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  1. #1
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Default Which Type Fares Better In Relationships

    What I mean by this is probably... which type has the most meaningful, long lasting relationships. Which type does not suffer through relationships. I know we all (individually ofc as well as all types) have our strengths and weaknesses in different area's but you know... if you have to say one type which seems to have it sussed... what type would that be? Reading through other threads in the relationship section got me to wondering about this. I doubt it is ENFP's... though I do think they have an ability to bounce back after failed relationships pretty well (whilst hanging onto some of that pain a long while-but mostly letting go/accepting) but ENFP's do have that classic grass in greener syndrome for a long old time... most dangerously when they are young and super explorative.

    IDK maybe ISFP's have it pretty good, they seem so chill but also so adept at being comfortable with the one person... they seem so trustworthy... am i wrong about this. People who I think of are people like Eddie Vedder, Paulo Nuitini (clearly not quite ready to settle down), Zooey Deschanel... ofc they are celeb types and media usually dictates which dishes we are served. IRL I can only really think of two people who I believe to be ISFP and they are both really chilled and seem to take relationships in their stride. They seem not to bear axes...
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  2. #2
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    I suspect Ne and Se doms struggle the most with this, but I could be blowing smoke.

    The ENTPs and ENFPs I know especially struggle with long term relationships, anything more than a few years, or less. Some might settle down, even very long term, but they don't have it that easy....

    The ESFPs and ESTPs I know also struggle with this.

    Which has does it best? I don't know.
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

  3. #3
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    I suspect Ne and Se doms struggle the most with this, but I could be blowing smoke.

    The ENTPs and ENFPs I know especially struggle with long term relationships, anything more than a few years, or less. Some might settle down, even very long term, but they don't have it that easy....

    The ESFPs and ESTPs I know also struggle with this.

    Which has does it best? I don't know.

    Hey thinking about it some more I wonder if ESTJ's have it all sewn up. They seem very capable at compartmentalising... this box for the husband/wife... this box for work...that box for friendships etc. Maybe there is something to that... the ability to keep things where they belong?!?
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  4. #4
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    INTP. You can't spend time and emotional effort managing what you never have.

    Okay sorry but honestly it's true for some!
    Likes JocktheMotie liked this post

  5. #5
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Hey thinking about it some more I wonder if ESTJ's have it all sewn up. They seem very capable at compartmentalising... this box for the husband/wife... this box for work...that box for friendships etc. Maybe there is something to that... the ability to keep things where they belong?!?
    Si in Dom or Aux might really help with all that.... My ISTJ dad stayed in a bad marriage until my mom left. A ESTJ friend stayed with his wife until she left him.

    I suspect ISFJs and ESFJs might be similarly inclined.

    Looking at the pattern, it appears that Pe in Dom or Aux might interfere with long term success, Si helps in the opposite way.

    As for Ni, it is so funky.....it is likely more neutral.... or not.... might need more input.....I am personally too messed up to give a good assessment....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

  6. #6
    Sweet Summer Child yama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    Si in Dom or Aux might really help with all that.... My ISTJ dad stayed in a bad marriage until my mom left. A ESTJ friend stayed with his wife until she left him.

    I suspect ISFJs and ESFJs might be similarly inclined.
    Not sure about others of my type or similar, but I actually have stayed in a bad relationship (friendship, not romantic) before despite wanting to leave because I didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings. The other person expected me to always be there for them emotionally (which I was), but whenever I reached out to them, they were never there for me, and this is why it didn't work. Eventually I cut it off though and am now much happier.

    I'm not sure what types would have it worst/best with long-term relationship success, but I think I would do pretty good. Possibly because of Si?? I dunno, but when I decide I like someone (regardless of romantic or platonic), I pretty much sell them my soul. When I decide I care about someone, I care a lot. It's almost impossible for me to let go of people who I let myself grow emotionally attached to. I once had a very close and dear friend in junior high, and she decided to go to a different high school than me. We started growing apart despite my efforts to keep in regular contact, and I was in so much pain and felt so helpless that I have vivid recollections of just laying in the middle of the floor crying my eyes out for hours. We don't talk anymore because it's been so many years and we've grown so far apart, but I still get very nostalgic and sad when I think of her.
    25 weeks

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    I disagree with people, those who stay in bad relationships fare horribly at relationshisps.

    I don't see much problems with any type in particular. Some types will put up with crap more then others, but to me that doesn't mean they fare well. It's just as bad as the grass is greener, but opposite. Kinda like acid and base.

    Stable and mature fare the best, could be an ENFP or and ESTP or any other type. Those who have issues with grass is greener suck at finding the right person just as much as those who get stuck in abusive. I am with an ENFP and I don't have the grass is greener syndrome with her. Honestly ENFPS suck at finding the right person, in my eyes grass is greener is a byproduct of the ability to find the right person. I don't get ESTP being the type to disappear, most of them I know personally will get stuck in a relationship due to feeling like they are trapped in it because they don't want to hurt or cause to much pain. They are usually VERY caring individuals. Both male and female.
    Im out, its been fun
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  8. #8
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    Not sure about others of my type or similar, but I actually have stayed in a bad relationship (friendship, not romantic) before despite wanting to leave because I didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings. The other person expected me to always be there for them emotionally (which I was), but whenever I reached out to them, they were never there for me, and this is why it didn't work. Eventually I cut it off though and am now much happier.

    I'm not sure what types would have it worst/best with long-term relationship success, but I think I would do pretty good. Possibly because of Si?? I dunno, but when I decide I like someone (regardless of romantic or platonic), I pretty much sell them my soul. When I decide I care about someone, I care a lot. It's almost impossible for me to let go of people who I let myself grow emotionally attached to. I once had a very close and dear friend in junior high, and she decided to go to a different high school than me. We started growing apart despite my efforts to keep in regular contact, and I was in so much pain and felt so helpless that I have vivid recollections of just laying in the middle of the floor crying my eyes out for hours. We don't talk anymore because it's been so many years and we've grown so far apart, but I still get very nostalgic and sad when I think of her.
    Oh, I relate to that so much. I suspect being a ISFJ makes you to tend to be even more devoted and loyal to others than INFJ, though taking care of the feelings of others is always important to me.

    I have noticed a tendency in me not to stay in regular contact with friends I no longer see on a regular basis. They just drift away....... I see it as a personal deficit. Reflecting back, I stopped keeping in touch with friends, after my parents divorce.....which took place while I was in college. It shouldn't be related, but I suddenly feel it is. Hmmmmm, new topic to ponder....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    Oh, I relate to that so much. I suspect being a ISFJ makes you to tend to be even more devoted and loyal to others than INFJ, though taking care of the feelings of others is always important to me.

    I have noticed a tendency in me not to stay in regular contact with friends I no longer see on a regular basis. They just drift away....... I see it as a personal deficit. Reflecting back, I stopped keeping in touch with friends, after my parents divorce.....which took place while I was in college. It shouldn't be related, but I suddenly feel it is. Hmmmmm, new topic to ponder....
    I have major issues with keeping in touch. It's almost out of sight out of mind. This place has changed that though with people on here. There are a handful that I guess because they were never in sight just mind they tend to stick better in my mind when not present. Even my parents have to touch base with me because I pretty much fall off the face of the earth. I usually only ever have a small handful of people I interact with though.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #10
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    I have major issues with keeping in touch. It's almost out of sight out of mind. This place has changed that though with people on here. There are a handful that I guess because they were never in sight just mind they tend to stick better in my mind when not present. Even my parents have to touch base with me because I pretty much fall off the face of the earth. I usually only ever have a small handful of people I interact with though.
    Well, sir, since I retreated into my ISTP shadow during those years, glad to see I adopted a true ISTP trait....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

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  1. [MBTItm] Which other types have you found to be consistently disastrous in relationships?
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