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What types of relationships do you have with different types?

pinkgraffiti

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1,482
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ENFP
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sx/so
OK, let's play.

ENFP: great fun but can get tiring after a while. we are two balls of Ne, whenever Im out with ENFP friends we bounce ideas for hours but then I go home and I feel like my brain is going to burst and I need some "me" time to process :D

ENFJ: like friends, but the relationship can be conflictual. I've had conflict with 2-3 different ENFJs, all enneagram 8 or 2's in stress and the conflict was due to their tendency to be authoritarian. I don't like being bossed around or feeling like Im losing my freedom. The good thing is even with conflict they believe in the relationship, and since I also have a lot of hope in relationships in general, this helps maintain the relationship

INFJ: get along very well with this type. i usually show my most idealistic side with INFJs. we can talk for hours about life and the universe. and they are sweet and very good at giving emotional advice.

INFP: my buddies. I love INFPs, we share Fi and I feel like I can be myself with them. The downside is that they have a sense of sarcasm/darkness that I don't share, and sometimes I have to get away because they can demand too much of me emotionally.



ENTP: superficially "mates" but if I scratch a bit under the surface they can be very irritating. it's always their kind of humor, based on making fun of everyone (I guess it's the combination of Ne-Fe). I'm often bored at their jokes or find them insensitive. My humor is different, I make fun WITH people, often using myself as "bate", not them, and I enjoy nonsense humor. But Im sensitive to other people's feelings. I also don't appreciate their issues with Fi (all ENTPs I've ever know hate Fi or like to make fun of it)

INTP: I like their out-of-the-box intelligence and lack of interest in being anal/organised. I like to make fun of them for their lack of social capacities. I like this type and they usually can see through the "ENFP façade" and understand that I'm intelligent, which I appreciate.

ENTJ: very good. I love their Te and they love my Ne. they make me feel more secure in myself, and I love that they go straight to the point, no bullshit needed. and they genuinely listen to me and I feel they respect me intellectually. it's perfect. but i still prefer to go home to my INFP, who understands and validates me emotionally in a way an ENTJ is just not able to.

INTJ: this type... I can totally follow their logic, but they annoy me in that they usually think they are smarter than anyone else. Also, I can follow their logic but they bore me fast. I don't see the universe as a global set of rules and logic and even if it is, I don't care. I care about people and things that can't be measured. Of course they don't understand this and don't care. I think they are usually more interested in me than I am in them. However, I've met a few with developed Fi and with those the relationship can be much more satisfying.



ESFP: Yeah! :) I have loads of fun with them. They are clearly more social than I am, I am somewhat more introverted as well. But I love ESFPs and it's great to be around them.

ESTPs: I dont understand what makes them tick and they intimidate me, I have a secret desire that they will accept me because they are somehow cooler than I am. With all the Se and stuff.

ISFP: I like ISFPs :) It's fun to be with them, except when I try to use Ne and they start looking at me like I'm crazy :( But if I just limit the abstraction and focus on Fi or on having fun, it can be a good relationship.

ISTP: Like ESTPs-> I'm not sure if I know anyone and they are aliens to me.



ISTJ: OMFG. They make me feel calm but. They bore me. They never understand my jokes and every story has to follow A->B->C logic otherwise they don't get it. They also are not very good at trying new things and being partners in my adventures. It works but only for like 1 min. Sorry guys. I like your sense of humor though.

ESFJ: I knew one and it was very difficult to get along with her. Seemed totally fake, only thought about "the group" and not about how each person felt. She seemed like she could change personality to suit the group. I didn't trust her and couldn't find common ground.

ISFJ: They bore me. I have to be careful and attentive to their needs so that I can have a good relationship with them.

ESTJ: I don't know if I know any.

PS: I would LOVE to discuss these ideas with other ENFPs or with what each of the types I mentioned thinks about ENFPs, if it's similar or not :)
 

pinkgraffiti

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It drives me crazy. As far as I am concerned it is possible to be TOO open minded. It shows a lack of discernment/filter that I regard as bad.

If I may intervene, we have a very strong filter. Or let me speak for myself: I have a very strong filter, it's my Fi. I actually know exactly how I feel about people etc. But it's like an elastic: I try to stretch it because I want to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Basically my way of doing things in life, possibly as an ENFP, is that for me, knowledge/wisdom is what I experience directly in my life (e.g. I don't think it's fair to offer my opinion on, for instance, the situation in Cuba, because I don't live there and haven't experienced it first hand. However, I will gladly speak hours on the racism of the Dutch, because I lived there and experienced it first hand, and I know a lot of people that did too.)

OK, so this means that, whereas I make a strong filter (Fi) almost immediately, I also leave a lot of maneuver space (the elastic, Ne) because in the back of my mind people's behavior may escape my Fi values for reasons that I do not yet understand, because maybe I still haven't experienced certain things needed to understand their experience, so I can't judge.

Do you understand what I mean?

The consequence of this is that I let people boss me around for a while longer than I should.. but once I "form my definite personal experience of the situation", meaning, once it's clear to me that that margin of behavior is not there, and I have understood the situation fully, then zap the person is out of my life immediately. And forever, unless they can convince me that somehow I did not fully understand the situation and there is in fact an explanation that escapes the scope of my Fi.

It's just a different way of looking at it than an ENFJ would, since we use different functions, but it really doesn't mean we have less of a filter (which is my point and the reason I'm replying to you)
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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sp/sx
INTJ - Hit and miss for the most part. Sometimes we get along great and bring a lot to the table for each other. A curious pattern I have noticed is some of the greatest teachers I have had have been this type, and have taken me under their wing. A very close friend of mine was this type. One problem though is if they like me a lot, they sometimes try to get too close, and it repells me. There's a subset of INTJ's that just HATE me.
Sad day. I am almost tempted to indulge in an emoticon.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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á´…eparted

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If I may intervene, we have a very strong filter. Or let me speak for myself: I have a very strong filter, it's my Fi. I actually know exactly how I feel about people etc. But it's like an elastic: I try to stretch it because I want to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Basically my way of doing things in life, possibly as an ENFP, is that for me, knowledge/wisdom is what I experience directly in my life (e.g. I don't think it's fair to offer my opinion on, for instance, the situation in Cuba, because I don't live there and haven't experienced it first hand. However, I will gladly speak hours on the racism of the Dutch, because I lived there and experienced it first hand, and I know a lot of people that did too.)

OK, so this means that, whereas I make a strong filter (Fi) almost immediately, I also leave a lot of maneuver space (the elastic, Ne) because in the back of my mind people's behavior may escape my Fi values for reasons that I do not yet understand, because maybe I still haven't experienced certain things needed to understand their experience, so I can't judge.

Do you understand what I mean?

The consequence of this is that I let people boss me around for a while longer than I should.. but once I "form my definite personal experience of the situation", meaning, once it's clear to me that that margin of behavior is not there, and I have understood the situation fully, then zap the person is out of my life immediately. And forever, unless they can convince me that somehow I did not fully understand the situation and there is in fact an explanation that escapes the scope of my Fi.

It's just a different way of looking at it than an ENFJ would, since we use different functions, but it really doesn't mean we have less of a filter (which is my point and the reason I'm replying to you)

I understand why they do it fine. In some individuals it works out alright. In others, I regard it as faulty. (i.e. it depends on the person). Sometimes I just fundementally disagree with them and can't condone it.
 

Mew_22

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INTJ
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I only know a few different personality types so I'll try:

INTP
I like having conversations with them, because most of the time they end up turning into debates but we never lose our temper, so it's actually kinda fun. Although we do have highly conflicting views on pretty much everything.

ENTP
MOST ANNOYING PERSON EVER AWARD. I don't know if it's all ENTPs but the one I know is so freaking annoying. And he admitted he was just trying to push my boundaries and get me mad. Hates authority as much as the INTP I know.

ISFP
Most laid back person I know. He looks like he does nothing, and thinks nothing, but he's really smart. Smarter than he thinks he is. We get along well, although the only things we talk about are films and books.

INFP
I know two INFPs, both of which are highly sentimental and emotionally fluffy. And their sensitivity leads me to think I might be hurting them whenever I talk, so I try not to say too much around them. My best friend is an INFP, but all we do is hide our real feelings from each other, and I didn't expect that from an INFP ...

ENFP
I know two ENFPs also, but not as well as the INFPs. They look hyper when they're full of ideas, which is a lot of the time, and for me they're draining to be around, since I don't usually look like I share their enthusiasm.
 

Kullervo

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All SPs = Chalk and cheese. Deport them all to Africa.
All SJs = Good workmates but insufferably dry, too much so for me to be attracted to them
NFPs = As a potential girlfriend not organised enough for me, but the guys can be a good compliment. We can learn a lot from each other
NFJs = I lust after you as a dog would for raw meat. Prepare for a cataclysmic disruption you'll never forget...I will tramp over all your dreams and you'll love me for it.
NTJs = This is essentially a form of incest, so should be avoided if breeding is the intention. Most of my friends fall into this camp though
NTPs = Never got them and they've never got me, but neither of us care :)
 

Cellmold

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ESFJ - The type I consistently get along with. I can't recall ever having a major issue with one. At worst, we just don't mesh well and go each others ways. I have had quite a few ESFJ friends over the years, not many were deep, but lots nonetheless. If they are problems, we talk them out and they're solved incredibly fast.

Interestingly one of the bigger sticking points in my relational disputes was that I didn't open up enough about what I was feeling and that I was dishonest to my emotions and so let conflicts get out of hand. Talking things over is really hard for me. Not as avoidant as I thought though, more I find it easier to just 'tear it all down' instead. It's like all or nothing.

I think that's the lack of balance in myself individually though.

ESFJ women can be really comforting to me, I love me some fe at times especially the caring feed me up and give me a blanky kind. These relationships tend to fair very well for me when I feel low, they are very dependable and great in a crisis.

Even though it's been done to death I wonder if the culturally influenced norms of gender come into play here. I'm not that dependable and I hate caring for others; it feels like I'm somehow creating a co-dependant position that I lack the stamina to maintain. Nothing worse than 'false obligations' which I suspect are a huge problem with strongly Fe preferenced people.

As to the main topic I've clashed a lot with NTP's (kind of predictable and cliche) although I've got along really well with some. The balancing effect of Ti + Ne tends to make me question my positions more readily.

The others are Fi...anything strongly Fi. I have superficial relations with Fi dominant and secondary people but nothing substantial. I mean we could cite functional clashes, but I think it's more than that. I think it's the culture of individualism again, that has slowly been propped up over the years.

A lot of strong Fi people take advantage of this culture to claim prejudice or ganging up from others. Which isn't to say I think all do. There's an irony in it though; as individualism is championed under the tawdry banner of "everyone has a right to X" we end up only seeing similarities which cheapen and dampen any individuality. The notion of people being special is itself a group-thought notion. And I suspect it is adopted by a lot of Fe dominants too as a way of getting with the times towards 'inclusivity' but I strongly stand by my belief that this originated from Fi.

But whatever noble goal it once had, it's now a mutated unsure mess. Exceptionalism just is and cant really be shooed away because it exposes the limitations of others on a personal level.
 

Lloyd

Ain Soph Aur
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Jun 1, 2015
Messages
115
MBTI Type
INFP
Instinctual Variant
sx
INTJ Very close to them personally. Sometimes can be closed-minded to me. They does not speak much about life unless I ask them. I usually do random things and joke around them even though they react differently to what ever I do.
INTP Very fun to be with. We share ideas and thoughts most of the time. I have one male INTP friend who sometimes perceive things the same way as I do and it makes me think he can read my mind. :)
ISTJ Helpful. He can be blunt at times and it offends me most of the time. He likes to talk about his past life, our school lives and his experiences.
ISFJ Two ISFJs I know seem to love me although I do not love them back the way they do.
ESFJ I seem to be on good terms with them. They usually lead when I am working with them.
ENFP I know two ENFP's. I'll describe the first one first:We share the same interests that it fascinates me. He likes to discuss many things from his daily life to different ideas and I just listen to what he says. Can be blunt sometimes. He behaves just like me when I am at home because I tend to be more quiet at school. The second one: We are both cousins and we both like anime but she likes it more than I do. I usually start the conversation but she talks more than I do.
ESFP I have one ESFP friend. He is very open and listens to whatever I say. He seems kind and shows himself as trustworthy. We sometimes become close to each other and I consider him as one of my best friends over a short time.
 

morganelise48

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INFJ
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5w4
My best friend Hannah is an ESFJ, and she had all the guys falling for her in middle/high school! Haha. From jocks to nerds, outcasts to your average Joe. Like me, but even better, she will smile when she's offended, laugh at jokes that aren't funny, and really she can make anyone feel comfortable. She has a vicious side, and once she sets her mind on the fact that she doesn't like you, she won't shake. But she gives everyone a good chance to prove yourself a good person before she decides that. There's a lot of things about her that's common with this type that I admire. 😊
As an INFJ, I can say that guys do seem to fall for me. Talking to guys, when I talk about my beliefs or phylosophies, or about science or something along those lines, (things I enjoy talking about the most) even often when they don't necessaraly agree, the closest word I can think of that describes they're attitude/face is "mesmorized..."
For example, I went to a guys house to part twice (hate partied), and the second time he pulled me into my room. Mind you, I did not like him at all. Douchey attitude, absorbed in himself, overly exterverted and not in an unceasing way, ya know the type of guy. I believe he may be an ENFJ. Anyway, he said to me something along these lines, " I like you, and I don't know why. You're not really girly, and that's the only kind of girl I like. You're an atheist and that's just awful. You carry yourself in a way where you seem like you don't give a fuck. Not the kind of way where you're overly confident, but like you're kind of odd and you just don't care that other people aren't weird too. Like I don't know why I like you but I really do. I showed a picture of you to my lesbian friend and she said you look like her type, and we're on seprate ends of the spectrum." Then he leaned in for a kiss, and I think for the first time, (because I don't like hurting peoples feelings. Bad I know ha) I humbly declined.
 

morganelise48

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Dec 9, 2015
Messages
63
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INFJ
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5w4
My best friend Hannah is an ESFJ, and she had all the guys falling for her in middle/high school! Haha. From jocks to nerds, outcasts to your average Joe. Like me, but even better, she will smile when she's offended, laugh at jokes that aren't funny, and really she can make anyone feel comfortable. She has a vicious side, and once she sets her mind on the fact that she doesn't like you, she won't shake. But she gives everyone a good chance to prove yourself a good person before she decides that. There's a lot of things about her that's common with this type that I admire. 😊
As an INFJ, I can say that guys do seem to fall for me. Talking to guys, when I talk about my beliefs or phylosophies, or about science or something along those lines, (things I enjoy talking about the most) even often when they don't necessaraly agree, the closest word I can think of that describes they're attitude/face is "mesmorized..."
For example, I went to a guys house to part twice (hate partied), and the second time he pulled me into my room. Mind you, I did not like him at all. Douchey attitude, absorbed in himself, overly exterverted and not in an unceasing way, ya know the type of guy. I believe he may be an ENFJ. Anyway, he said to me something along these lines, " I like you, and I don't know why. You're not really girly, and that's the only kind of girl I like. You're an atheist and that's just awful. You carry yourself in a way where you seem like you don't give a fuck. Not the kind of way where you're overly confident, but like you're kind of odd and you just don't care that other people aren't weird too. Like I don't know why I like you but I really do. I showed a picture of you to my lesbian friend and she said you look like her type, and we're on seprate ends of the spectrum." Then he leaned in for a kiss, and I think for the first time, (because I don't like hurting peoples feelings. Bad I know ha) I humbly declined.
***My apologies, I think he was an ENFP
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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Jan 19, 2010
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7W6
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sp/sx
Even though it's been done to death I wonder if the culturally influenced norms of gender come into play here. I'm not that dependable and I hate caring for others; it feels like I'm somehow creating a co-dependant position that I lack the stamina to maintain. Nothing worse than 'false obligations' which I suspect are a huge problem with strongly Fe preferenced people.

Well probably and also just that the ESFJ in Mbti is traditionally 'The Caregiver'. Ofc everyone is individual, if you are not particularly caregiving for an ESFJ then you are not. Also that post I made was specifically about the relationships of types of women I have experience of. I generally get on better with men though I am yet to create the posts which addresses those relationships.
 

Cellmold

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Well probably and also just that the ESFJ in Mbti is traditionally 'The Caregiver'. Ofc everyone is individual, if you are not particularly caregiving for an ESFJ then you are not. Also that post I made was specifically about the relationships of types of women I have experience of. I generally get on better with men though I am yet to create the posts which addresses those relationships.

I wish I was brave enough to be moral.

Sorry that was weird. OK Helen.

Are you going to make posts about the male side of things? Just out of curiosity; I think I value your input.
 

Duffy

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Even though it's been done to death I wonder if the culturally influenced norms of gender come into play here. I'm not that dependable and I hate caring for others; it feels like I'm somehow creating a co-dependant position that I lack the stamina to maintain. Nothing worse than 'false obligations' which I suspect are a huge problem with strongly Fe preferenced people.

As to the main topic I've clashed a lot with NTP's (kind of predictable and cliche) although I've got along really well with some. The balancing effect of Ti + Ne tends to make me question my positions more readily.

It's interesting you say all this, because one would think you have a bit more in common with NTPs, which is to say that you'd clash less, considering you hold notions of Fe as synonymous with 'false obligations' and such. Unfortunately, I've felt similarly. I wish it wasn't the case, because I think it's a miserable perspective, and possibly invalid (just haven't figured how or why yet). I will agree that Fe strong individuals come across as lacking agency. It's pretentious, but I think they forsake humanity more so than the often scapegoated INTx types.
 

Cellmold

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It's interesting you say all this, because one would think you have a bit more in common with NTPs, which is to say that you'd clash less, considering you hold notions of Fe as synonymous with 'false obligations' and such. Unfortunately, I've felt similarly. I wish it wasn't the case, because I think it's a miserable perspective, and possibly invalid (just haven't figured how or why yet). I will agree that Fe strong individuals come across as lacking agency. It's pretentious, but I think they forsake humanity more so than the often scapegoated INTx types.

I think it has something to do with the dilution of selfhood. They spread themselves thin and in an attempt to find identity within a group, end up losing anything they could call their own.

Might be the extreme lack of Fi. They ironically are the highest on the selfishness degree while being least aware of their selfishness.
 

Cellmold

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It's interesting you say all this, because one would think you have a bit more in common with NTPs, which is to say that you'd clash less, considering you hold notions of Fe as synonymous with 'false obligations' and such. Unfortunately, I've felt similarly. I wish it wasn't the case, because I think it's a miserable perspective, and possibly invalid (just haven't figured how or why yet). I will agree that Fe strong individuals come across as lacking agency. It's pretentious, but I think they forsake humanity more so than the often scapegoated INTx types.

I also don't get along with strong Te. It's internally difficult to process the impersonal view that comes with it.

And then there is Se which I cannot get along with at all. And Ni frustrates me immensely.
 

Kullervo

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I also don't get along with strong Te. It's internally difficult to process the impersonal view that comes with it.

And then there is Se which I cannot get along with at all. And Ni frustrates me immensely.

Ni is often lambasted as a misunderstood function. To explain - it is almost as if you know something just before it has happened, totally unconsciously. Everything comes together at once, out of nowhere. Thus Ni dom/aux can make a judgement very quickly and can seem dogmatic for this reason. Those who use Ni especially strongly, like me, can sometimes feel a little disorientated, like we don't even inhabit our bodies. But it is important to realize that this is just how we are.

IMO you are all slowcoaches who take too long to figure shit out. You can bring me another beer while I'm waiting.
 

Cellmold

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IMO you are all slowcoaches who take too long to figure shit out. You can bring me another beer while I'm waiting.

Pfff don't get cocky. You could live for 3000 years and you would still be less clued in or as sharp as me.

The only thing you've figured out is how to dampen your insecurities by latching onto what you consider external issues. But it's a trap you've designed to protect yourself from true introspection and self-analysis/revelation.

Maybe one day you'll 'figure shit out' but I suspect not.

Not even Alice would be intrigued by your rabbit hole.
 

Kullervo

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Pfff don't get cocky. You could live for 3000 years and you would still be less clued in or as sharp as me.

We'll see who is laughing in 3,000 years.

The only thing you've figured out is how to dampen your insecurities by latching onto what you consider external issues. But it's a trap you've designed to protect yourself from true introspection and self-analysis/revelation.

Maybe one day you'll 'figure shit out' but I suspect not.

Not even Alice would be intrigued by your rabbit hole.

As I said to...hmm, who was it? I can't remember. Anyway, if I want to be psychoanalyzed I'll go to a professional.

But thanks for the unsolicited advice.
 
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