User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 25

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    10

    Default Please shed some light on ENFP - INFJ situation

    Hi guys,

    INFJ here who was dating ENFP male. The relationship started intense from the beginning, driven by ENFP who seemed to be crazy about me. In true INFJ fashion I held back since I felt we were moving too fast and I wanted to know him better. As time passed my feelings started to grow and I started to fall for him. He might be "the one". We understood eachother so well, great chemistry and convos. I really loved being with him, his child like enthusiasm. He also said he has never felt in peace like this with anyone.

    After 3 months we were so in love. Everything was beautiful. Until one night. He went away for this work trip and when he returned he wasnt the same. I noticed and asked whats wrong. It took him 2 days to tell me that at this trip he had met someone who had "rocked his world". This girl is 15 years younger and lives in another country. He said he wasnt sure things would work out between them but he couldnt ignore how he felt and that had made him realise him and I were not "meant to be".

    I was beyond shocked. I could barely breathe. Its taken months for me to get back to life. I cant eat, I cant function. All I think of is WHY?? Why he did this. Why I wasnt enough? I still love him so much and just cant understand. I know few months isnt a long time but to me the emotional bond was so strong. Apparently not for him??!!

    Recently I found out he has joined dating sites. So I guess his long distance dream girl didnt work out. But that hurts even more. That he dumped me and what we had for loneliness and dating sites?? Like was it THAT bad??

    I cant talk to him Im too hurt. Anyone has any help on what on earth is this ENFP thinking? Why did he do this? Are they always so flaky? Did I dream our relationship??

  2. #2
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,862

    Default

    Is this chado?

    Anyway,

    rocked his world -> meant to be

    Either: the person had an affair so broke it often rather than admitting what he had done

    or

    He realised that there are people that he connects better with than his girlfriend, and so knew that marriage would not work out in the long run.

    However, option b) seems to not explain the break up, and I see that you neglected to include the information regarding the break up itself.

    So, either he had an affair and was too ashamed to admit it, or the girl in question was not the reason.

    He may have had work commitments.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    10

    Default

    He explained to me that reason for breakup was option b. That he realised he wouldnt have felt that way if I was the one. If that was unclear.
    But WTF he just met this girl! After few hours he knows "they connect"?? Hello are you living on this planet. Or what was he doing with me then anyway if we didnt connect so well? I could have lived without!

  4. #4
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,862

    Default

    Option b) doesn't make sense, as I said. Would you only date a person if you were going to marry them? Would he stop dating a person if he knew he wasn't?

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    10

    Default

    Im trying to understand typical ENFP behaviour here. The fact that "he just realised he isnt going to marry you" is nothing but a surface.

  6. #6
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,862

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lvly1 View Post
    Im trying to understand typical ENFP behaviour here. The fact that "he just realised he isnt going to marry you" is nothing but a surface.
    Yeah, that's what I just said.

    Isn't it?

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    10

    Default

    [QUOTE=Legion;2719576]Yeah, that's what I just said.

    Isn't it?[/QUOTE


    Yes so what is it. I didnt do anything wrong. We didnt argue. All I did was love and support him.

  8. #8
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,862

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lvly1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Legion View Post
    Yeah, that's what I just said.

    Isn't it?

    Yes so what is it. I didnt do anything wrong. We didnt argue. All I did was love and support him.
    As I said earlier, you are leaving out rather important information, such as the breaking up bit. What did he say when he broke up with you, what were the circumstances? Explain a bit further.

    And again, I gave the possible explanation that he may have had work commitments and not have been able to maintain the relationship.

    Apart from that, you'll have to - or at least it would seem beneficial - to provide further information.

  9. #9
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,862

    Default

    I should include that I am going to have trouble understanding the motivations behind breaking up with a person.

    I have had some online relationships that I ended due to becoming scared. These relationships were mostly based on text - typically without even video-calling.

    So, having not broken up with anyone that I have been in a relationship with physically, that may prevent me from forming a viable conclusion.

    --

    Actually wait, that's not true, there was one time that I actually did break up with someone I was in a physical relationship. They broke up with me first and reluctantly took me back, however showed no interest from what I could tell at that point, so I ended it myself.

    So I have broken up with someone before!

    Cool, I actually have.

    --

    Not that you care about my life story xD

    I just figured it could be relevant information to take into account when looking at my responses.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    10

    Default

    Well he just called and dumped me quickly. Didnt want to discuss much. He was just quiet not adding much. Work is not the issue he only works part time. He just made his decision, told me and wanted out. Just-like-that. To me that was so impulsive and mindless. Im thinking he must be on drugs or something lol

Similar Threads

  1. [ISFP] ISFP confuses me-- shed some light?
    By markscol in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 12-07-2016, 04:49 AM
  2. [INFJ] Some questions for fellow infjs :)
    By Penguin in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-02-2009, 08:25 PM
  3. [MBTItm] I need some advice on ENFPs/ENFJs/ESFPs/ESFJs
    By nanashi in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-31-2008, 01:58 AM
  4. [MBTItm] I need some advice on ESFPs/ESFJs/ENFPs/ENFJs
    By nanashi in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-25-2008, 02:47 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO