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This INFP girl

PalebloodHunter

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Hey, guys. I hope this post doesn't come across as cheesy but I really think I'm at my wits end here. I'm a 24 year old ENTP and quit my corporate job few months ago to turn to writing for videogames. I had also just cut off from a relationship with a sociopath. One day, I took an UberPOOL and ended up sharing it with this gorgeous woman. Now, I was nervous for a while and wanted to strike a conversation. However, she seemed unsure about her destination. I figured she was new to town and asked her that, she said she was. Then I also noticed the familiarity of her accent and soon enough, discovered we were from the same home town. Thanks to the horrible traffic conditions of my city, We were stuck with what ended up in a deep conversation. She is a fashion designer with her own brand who came to the city to study the retail aspect of it all. Soon, she got off and I hit myself in the head because I forgot to take her number down.

However, I had friends in her college and so sent my ninja squad on an assignment to gather info about her. With luck, I finally found her profile on FB and sent her a request. To my surprise, she accepted! (within the span of a few days, however). Further to my surprise, she actually replied when i texted her in a really friendly manner that translated straight from the discussion we had in the cab. I found out she was an INFP and it did fit, since she always seemed shy and reserved when we talked. Also, she had this annoying habbit of just dying off midway through a conversation. After a while, I just thought she wasn't interested. So, as a 21st century gentleman, I decided to give the lady some space and resort to simple online stalking. It appeared that we had a lot of shared interests, since she herself messaged after a while and we had a nice healthy chat... which lasted few weeks before she died again. I asked what was up, and she replied that "she needed some time alone since she was going through a divorce." Surely, nothing unusual. I made it a point to give her some space.

We soon resumed talking again. I found out she liked painting and wanted to see her work, so she herself asked for my number so she could show them. We then started getting a lot closer and she'd often jump from small talk to deep philosophical topics with little connection between the two. She apparently loves "words" and really liked the way I'd put things into perspective (I guess I am a good writer lol). We seemed totally comfortable with each other, I even told her I heard her talk to herself back in the cab to which she embarrassingly admitted that she does that a lot. She also said that she felt a special connection with me, though she was awfully surprised when I told her I was 24 since I seemed older to her (she herself is approaching 30). She also admitted that she had been stalking me for a good while now. At this point we decided to meet. We had breakfast at this really quiet place with a lot of books and jazz music. She loved it. We then spent the whole day together and for drinks I took her to this place where I could mix my own cocktails since I knew the guys there well, I mixed her a smoked drink since she had a sore throat due to cold. She said she appreciated all of that and ended up talking for hours. At this point things took a tragic turn, I found out that she had lost her mother at an early age and her dad had remarried. She had issues with her stepmother and her dad too passed away few years ago. She had married in her early twenties and has a daughter. But, her husband would always abuse her and apparently had an extra-marital affair too. Her daughter stays with him.

I tried my best to comfort her. We switched topics and soon she back to her laughing self. She eventually cozied up to me, held hands and just leaned over me when we took a cab back. We decided to take a little walk where she'd keep asking what was on my mind. Eventually, it all just boiled up and I ended up telling her how I felt. She was surprised in that she didn't expect me to say that after all she told about herself. I told her I didn't care. She still persisted and that was when I pulled her close and gave her a kiss. She was flabbergasted and said that she's more used to chasing people and this was a first for her. We decided to walk a little more. When all of a sudden she just said she will meet me tomorrow. We called it a day.

And then she died... again :|. For 4 straight days I texted her and she wouldn't reply. It drove me mad. I called her and she wouldn't pick up. So, I sent her a voice text and asked her to tell me if she didn't want to talk, because I needed to know. Finally, I got a reply which said that she thinks she shouldn't engage because she doesn't think it will go anywhere so best end it right here. I just asked her that I wanted to talk and did not like this silent treatment. She then said that she was sorry for that but she just does not want to do this. She didn't come to the city for a relationship and has to get her stuff sorted.

I mean... I kinda got it :\... I jumped the gun a bit too early. Maybe she thinks I'll eventually flake. So, I told her that I really liked talking to her and enjoyed her company and more of it... even if it meant as a friend for now. We could take things slowly. But, I got no further reply.

This post is all jumbled and is a lot to take in I guess. But, I really am at the edge. This girl is the nicest person I've met and actually seemed interested in even the most mundane things about me. (especially coming off a relationship with a sociopath) I can't give up on her but I'm completely blank right now. It's the first time I'm resorting to the web for help. So, wise ones... please tell me how do I get rid of my anxiety?
 

PalebloodHunter

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I read your post and hear you:



What do you think you are feeling anxious about?

There are so many questions in my head. Why did things go south when she clearly had a good time? What does she really think of me now? I've texted her quite a lot saying I just want her to talk to me but barely got any replies, am I bothering her all of a sudden? If she didn't want to get into this, why did she make the moves on me? Was I being played? What am I to do from here on out? I'm way too deep into her and this is deeply upsetting me.
 

PeaceBaby

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There are so many questions in my head. Why did things go south when she clearly had a good time? What does she really think of me now? I've texted her quite a lot saying I just want her to talk to me but barely got any replies, am I bothering her all of a sudden? If she didn't want to get into this, why did she make the moves on me? Was I being played? What am I to do from here on out? I'm way too deep into her and this is deeply upsetting me.

*nods* I hear you, thanks for your reply. What outcome are you hoping for?
 

PalebloodHunter

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*nods* I hear you, thanks for your reply. What outcome are you hoping for?

Anything other than what's happening right now. Right now, I just want to start talking again like we used to. We could take things slowly. But, even that's not happening.
 

Novella

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She may just need time to process, divorce and losing primary access to one's child would have an enormous impact on her life, particularly as it was by her accounts, abusive. In addition to him cheating on her. Sounds like it was a traumatic experience for her.
She has told you that she needs space. Give her that space. It sounds like she is interested but needs time to mull things over. She has reached out before so being proactive is not anathema to her. I am not saying not to contact her again but keep it low keel, you are there for her as support.
Think you may be over analysing your part in her withdrawal and this clearly is playing a part in your anxiety. Don't have the impression this is about anything you did or said but that this is about her and the healing she needs to do. Everyone has baggage but you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's emotional sores are still weeping.
 

PeaceBaby

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Anything other than what's happening right now. Right now, I just want to start talking again like we used to. We could take things slowly. But, even that's not happening.

It would be helpful for you to really think about what you want and why you want that. What do you want? I feel it would be very helpful for you to define this in an out-loud way.

As an ENTP, you're bound to come up with dozens of Ti - Fe reasonings about what's up with her and why she would be treating you this way, thoughts both charitable and uncharitable. Rather than look to providing some rationale overtop of her behaviour, if you can manage to put yourself in her shoes you might find that what should happen next comes more naturally. You've explained things quite beautifully up there so it's not too hard. Imagine you just ended an abusive relationship and somehow not come out of that with custody of your daughter, what might you be processing and how might that impact your ability or interest to interface in another relationship? What behaviour might you like to see from a prospective partner? Then, do that. She asks you to maintain a bit of space, you do that too. Show her that you hear her by respecting her words. You can certainly ask something like, "Can we be in touch once a week?" And if she agrees to that, but then you don't hear back from her, you might be wise to move on from this idea in your head of being together since she's not demonstrating an ability to be in a partnership at the present time.

Ya, you like her. And by your account, she likely found you interesting and fun. But the post above mine here too is sound. You may wish to think carefully about entering relationship with someone who's got a lot of processing to do. She's indicated to you clearly that she needs time. If she is INFP, a lot of that will be emotional heavy lifting to try to make sense of the feelings she's carrying. If you push, you'll add more feeling-load to the pile and that's not likely to help.

Best wishes to you!
 

Peter Deadpan

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Your story wasn't cheesy and I found it to be very sweet. You seem like a lovely guy and it sounds like she was quite surprised to find that you are interested in her. Given her history (I have a very similar history), I would say that she is probably terrified inside. The effects of abuse can linger for years or even forever and tend to take a serious toll on self-esteem and ability to trust again. I do think she really likes you and I think she would probably really like to get close to you, but when she felt attraction and feelings of affection, she probably bolted because she doesn't know what's going to happen. It sounds like you guys have something special, and if you think she is worth some work (trust me, it's gonna take some work and you'll probably be confused or frustrated at times), then what I recommend is that you let her know that you appreciate her companionship and you would like to be friends and give her whatever space makes her feel comfortable. Honestly, her ability to resist the temptation of diving into your arms so to speak is a testament of her strength and commitment to growth. She recognizes that she has wounds and she wants to heal them first before bringing a man into her world.

If I could give you one more piece of advice: In a lot of the material out there geared towards women who have been in abusive relationships, it is said to be a red flag if a man accuses his exes of being abusive. I FULLY realize that this is a farfetched fallacy, but it has been said time and time again. The reason this is said is because a lot of abusive men do badmouth their exes when in fact it was them who was the abuser. If she is hypervigilant, she may be looking for red flags to assess how safe you are. I'm not saying you cannot talk about your ex at all, but be very mindful of how you speak of the situation so she doesn't get the impression that you may be a wolf in sheep's clothing who is manipulating the story of your past to make you look better.

I wish you the best of luck and hope this grows into a loving relationship you can both settle into.
 

PalebloodHunter

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She may just need time to process, divorce and losing primary access to one's child would have an enormous impact on her life, particularly as it was by her accounts, abusive. In addition to him cheating on her. Sounds like it was a traumatic experience for her.
She has told you that she needs space. Give her that space. It sounds like she is interested but needs time to mull things over. She has reached out before so being proactive is not anathema to her. I am not saying not to contact her again but keep it low keel, you are there for her as support.
Think you may be over analysing your part in her withdrawal and this clearly is playing a part in your anxiety. Don't have the impression this is about anything you did or said but that this is about her and the healing she needs to do. Everyone has baggage but you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's emotional sores are still weeping.

Thanks, yeah. I do tend to over analyse a lot. I mean, what to do when a girl says she feels a special connection and goes cold. But, yeah these were things I had been thinking about and it was nice that other people think the same way. It does help ease my mind a lot. All I can do is wait for now, and I'm down with that.
 

PalebloodHunter

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It would be helpful for you to really think about what you want and why you want that. What do you want? I feel it would be very helpful for you to define this in an out-loud way.

As an ENTP, you're bound to come up with dozens of Ti - Fe reasonings about what's up with her and why she would be treating you this way, thoughts both charitable and uncharitable. Rather than look to providing some rationale overtop of her behaviour, if you can manage to put yourself in her shoes you might find that what should happen next comes more naturally. You've explained things quite beautifully up there so it's not too hard. Imagine you just ended an abusive relationship and somehow not come out of that with custody of your daughter, what might you be processing and how might that impact your ability or interest to interface in another relationship? What behaviour might you like to see from a prospective partner? Then, do that. She asks you to maintain a bit of space, you do that too. Show her that you hear her by respecting her words. You can certainly ask something like, "Can we be in touch once a week?" And if she agrees to that, but then you don't hear back from her, you might be wise to move on from this idea in your head of being together since she's not demonstrating an ability to be in a partnership at the present time.

Ya, you like her. And by your account, she likely found you interesting and fun. But the post above mine here too is sound. You may wish to think carefully about entering relationship with someone who's got a lot of processing to do. She's indicated to you clearly that she needs time. If she is INFP, a lot of that will be emotional heavy lifting to try to make sense of the feelings she's carrying. If you push, you'll add more feeling-load to the pile and that's not likely to help.

Best wishes to you!

I've been thinking a lot. I also do think that in her position, the fact that she is much older might be playing another factor. See, I'm currently writing for videogames and would really want to go out and explore all the possibilities. I do assume she thinks that I might be taking this as a temporary thing and that's probably not what she's looking for at this point. But, yeah... your approach really does give a good perspective. I don't suppose things are gonna be looking up anytime soon.
 

PalebloodHunter

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Your story wasn't cheesy and I found it to be very sweet. You seem like a lovely guy and it sounds like she was quite surprised to find that you are interested in her. Given her history (I have a very similar history), I would say that she is probably terrified inside. The effects of abuse can linger for years or even forever and tend to take a serious toll on self-esteem and ability to trust again. I do think she really likes you and I think she would probably really like to get close to you, but when she felt attraction and feelings of affection, she probably bolted because she doesn't know what's going to happen. It sounds like you guys have something special, and if you think she is worth some work (trust me, it's gonna take some work and you'll probably be confused or frustrated at times), then what I recommend is that you let her know that you appreciate her companionship and you would like to be friends and give her whatever space makes her feel comfortable. Honestly, her ability to resist the temptation of diving into your arms so to speak is a testament of her strength and commitment to growth. She recognizes that she has wounds and she wants to heal them first before bringing a man into her world.

If I could give you one more piece of advice: In a lot of the material out there geared towards women who have been in abusive relationships, it is said to be a red flag if a man accuses his exes of being abusive. I FULLY realize that this is a farfetched fallacy, but it has been said time and time again. The reason this is said is because a lot of abusive men do badmouth their exes when in fact it was them who was the abuser. If she is hypervigilant, she may be looking for red flags to assess how safe you are. I'm not saying you cannot talk about your ex at all, but be very mindful of how you speak of the situation so she doesn't get the impression that you may be a wolf in sheep's clothing who is manipulating the story of your past to make you look better.

I wish you the best of luck and hope this grows into a loving relationship you can both settle into.

Thanks! I think I forgot to add, but she said that she had been fighting for a divorce for 6 whole years. She has been living separately for the last two years. Her final hearing is in June. I guess that bit of revelation throws a lot more light into the scenario when you look at it ^^. I should not have forgotten that, I should probably be fired from my writing job lol. And I have told her that we don't have to do this and that in the last 4 days, what I really missed were the random conversation we had and her company most of all. And I would want to have that back, even if it was only as a friend (for now). But, I think I kinda pestered her a bit too much by trying to make small talk. The only thing that was worrying me was if she is trying to forget me as a whole and pretend this never happened.

And yes, you are right about her strength and commitment. From everything I've noticed of her, she is by far the strongest person I've met. I can't imagine going through something like that and still being such a nice person at heart and manage to laugh at almost anything that happens.

Cheers!
 

Peter Deadpan

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And yes, you are right about her strength and commitment. From everything I've noticed of her, she is by far the strongest person I've met. I can't imagine going through something like that and still being such a nice person at heart and manage to laugh at almost anything that happens.

Cheers!

What lovely words. I hope to hear them one day, in one version or another. :)
 

PalebloodHunter

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So, hey I took ALL your advice. And it all really helped, because I feel much more calm now. I thought I'd give her a few weeks.

But, guess what?! My phone goes nuts today morning and just randomly calls everyone on my top list. The only problem? While it called others only once, it called the girl 4 times! How wonderful is that? So much for space... I texted her immediately saying my phone was fucking up, but I doubt she's gonna buy that.

Fun fact, my phone was cracked and damaged by my ex. It was still functional though so I didn't repair it. It almost seems like her spirit came alive and ensured things become as hard for me as possible. That... or maybe my phone is just sentient and wants to ruin my life.

Maybe I should just kill myself.
 

OrangeAppled

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She isn't ready for someone like you. She says she normally does the chasing. She has a past of abuse. This indicates some self-worth issues, IMO.

She doesn't know how to respond when someone doesn't play romantic games, pursues with clear intentions, gives space when needed, can handle emotionally heavy talk, etc. And she is probably right about taking some time to be single and sort stuff out.

You sound like a good guy from the OP. She is probably just not emotionally ready for what you can offer. Someone else will be (maybe another INFP....because are magical lovers. Spread the word!).
 

PalebloodHunter

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She isn't ready for someone like you. She says she normally does the chasing. She has a past of abuse. This indicates some self-worth issues, IMO.

She doesn't know how to respond when someone doesn't play romantic games, pursues with clear intentions, gives space when needed, can handle emotionally heavy talk, etc. And she is probably right about taking some time to be single and sort stuff out.

You sound like a good guy from the OP. She is probably just not emotionally ready for what you can offer. Someone else will be (maybe another INFP....because are magical lovers. Spread the word!).

Lol, bit of a downer this but I suppose it's not far from the truth. However, I can't shake off whatever I've heard and if anything, I'd just wanna help her. So, yeah... right now I'd follow as people suggest. Give her space and approach her as a friend. Nobody should have to go through that kinda stuff.
 

Cloudpatrol

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-She is new in town.

-She is in school learning to support her own business.

-She is in the process of a divorce with custody issues that are ongoing until at least June.

-She lost her Mother early and has had another Parent die relatively recently.


Death, moving and divorce are at the top of all “human stress” listings!!


She directly communicated this:

She then said that she was sorry for that but she just does not want to do this. She didn't come to the city for a relationship and has to get her stuff sorted.


Add the fact that she has a failed marriage where she was cheated on, and she is a Mother.


You say about yourself:

the fact that she is much older might be playing another factor. See, I'm currently writing for videogames and would really want to go out and explore all the possibilities. I do assume she thinks that I might be taking this as a temporary thing and that's probably not what she's looking for at this point.

What were you hoping for from the connection, were it to ultimately go forward?


It doesn’t sound like you ‘did anything wrong’. Letting her know you are available as a friend was a quality thing to do. It seems more a matter of circumstances that aren’t currently favourable.


P.S. That sucks about your phone malfunctioning and calling her multiple times! HUG. Sorry that this situation has been disappointing and caused you anxiety.
 

PalebloodHunter

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What were you hoping for from the connection, were it to ultimately go forward?

I'm hoping for something that'd give both of us a peace of mind. It's a little hard to explain but there was an incredible ease to the way we talked (whenever we did lol) and a lot of comfort without the need for walking on any eggshells. Previously, and most notably the last one, I literally had to apply a multitude of filters on the things I'd say on the off chance that I'd piss her off and whenever we hung out (noticed in retrospection). So unlike all that, I was totally enthralled with the amount of maturity this girl possesses and how she handles things. I think she can easily tell when I'm serious or when I kid around. But, most importantly, she took a keen interest in my idea of writing for videogames. Writing here isn't really taken seriously and videogames haven't picked up much and everybody here still considers them to be playtime for kids, and most ridicule the idea. When I showed her videos of some games like The Last Guardian, etc., I could tell she was genuinely interested. She commented on where the artists drew inspirations from for the background architecture and everything. She was curious. She said she even saw some videos of games I mentioned as passing comment.

That meant A LOT. Like I had been fighting against everyone (I quit a really high-profile job for this and only told my parents 2 months after doing so, I still haven't told them where I live currently because I know I'll be forced to an awkward confrontation... This is ironic isn't it? XD).

tl;dr, unlike before, I feel there to be a genuine connection here where we can both have a positive influence on each other. I don't need her to help me out with anything, I don't need advice, I don't feel she completes a half i was missing or anything. I just would like her to be there :|. And as far as that, I'm not looking for anything temporary. I'd like that to go as long as it can. If it will, I don't know (who does?).



P.S. That sucks about your phone malfunctioning and calling her multiple times! HUG. Sorry that this situation has been disappointing and caused you anxiety.

I know, I do have bad luck of comical proportions :|.
 

Cloudpatrol

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I'm hoping for something that'd give both of us a peace of mind.

Hmmm, you know what? I really like everything you wrote here. That is a neat answer: concretely open-ended (grin).

It's a little hard to explain but there was an incredible ease to the way we talked (whenever we did lol) and a lot of comfort without the need for walking on any eggshells.

Cool. I actually think EXTP/INFX can be compelling combo's (if both reasonably mature).


Previously, and most notably the last one, I literally had to apply a multitude of filters on the things I'd say on the off chance that I'd piss her off and whenever we hung out (noticed in retrospection).

I hear ya. Have been through something similar and instead of easy and rewarding, it's exhausting.

Much more satisfying when a connection flows!!

So unlike all that, I was totally enthralled with the amount of maturity this girl possesses and how she handles things. I think she can easily tell when I'm serious or when I kid around. But, most importantly, she took a keen interest in my idea of writing for videogames. Writing here isn't really taken seriously and videogames haven't picked up much and everybody here still considers them to be playtime for kids, and most ridicule the idea. When I showed her videos of some games like The Last Guardian, etc., I could tell she was genuinely interested. She commented on where the artists drew inspirations from for the background architecture and everything. She was curious. She said she even saw some videos of games I mentioned as passing comment.

I admired her from your OP. She has a LOT on her plate but is enterprising and is welcoming life despite past disappointments. I also appreciated her communication with you. Your interaction here sounds really enjoyable. I get why it is still on your brain.

That meant A LOT. Like I had been fighting against everyone (I quit a really high-profile job for this and only told my parents 2 months after doing so, I still haven't told them where I live currently because I know I'll be forced to an awkward confrontation... This is ironic isn't it? XD).

Wow. Kudos for pursuing something you are passionate about and making sacrifices for. Maybe your parents will be more chill with it when they see you are doing okay and can be successfully self-sufficient?

I understand why you have been having some anxiety. You have been dealing with a lot too...job change...break-up...romantic confusion...

tl;dr, unlike before, I feel there to be a genuine connection here where we can both have a positive influence on each other. I don't need her to help me out with anything, I don't need advice, I don't feel she completes a half i was missing or anything. I just would like her to be there :|. And as far as that, I'm not looking for anything temporary. I'd like that to go as long as it can. If it will, I don't know (who does?).

Right. I am hearing you. Your expectations sound entirely reasonable.


I of course, have no idea where SHE currently stands. That is frustrating isn't it? Uncertainty? I can only echo what [MENTION=29314]Novella[/MENTION] said on the first page (that was a stellar post) re: this being an intense time and her needing time to heal. Are you ok with being a bit patient and not having instant-gratification, even if the outcome is unknown?


If so, I WOULD touch base every once in a while, in a very simple manner. Just to say hello, let her know you listened to what she said but you are available to offer friendly support, and let her know something going on with you. It offers the opportunity to stay in touch, lets her see how you feel and grants her the dignity of figuring things she is facing out.


But, take care of yourself too, k? Seems like you have a nice sense of humour (smile) and a good head on your shoulders. You can still be open to getting to know other people as well. "Exploring" as you said. If you don't find another connection like the one with her, maybe in time something can happen between the two of you.


I wish you all the best!! Hope to see you around the forum.
 

PalebloodHunter

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Wow. Kudos for pursuing something you are passionate about and making sacrifices for. Maybe your parents will be more chill with it when they see you are doing okay and can be successfully self-sufficient?

I understand why you have been having some anxiety. You have been dealing with a lot too...job change...break-up...romantic confusion...

Thanks a lot :). Things have simmered down for the most part. A bit of a detour here but my parents weren't completely at fault since I never really communicated to them how seriously I wanted to pursue what I wanted (i usually have a passing interest in things). Dad's a highly qualified scientist and my brother is hugely successful with a job that dwarfed mine completely. I went to a premier college too, but I got bad grades while in there. I was bad at my job too. Basically went through 8 years ( 3 years prep + 4 college + 1 job) doing things I didn't want to and being in company I never felt at home with. So, once I got the bonus payslip for completing a year, I decided to quit job and freelance a bit. I had written stuff before for small production houses in spare time. Through comical timing, I got a freelance gig at this really big webseries firm. They didn't pay much however. I thought I could work around for a while. However, one of the guys always threw my scripts back at my face saying my writing was awful and i was too self-absorbed, and it showed. This was when things went into a mess as they cancelled the contract. I thought I was a terrible writer as well. Luckily the day before, one of the people there gave me a lead into the company that I'd currently start working for. It eventually paid better and had some great folks who love my work (like seriously, now I'm simultaneously working on 2 projects and I get to even write background scenarios). On the company anniversary, they also sent my parents some flowers and keep sending regular dose of love. My parents are slowly warming up to it. In fact, I'm actually going to meet them in my hometown this week after a whole year xD. Idk what'll happen but eh, worst case I'll just have a dislocated shoulder.

As for the break-up... I'll say I eventually got closure that left me pretty satisfied. Things are starting to look up. It's just this girl... you're right, this really happened in unfavourable circumstances xD.

/detour


this being an intense time and her needing time to heal. Are you ok with being a bit patient and not having instant-gratification, even if the outcome is unknown?

I have absolutely no issues with that. I'm thinking of contacting her in February perhaps, good two weeks from now. She can have all the time she needs. I'm no stranger to waiting lol, I've waited 10 years for Final Fantasy XV and The Last Guardian and been coping with Persona 5 being delayed ever since 2014 and .... idk where I'm going with this.

Yeah, I can wait :).

If so, I WOULD touch base every once in a while, in a very simple manner. Just to say hello, let her know you listened to what she said but you are available to offer friendly support, and let her know something going on with you. It offers the opportunity to stay in touch, lets her see how you feel and grants her the dignity of figuring things she is facing out.

Seems like the wisest thing to do atm. :)

But, take care of yourself too, k? Seems like you have a nice sense of humour (smile) and a good head on your shoulders. You can still be open to getting to know other people as well. "Exploring" as you said. If you don't find another connection like the one with her, maybe in time something can happen between the two of you.

Thanks, I'll fare well. Well I did meet quite a few women since break-ups and have found quite a few interesting folks while hanging out in bars, etc. But after a while, it felt kinda hollow, y'know? Let's see. Whatever happens, happens.

I wish you all the best!! Hope to see you around the forum.

I just wanted to give a shout out to all you wonderful folks out here. You guys really helped ease my mind on this issue and think rationally. I also think I'm understanding her more while not in touch as well (ofc this could all be wrong but I think most people are on the right track here). Surely, I'll be around :D.

Cheers!
 

PalebloodHunter

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GUYS, guys, guys guys guys guys.... guys.

So, I was at my hometown arguing with my dad as usual when I decided to hang out with few of my friends. On the way, you won't even believe it, I actually bumped into her studio. Bahaha.

I took a pic of it and sent it to her. She actually responded, and was pleasantly surprised. We chatted a bit before I slowly crept in all the things you all said about understanding her position and being there as a friend. She was again pleasantly surprised. I asked if we could just continue talking as friends, if nothing more , she replied "of course". So, things have cooled down a bit I think :).

The visit to hometown really got my spirits up. Excuse me while I tell my lead writer to go f*** himself!
 
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