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  1. #1
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    Default Trying to understand ISTJ men...!!

    Hi. I'm not sure where to post this thread but I just have a quick something to ask...

    I am an INFP female and I really like this ISTJ male. We have known each other for 6 months.

    I know from reading other other posts on ISTJ's that they aren't the best at written communication. I struggle to find out if he has feelings for me but I'm not the most confident person so I don't want to just ask him.

    I'm going to visit the city he lives in this weekend and I messaged him a while back asking if he wanted to meet up. He replied saying he should be free and for me to let him know which day would be best for me. I replied saying the day. I haven't had a response and it's been a few weeks. I didn't ask him a specific question but I feel i can't ask him because I don't want to seem like I'm nagging him. Does he just presume we are meeting and hasn't thought to double check with me?!
    Can anyone give me some advice. Sorry if this seems like a dumb question.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    militat omnis amans magpie's Avatar
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    "Hey, are we still meeting up?" <--- try saying that
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  3. #3
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    Yeah was thinking I should just do that. Think after weighing I think up I'd regret it more not to reach out and ask as maybe I'm just over reacting

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    Yeah was thinking I should just do that. Think after weighing I think up I'd regret it more not to reach out and ask as maybe I'm just over reacting
    At least with my ISTJ friend, he sometimes doesn't respond because the information is already laid out in his mind. He's more likely to respond if there is a scheduling conflict.

    In your friend's mind, he asked what day and you gave him a day. He probably didn't see an issue and didn't think to or forgot to confirm. All you need to do is double check.

  5. #5
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    Thank you! Yeah that's what I think has happened because typical me has been thinking all the reasons why I may have put him off replying. I always over think everything which sucks. Don't know if it's an INFP thing or just me
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  6. #6
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Barge in like an ESFP.

  7. #7
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    You could always grab him by the genitals and see what happens. Precedent has been set now saying this is something most people don't really consider a problem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    Thank you! Yeah that's what I think has happened because typical me has been thinking all the reasons why I may have put him off replying. I always over think everything which sucks. Don't know if it's an INFP thing or just me
    That sounds pretty normal for having a crudh or an attraction to someone in general.

  9. #9
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    Well I've sent a short question just checking if he is free to meet. Just curious, what are the big give away signs of ISTJ'S liking someone? I know they are more 'actions speak louder than words' people but what kind of actions? He is the first ISTJ I've properly known outside my close friends and family circle so don't know much about them

  10. #10
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    Well I've sent a short question just checking if he is free to meet. Just curious, what are the big give away signs of ISTJ'S liking someone? I know they are more 'actions speak louder than words' people but what kind of actions? He is the first ISTJ I've properly known outside my close friends and family circle so don't know much about them
    Start slow. Maybe just focus on meeting up for now. From a presumed ISTJ, just being the one to take the initiative and say 'hey, what time/ place on day x were you thinking?' would mean a LOT.

    Trust me, I'm a doctor ISTJ with ESFP best friend.
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