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  1. #1
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Default Deferring to others

    Do you defer to others in certain situations? More specifically - do you recognise when a situation might call for your least favourite function (or function combo) and how do you go about dealing with that situation?

    So, Fi users - when do you ask for Ti-user's help? Or don't you at all and why? And of course ,vice versa, Ti users - when, if ever, is Fi a better choice and do you actually ask a trusted Fi-user for help at that point?

    Si users - what about Ni? And again, vice versa

    What about Fe and Te?

    etc...


    And how hard is it to relinquish your pride - do you even go there, if it's your dom function or even your aux?

    What about instead of going for the counterpart, settling for the extraverted or introverted cousin because it's part of your stack as well?


    Curious minds want to know
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”
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  2. #2
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    If a really delicate situation comes up, I always pass this to my much more diplomatic ENFJ (Fe). On the other side, if a situation needs a more ruthless approach, this is my specialty (Fi to a large degree and Te). I believe in using the best person to fit the job, whatever that may be. I don't think it ever hurts to observe and learn from other types that help develop shadow or weaker functions in yourself and vice versa. This is partially giving up pride but it's just a smart thing to do. The more you know, right?

    Is my Fe ever going to rival an ENFJ? Haha no but I don't think it's nearly the basement function it was at one time for me.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    If a really delicate situation comes up, I always pass this to my much more diplomatic ENFJ (Fe). On the other side, if a situation needs a more ruthless approach, this is my specialty (Fi to a large degree and Te). I believe in using the best person to fit the job, whatever that may be. I don't think it ever hurts to observe and learn from other types that help develop shadow or weaker functions in yourself and vice versa. This is partially giving up pride but it's just a smart thing to do. The more you know, right?

    Is my Fe ever going to rival an ENFJ? Haha no but I don't think it's nearly the basement function it was at one time for me.
    I have the same system with mine at home.

    And I do defer to him if he's around for Ti things as well, but if my INTP friend is around, Im likely to ask him because he actually can go in depth into explaining to me the things I don't naturally see myself and he has the patience to walk me through his inner world and though process and make me see the logic system behind it that will show me how to solve it next time myself. Meanwhile, my INTJ doesn't 'show proof' (Ni), he just crunches out the result I need (Te)
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  4. #4
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    For me there's no pride when it comes to tasks/chores. I'm lazy so if you think you can do it better - go ahead!

    Te isn't my INFP's strong point either, but when it comes out it can be really handy, especially when I'm trying to pack, which is one thing I'm really, really bad at.

    Fe: But shouldn't I pack this as well because if this happens and that person forgets that then it would be great if I have spare one to lend them? And maybe an extra this and that and a few more of those? And maybe pack my green jacket too because I know this person has a green one as and we might want to match?
    Te: Nope. No room.
    Fe: What about extra socks?
    Te: NO.
    4w5 sp/sx EII
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  5. #5
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    This is situational, but in general I am reluctant to defer to someone else as I feel quite comfortable being in control and enjoy organising people/things. I am happy, however, to do so in three situations.

    1. If it benefits me
    2. If I don't have a better option (at least right now)
    3. If it arouses me

  6. #6
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I trust SJs' short term memory much more than mine

    NFPs provide pretty good insights on human nature, on a macro perspective

    ENFJs provide great readily appliable solutions for people management
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  7. #7
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I have asked my ESFJ shop owner for advice on how to deal with a problematic person I had to train for my other job.

    This person would tell me how to do the job I was training him for. He was jumping ahead of instruction but jumping to the wrong conclusions. Then being dismissive. Overall brat.

    Normally, I would back off and let him learn the hard way since that is what he seemed to prefer - but the situation was not conducive to this as I was held responsible for him.

    I leaned upon Fe for a way tell him to go fuck himself and get him back in line - diplomatically! Not my usual style. It worked.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Do you defer to others in certain situations? More specifically - do you recognise when a situation might call for your least favourite function (or function combo) and how do you go about dealing with that situation?

    So, Fi users - when do you ask for Ti-user's help? Or don't you at all and why? And of course ,vice versa, Ti users - when, if ever, is Fi a better choice and do you actually ask a trusted Fi-user for help at that point?

    Si users - what about Ni? And again, vice versa

    What about Fe and Te?

    etc...


    And how hard is it to relinquish your pride - do you even go there, if it's your dom function or even your aux?

    What about instead of going for the counterpart, settling for the extraverted or introverted cousin because it's part of your stack as well?


    Curious minds want to know
    My least favourite function combo? I have never really thought about this but it would have to be either Ne-Ti or Se-Ti (ExTPs have always frustrated me immensely, I can't understand them and this is a shameful feeling for me to experience). Fe-Si takes a dishonorable second place.

    Faced with an impromptu stump speech about a subject I'd never discussed, I'd call for a more quick-witted ENTP to stand in for me if I had the chance.

    I am really straining hard to think of a situation where I might need an ESTP. Maybe mechanical work, like changing a wheel, which I am truly woeful at.

    And if I wanted to organise a family function, and keep my various ungrateful, pretentious and boorish relatives entertained once they arrive - well, I suspect I would need an ESFJ and my INTJ lover to do the dirty work with a smile. I am fascinated by their capacity for evil.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    I am really straining hard to think of a situation where I might need an ESTP. Maybe mechanical work, like changing a wheel, which I am truly woeful at.
    Don't call me, I'll just send someone else to do it.
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  10. #10
    On The blessblessblessblesster
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    I defer in these situations:
    When I'm trying to understand human behavior (most likely I'm figuring out why a specific person is behaving a certain way and how to deal with it). When I'm trying to learn how to do something, and I think someone else does it better. When someone I trust and respects thinks I'm seriously fucking something up, even though I personally am unsure if they are correct (i.e. drinking too much).
    Herpaderpderpderpderpderpderp
    Often wrong, but never in doubt!
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