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  1. #1
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    Default Cat on Dog: Same type relationships, yay or nay?

    I was just wondering what the general or overall opinions on same...s..types are like?

    I was mostly just asking because it's not all that commonly talked about and I think almost everyone expects or only talks about the compatibility of two different types altogether, but never the same ones. Obviously since SJ's are considered to be the most commonly prevalent types, it would seem to me the that perhaps there are many of the same SJ types together, but then never for any others? I get this feeling that maybe to a lot of people it's though of as this 'gross' and 'icky' area that not many like to touch on or even think about, but I've noticed lately that I actually like INFP women and find that I quite enjoy their company. It was sort of unexpected for me since we are the same type, but I find some of them attractive. I feel sometimes like the dynamic between genders are enough to really warrant differences.

    Anyway, I mostly have read that it's not advisable, or left kind of vague and neutral; but I remember one article that stood out to me about how it could actually be a very fulfilling and satisfying relationships because the two INFPs would generally find what they want most in their respective partners. I guess I just like that feeling or sense of their being no jagged conflict or adversity and having a deep understanding of one another....(but of course, not being completely the same, no one is)


    Isn't that sometimes how it goes?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Verona's Avatar
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    I have also read that it isn't advisable but I don't think I agree with that. Even though you would share the same theoretical weaknesses, I think having a deep understanding of each other would help balance that out. I think compatibility is more complex than just finding a good MBTI type match. My husband and I are both Fi-doms and it has been a great match for us. Yes there are some weaknesses like we aren't super social and we can be a bit disorganized and forgetful but having that connection and understanding is totally worth it for us. I think maybe the risk is if you don't ever challenge each other to grow but I think that is a choice you can make in your life no matter what type your partner is.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Verona View Post
    I have also read that it isn't advisable but I don't think I agree with that. Even though you would share the same theoretical weaknesses, I think having a deep understanding of each other would help balance that out. I think compatibility is more complex than just finding a good MBTI type match. My husband and I are both Fi-doms and it has been a great match for us. Yes there are some weaknesses like we aren't super social and we can be a bit disorganized and forgetful but having that connection and understanding is totally worth it for us. I think maybe the risk is if you don't ever challenge each other to grow but I think that is a choice you can make in your life no matter what type your partner is.
    Yeah but "challenge each other" to what extent and what reason? I've read that it's actually better to work on your strengths then always trying to cover up for your weakness, of course for obvious reasons you'' just achieve mediocrity.
    Also in regards to balancing or weakness and strengths, by what measure or or standard is that being applied from?

    Because above all, one must be practical and pragmatic, correct? that is our cultural ideal and we must always take people down a peg who get too lofty in their thoughts or actions for their own good.


    At least, that's almost how it seems to me.


    Practical people are practical yes, but for all other things there's degrees of difference's.
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    I MEAN, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO MAKES UP FOR YOUR WEAK POINTS, BUT COME ON IS THAT LOVE!??? IS THAT IT!?!??? that's lame.

    But yeah, I guess it dose go beyond MBTI sort of and I think people use labels like this to define themselves or stop self development all too much. (but I think people are okay being themselves as well, no one is perfect)
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    Sweet Summer Child yama's Avatar
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    It's no secret that I'm a slut for ISTJs.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Verona's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackout View Post
    I MEAN, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO MAKES UP FOR YOUR WEAK POINTS, BUT COME ON IS THAT LOVE!??? IS THAT IT!?!??? that's lame.

    But yeah, I guess it dose go beyond MBTI sort of and I think people use labels like this to define themselves or stop self development all too much. (but I think people are okay being themselves as well, no one is perfect)
    Even people within the same type are very different so everyone is going to bring different things to the table anyway. I think in a long-term relationship/family situation it can be helpful if someone in the relationship has certain strengths but I agree that is not enough of a basis for love.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Verona View Post
    Even people within the same type are very different so everyone is going to bring different things to the table anyway. I think in a long-term relationship/family situation it can be helpful if someone in the relationship has certain strengths but I agree that is not enough of a basis for love.
    Well it's just that, no offense to anyone but I think function wise we can kind of be at odds with the world, and I don't know if many other types really desire or care for finding genuine love and romance. Everyone sort of just wants whatever "works" and is the most practical and easy coming fit. I know that's why especially why INFP's everyone think they need to be reprimanded or reminded of how their differences are just vague and obviously faults that they should be ashamed of all the time, but I really wonder if it's always the case and simply maybe cultural norms and expectations that aren't always that forthcoming or desired and preferred.


    I mean especially function wise, I see most other people relating, but then we just rub against the grain far too much or something, and I can't help but think that every other side is considered a balancing plank, or has conventional strong suits and recognize traits that are seen as being desirable or useful in a romantic relationship, but with INFPs were not really useful to anyone. Especially if you're a man, though perhaps in regards to being a women it's a lot easier to fall into more traditional gender roles and the like.


    I mean I've talked to T-women about what they like
    "Oh, TOO SENSITIVE, SORRY INFP (though some say they like us, "SENSITIVE MEN")

    A lot of SJ's it's probably "TOO DISORGANIZED, NOT PRACTICAL, NOT TRADITIONALLY MANLY ENOUGH"

    And then there's the whole Fe sabbatical, and sorry but we can just seriously clash; same if you are not extroverted enough. A lot of people still don't really understand or can understand introverts.



    I almost think that just being an INFP male really puts you into an out place. Men are supposed to be the thinking, judging, extroverted and maybe even practical types. INFP males are like the complete opposite of that, and it sort of makes the whole gender relating work in a completely different way.

    And that's the thing too, I'm not a woman and I don't like people telling me how I feel think or trying to give me advice on how I should live my life and things like that. I don't want to always be reminded that I'm not practical enough when it's because I just don't care most of the time and choose to not be.

  8. #8
    Talk to me. Merced's Avatar
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    I don't think I have cultivated a relationship with any other ENFPs, be it platonic or romantic. The few people who I think that may be ENFPs are very draining to me, as they resemble the "lol so randumb" stereotype. Now if we are talking enneagram, something I am still new to but very fascinated by, I haven't met any other 2w3s in real life. In theory, they would be awesome to be around though.

    Just a thought, but I don't think NFs do well with each other. I can tolerate ENFJs in one on one scenarios (not so much in social situations though), but pretty much every INFJ I know is extremely sensitive and hard to deal with and most INFPs I talk to are always some level of 'trying too hard'. I understand that the few I know in real life don't represent all of the people of that type, but it is still an observation. Then again, this could be partly because my inner circle is filled with entirely thinking types aside from me.
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarcasmsunshine View Post
    I don't think I have cultivated a relationship with any other ENFPs, be it platonic or romantic. The few people who I think that may be ENFPs are very draining to me, as they resemble the "lol so randumb" stereotype. Now if we are talking enneagram, something I am still new to but very fascinated by, I haven't met any other 2w3s in real life. In theory, they would be awesome to be around though.

    Just a thought, but I don't think NFs do well with each other. I can tolerate ENFJs in one on one scenarios (not so much in social situations though), but pretty much every INFJ I know is extremely sensitive and hard to deal with and most INFPs I talk to are always some level of 'trying too hard'. I understand that the few I know in real life don't represent all of the people of that type, but it is still an observation. Then again, this could be partly because my inner circle is filled with entirely thinking types aside from me.
    Well that's probably a bit of a personal preference or the kinds of traits that you admire and personally respect the most.

    But yeah, I have had weird experiences with other NF's. I guess I am just so not used to knowing other NF's that when I find them it's so startling and surprising it can be hard to get used to, but I don't know if I'd say it's a bad thing. But yes, with some of them the emotionality and some of the metaphysical stuff can be a bit much, but I don't know if I would say I don't get along with them.


    I guess it's not really all that much to do with type functions (but in my last post I was just speaking strictly on that level) but...it almost just seems like on some level, certain people are either compatible or they are not, and it's hard to really pin-point what it is.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Verona's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackout View Post
    Well it's just that, no offense to anyone but I think function wise we can kind of be at odds with the world, and I don't know if many other types really desire or care for finding genuine love and romance. Everyone sort of just wants whatever "works" and is the most practical and easy coming fit. I know that's why especially why INFP's everyone think they need to be reprimanded or reminded of how their differences are just vague and obviously faults that they should be ashamed of all the time, but I really wonder if it's always the case and simply maybe cultural norms and expectations that aren't always that forthcoming or desired and preferred.


    I mean especially function wise, I see most other people relating, but then we just rub against the grain far too much or something, and I can't help but think that every other side is considered a balancing plank, or has conventional strong suits and recognize traits that are seen as being desirable or useful in a romantic relationship, but with INFPs were not really useful to anyone. Especially if you're a man, though perhaps in regards to being a women it's a lot easier to fall into more traditional gender roles and the like.


    I mean I've talked to T-women about what they like
    "Oh, TOO SENSITIVE, SORRY INFP (though some say they like us, "SENSITIVE MEN")

    A lot of SJ's it's probably "TOO DISORGANIZED, NOT PRACTICAL, NOT TRADITIONALLY MANLY ENOUGH"

    And then there's the whole Fe sabbatical, and sorry but we can just seriously clash; same if you are not extroverted enough. A lot of people still don't really understand or can understand introverts.



    I almost think that just being an INFP male really puts you into an out place. Men are supposed to be the thinking, judging, extroverted and maybe even practical types. INFP males are like the complete opposite of that, and it sort of makes the whole gender relating work in a completely different way.

    And that's the thing too, I'm not a woman and I don't like people telling me how I feel think or trying to give me advice on how I should live my life and things like that. I don't want to always be reminded that I'm not practical enough when it's because I just don't care most of the time and choose to not be.
    I have a lot of respect for INFP males. Even as a woman it is difficult being so "sensitive" and I have been ridiculed many times. I would recommend SFPs as potential partners. They understand and respect Fi feelings and add adventure to your life. The only downside is you might end up being the more responsible one in the relationship

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