trivial really.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #3
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,021

    Default

    How did ENFPs survive before cell phones?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
    Likes Amargith, five sounds, Peter Deadpan liked this post

  4. #4
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    792 so/sx
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    2,929

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    How did ENFPs survive before cell phones?
    Smoke signals and chant?
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt
    Likes Amargith, Abendrot liked this post

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    9

    Default

    Thanks for the input, Enthusiastic Dreamer. So it sounds like it is connected to the types then.

    I think it's great my ENFP friends are usually the ones rallying everyone together. It was funny to me how obviously alien our strategies were at navigating the world. I could never see myself organising a surprise get-together the same way, and I think most INTJs would feel the same. I have a theory that: to just jump in and enjoy the ride with no planning is an INTJs worst nightmare. lol

  6. #6
    Butterfly Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEx None
    Posts
    14,571

    Default

    This is why when you hatch the idea, you give it to an INTJ to execute


    I've actually stopped doing this stuff, for fear of not being able to make it come together and disappointing people
    Otoh, I have become pretty good at coming up with in the moment weird fix its for situations that lack planning, or that have gone off the rails, in order to salvage the night a bit. So, I tend to happily go along with plans that my social group does, but if they run into a wrinkle, (or I see another opportunity to *add* to the fun), I'll start brainstorming crazy ways to distract them from that, and enhance the cheer in the group.

    Living with an INTJ does that - you let them plan the main structure and then you fill in the framework they provide with fun surprises along the way - the nuttier the better
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Be careful what you believe, because that is the world you'll create - Cassie Nightingale

  7. #7

    Default

    If an ENFP done that to me, that would be the last thing they'd do.. xD

    If no-one tells me where we're going or what we're doing, I'm mostly likely not gonna go. I don't see it as a worthwhile investment, if we're not gonna create any worthwhile memories and just faff about for an hour or two doing nothing and wasting time in a coffee shop, tbh. I could be doing other things and finishing up other projects D:

  8. #8
    Senior Member thepumpkinpot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sp
    Socionics
    EII Ni
    Posts
    186

    Default

    Okay, this post comes across as very biased. As if ENFPs are totally incapable of planning and stupid because two ENFPs do it that way, urm, wth. And the title, dear lord.

    I can't remember ever doing such a thing. I plan out every detail if I have decided to meet with friends. We check how much time both of us have and of course if the place is open we want to go. Of course we have our spontaneous moments, but they're rare. Aside from that I'm not the social butterfly Enfp-type, cause you know, that type exists too.
    Consider different ways of seeing the same old things
    We're used to seeing now



    Please ignore certain spelling and grammatical errors, English is not my mother tongue.


    Your dominant body-based type is
    type 1 (1w2)
    Your dominant heart-based type is
    type 4 (4w3)
    Your dominant head-based type is
    type 6 (6w7)
    Likes Starry, Betty Blue liked this post

  9. #9
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    729 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEE Ne
    Posts
    5,639

    Default

    Lol yeah I honestly had no reactions while reading your post that were strong. By that I mean it sounds so normal to me to the point of feeling benign. I honestly don't know of another way to do things. Can't predict the future ya know? Just round up the troops and follow leads so that whoever ends up being there does what's best for that particular group, with room left for new opportunities of course
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
    Likes Dreamer, MDP2525 liked this post

  10. #10
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    729 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEE Ne
    Posts
    5,639

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    How did ENFPs survive before cell phones?
    One solitary plan: meet up with a friend. After that, we roam.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
    Likes Starry, Gentleman Jack liked this post

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO