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  1. #1
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    Default How to show an ENFJ I like her

    I'm an INTP and I have met an ENFJ who I'm interested in. I met her at 2 social gatherings. She's been very friendly with me, and has initiated conversations a couple times. I'm pretty reserved with people I don't know well. We did talk for a long time one on one. But, likely she wouldn't know from my actions if I like her, unless she is really good at reading me. I joke around some. That and my talking with her for a long time would probably be the only clues, which isn't much. My only indicators that she might like me are that she makes a point to get into a conversation with me, says hi if I walk by and laughs at my jokes. Beyond that, it's just my intuition, which tends to be pretty good, but there's nothing concrete to point to there.

    Anyway, I would like to know from an ENFJ perspective especially, what are some things I can do to indicate I like her? I know I can just ask her out. But I'd like to see if this can go beyond friendly conversation first. What about getting into dating or relationship topics? I know she broke up with someone a few months ago and is probably single now. I don't know what an ENFJ would think is too nosy. I'm pretty private myself. But if someone started talking to me about those subjects, I'd wonder if they liked me.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Well I'm not an ENFJ but ...I suppose that with Fe dominant she already knows you want her

    First of all stop thinking you are running the risk to seem "nosey" and all will be fine with you INTP !
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExNinjaTropPervertie View Post
    Well I'm not an ENFJ but ...I suppose that with Fe dominant she already knows you want her

    First of all stop thinking you are running the risk to seem "nosey" and all will be fine with you INTP !
    Thanks. How do ENFJs tell when someone likes them? Don't we all have some doubt until one person makes it very clear? I guess I'm trying to bridge the gap between the point of being interested in someone who I had a couple conversations with, to the point of where it is obvious that one of us is interested.

  4. #4
    Senior Member D'Ascoyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP! View Post
    Thanks. How do ENFJs tell when someone likes them? Don't we all have some doubt until one person makes it very clear? I guess I'm trying to bridge the gap between the point of being interested in someone who I had a couple conversations with, to the point of where it is obvious that one of us is interested.
    They just know! It's weird and amazing. I wish I knew how they know, too. Let's see if the ENFJs comment on this thread and let us in on their special ways.

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    Quote Originally Posted by D'Ascoyne View Post
    They just know! It's weird and amazing. I wish I knew how they know, too. Let's see if the ENFJs comment on this thread and let us in on their special ways.
    Yes, I'd like them to say. I was wondering if it has something to do with the volume of interactions they have with people. Or they are experts on reading feelings.

    I sometimes just know too, but I'm also have doubts, when I like someone, thinking I might be trying to see something that's not there. That rarely happens though. My just knowing is based on things non verbal, like expressions on their face when they see me, their actions and non verbal reactions to things I say. I've also been known to take things too much at face value, like getting asked to hang out one on one, means that they just want to have someone to do an activity with, when the real meaning is to move towards something romantic.

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    One thing I haven't done that I should, is indicate I'm single. First time I met her I was in a relationship. I talked to another girl and told her that I was planning on hanging out with my gf for the rest of the day. Then I saw the 2 of them talking a lot. They probably didn't talk about me, but who knows. So I should fit into the next conversation something about how I am now single.
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    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP! View Post
    Thanks. How do ENFJs tell when someone likes them? Don't we all have some doubt until one person makes it very clear? I guess I'm trying to bridge the gap between the point of being interested in someone who I had a couple conversations with, to the point of where it is obvious that one of us is interested.
    They just know and they're really sure. My ENFJ wasn't like in my face overt about it but he made it clear he was very fond of me. I think he actually used those words too - I'm very fond of you. I don't know how much of this was him alone or me being blunt about liking him.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    They just know and they're really sure. My ENFJ wasn't like in my face overt about it but he made it clear he was very fond of me. I think he actually used those words too - I'm very fond of you. I don't know how much of this was him alone or me being blunt about liking him.
    Wow, that's interesting. So this girl is continuing to talk to me after she knows that I like her? Now I feel kind of embarrassed. Would an ENFJ remain just as friendly to someone who they knew liked them if they didn't like them back?

    There is just one issue which would hold this back for a while. She disclosed that she is still living with her Ex and are in the process of selling the house they bought together. I wouldn't want to start to date her while she is living with her Ex (not married and no kids). Although it seemed pretty clear they are living separate lives. It's just not very good circumstances.

    The good part is that I have opportunities to hang out with her over the next couple of months where we can get to know each other outside of dating.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP! View Post
    Wow, that's interesting. So this girl is continuing to talk to me after she knows that I like her? Now I feel kind of embarrassed. Would an ENFJ remain just as friendly to someone who they knew liked them if they didn't like them back?

    There is just one issue which would hold this back for a while. She disclosed that she is still living with her Ex and are in the process of selling the house they bought together. I wouldn't want to start to date her while she is living with her Ex (not married and no kids). Although it seemed pretty clear they are living separate lives. It's just not very good circumstances.

    The good part is that I have opportunities to hang out with her over the next couple of months where we can get to know each other outside of dating.
    I don't think an ENFJ would be just as friendly if they didn't like you back. I agree with your call on her living with her ex. Yes it's a technicality but you can't force yourself to be comfortable if you aren't. Definitely take advantage of the next couple months. Get to know her better and let her get to know you (I know that part isn't always easy for introverts).
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  10. #10
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    pull blank in front of her and give her a rose. I mean take of all your clothes and give her a rose. If she doesnt like it she is no enfj
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]
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