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  1. #1
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    Default Really confused!!! Please help!

    Hello,

    I'm not dating this guy but trying to figure him out. He is an ISTJ and I'm an INFP. We met about a month ago and I felt we had a connection. He went out of his way to spend time with me and I felt we flirted a lot. When we spent time in groups I could tell he looked over at me a lot and whenever he talked he would look at me and smile.

    Anyway long story short I know he is really stressed at the moment as he is preparing for lots of essays and exams but I sent him a message (without questions) just saying a few of us from a group of people we know are meeting up so I wanted to let him know. He read the message but hasn't replied!! It's been over a week. I haven't sent him another message. I have friends who are ISTJ's and they say to me that I need to be direct as he may not know I'm into him unless I spell it out. I don't know if he is into me and I'm afraid to ask him.

    Can anyone give me advice? I'm so confused. I don't know if he is thinking of replying or even interests in me at all. My friends who know him said they though he liked me but he was always very reserved emotionally I guess.

  2. #2
    I wanna fcken feel right Numbly Aware's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    Hello,

    I'm not dating this guy but trying to figure him out. He is an ISTJ and I'm an INFP. We met about a month ago and I felt we had a connection. He went out of his way to spend time with me and I felt we flirted a lot. When we spent time in groups I could tell he looked over at me a lot and whenever he talked he would look at me and smile.

    Anyway long story short I know he is really stressed at the moment as he is preparing for lots of essays and exams but I sent him a message (without questions) just saying a few of us from a group of people we know are meeting up so I wanted to let him know. He read the message but hasn't replied!! It's been over a week. I haven't sent him another message. I have friends who are ISTJ's and they say to me that I need to be direct as he may not know I'm into him unless I spell it out. I don't know if he is into me and I'm afraid to ask him.

    Can anyone give me advice? I'm so confused. I don't know if he is thinking of replying or even interests in me at all. My friends who know him said they though he liked me but he was always very reserved emotionally I guess.
    Sometimes you have to work the guy over.... like, um, does he have a girlfriend? He'd probably be a little distant
    In my experience, ISTJs.... sort of don't mind when u feed them attention.
    Act like a baby almost... since they will be very serious and eventually break in.
    When I talk with mine, I avoid "deep" subjects since they just stare at u like, "What?" I talk about evrything and anything... usually the more silly, the more they open up to you and give u the "okay". They don't like to open their emtions easily.
    A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR NEVER DID ANYONE HARM. LOL unless it's unbearable..... INFPs are adorable and will probably woo an ISTJ's heart over.
    One step ahead from yesterday~

  3. #3
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    Thanks for your advice.

    I know for a fact he is single. Don't think he has ever had a real relationship before. He is definitely more career minded than me but I don't mind that, actually it's weirdly attractive.

    He looks up to my Dad a lot as they are both in the same field of work.

    So you think I should just go ahead and start a convo again?
    Likes Cloudpatrol liked this post

  4. #4
    I wanna fcken feel right Numbly Aware's Avatar
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    He is definitely more career minded than me..
    Ah, a serious one... dear me.

    ..I don't mind that, actually it's weirdly attractive.
    Agreed

    I know for a fact he is single. Don't think he has ever had a real relationship before.
    Checkkkkkk....

    He looks up to my Dad a lot as they are both in the same field of work.
    Go for the kill.
    Last edited by Numbly Aware; 05-15-2016 at 03:38 PM.
    One step ahead from yesterday~

  5. #5
    I wanna fcken feel right Numbly Aware's Avatar
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    Are you sure he's an ISTJ?
    Cause I thought the guy I was head over heels for was an ISTJ... He actually was an ENTJ.
    And he didn't particularly like being "bothered"
    One step ahead from yesterday~

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    Hello,

    I'm not dating this guy but trying to figure him out. He is an ISTJ and I'm an INFP. We met about a month ago and I felt we had a connection. He went out of his way to spend time with me and I felt we flirted a lot. When we spent time in groups I could tell he looked over at me a lot and whenever he talked he would look at me and smile.

    Anyway long story short I know he is really stressed at the moment as he is preparing for lots of essays and exams but I sent him a message (without questions) just saying a few of us from a group of people we know are meeting up so I wanted to let him know. He read the message but hasn't replied!! It's been over a week. I haven't sent him another message. I have friends who are ISTJ's and they say to me that I need to be direct as he may not know I'm into him unless I spell it out. I don't know if he is into me and I'm afraid to ask him.

    Can anyone give me advice? I'm so confused. I don't know if he is thinking of replying or even interests in me at all. My friends who know him said they though he liked me but he was always very reserved emotionally I guess.
    Try asking him to go do something that you think he may like. Such as, sending a text that says, "hey, wanna go... ?"
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  7. #7
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    He is a definite Introvert!! Needs alot of alone time and finds crowds very stressful and tiring. I think he is the kind of person that you have a spell things out to as I felt one day he seemed clingy to me one minute and as soon as I gave someone else attention he went cold on me. Then when I spoke to him I felt he was being a lot more reserved. Very weird but he doesn't have much self confidence even though he is a really good looking guy and I can tell he has a kind heart which is what I like a lot about him. I feel I can open up to him about anything and be myself which I'm not normally because I'm afraid to open up. I have built a wall vey high since being hurt and don't let many people in but I couldn't help letting him in. He listened to me so well and I felt he got me and we had chemistry. I know this sounds cheesy but I've never felt like this about someone

  8. #8
    I wanna fcken feel right Numbly Aware's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    He is a definite Introvert!! Needs alot of alone time and finds crowds very stressful and tiring. I think he is the kind of person that you have a spell things out to as I felt one day he seemed clingy to me one minute and as soon as I gave someone else attention he went cold on me. Then when I spoke to him I felt he was being a lot more reserved. Very weird but he doesn't have much self confidence even though he is a really good looking guy and I can tell he has a kind heart which is what I like a lot about him. I feel I can open up to him about anything and be myself which I'm not normally because I'm afraid to open up. I have built a wall vey high since being hurt and don't let many people in but I couldn't help letting him in. He listened to me so well and I felt he got me and we had chemistry. I know this sounds cheesy but I've never felt like this about someone
    Yeah, they tend to do that, as if giving someone else attention is a form of betrayal. (I think this is a TJ thing) lol
    Have you confessed your love to him? He might just brush it off as joke.
    One step ahead from yesterday~

  9. #9
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    No way. I don't think I love him but I really like him. I have only known him for a month and we live about 3hrs from one another. I just don't know how he feels but I'm not normally one to ask as the idea of asking scares me. I'm in two minds about it because I know it would be best to know but I also know it takes time for ISTJ's to find out their feelings and he may be backing away from me because he needs time to think. I don't want to ruin it but I know I should find out as its not helping me not knowing.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    Try asking him to go do something that you think he may like. Such as, sending a text that says, "hey, wanna go... ?"
    Yeah but...ISTJ will ask "what for"
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

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