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MALE INFP AND FEMALE ENFP

GAEL

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
23
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Thoughts anyone?
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
What would you like to know?
 

GAEL

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
23
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hello and thanks. I'm wondering what a relationship would be like, what the enfp should/could bring to it. Also, given temperamental differences, how should
the enfp communicate that she loves him?
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hello and thanks. I'm wondering what a relationship would be like, what the enfp should/could bring to it. Also, given temperamental differences, how should
the enfp communicate that she loves him?


:wubbie: That will be one grateful INFP and likely one who does not believe themselves worthy to begin with. ENFP's are much better at declaring and communicating love especially in the initial stages of a relationship, before commitment is talked about/established. I'd spend a great deal of time getting to know him if you do not already....

I'm married to one. :smile: certainly a INXP.

How well do you know this person? What do you want from the relationship? INFP's can be wary of ENFP's flightiness and find them fickle and so not take their interest too seriously or take it for passing whim (or their imaginations). However ENFP's can be great for INFP's if they can learn to communicate effectively and not let things build up internally. ENFP's may feel they need things validating verbally a lot more than INFP's, frank discussions (though hard as can fell exposing) are brilliant at opening up new channels and the more channels that exist the less the dam has to hold.

ENFP's can give INFP's a real boost and give them clarity and help them feel a little more sane and ummm...'found'?

Idk, sort of straying here... might need some pointers as to what info you are looking for. At the mo, it just seems you are putting your feelers out or frightened of giving too much away.
 

GAEL

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
23
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I really appreciate your insights! I know him quite well. Here's what my intuition tells me: we have been strongly attracted to each other, but circumstances have made open communication about relationship impossible. I have been married, and am now separated from my spouse. The separation has been 15 years in the making, and is civil and amicable. My infp friend had nothing to do with the ending of the marriage, and, being ethically minded (as am I in such matters)he would not have entered into an extramarital relationship. I would like to explain to him what has transpired in my life, and I would like to confess my feelings for him. In one way I think he would not be surprised, but I think he might experience even a gentle declaration of love as excruciatingly intense. He is the most sensitive person I have ever met-I too am sensitive, but am protected by my emotional stone fortress. And of course, being an enfp, I'm driven to talk, to engage, to explore everything, talk to everyone, and generally mess with the world. So that's it, in a nutshell. I'm always on the learning curve...thanks again for your attention, fellow enfp/7w6 etc.
 

INFPtheQuietOne

New member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
Well I think it seldom works out because of the high Fi. From my experience, most FPs seem too similiar for each other to be in a relationship, the Te was only tertiary or inferior.
 

Lunar Light

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2015
Messages
114
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Well I think it seldom works out because of the high Fi. From my experience, most FPs seem too similiar for each other to be in a relationship, the Te was only tertiary or inferior.

Why would you say high Fi would not work out for each other? I appreciate the similar outlook that I get from my fellow FPs and feel like it brings about closeness rather than pushes it away. I know some will disagree, just adding my own opinion. Not totally sure about an ENFP/ENFP relationship but I feel like all the other FPs could definitely teach me something great in some way, while still holding similar values (which makes communication and understanding each other a bit easier). Personally, I think I'd feel more anxiety/pressure with someone who supposedly would help out with my blindspots (STJs, with higher Si/Te).

That said, my INFP SO has extraordinary Te despite being Fi-dom (and thus making it his inferior function). I feel like I can understand getting practical things done when it has that strong Fi focus. Otherwise, it's hard to really tune in to what I need to do.

___
[MENTION=25725]GAEL[/MENTION], I think the ENFP will be able to show the INFP the beauty of the external world that many are so fascinated with... as well as add some general pizzazz and humor to the relationship. Not all ENFPs are so "light" but even those that are less so tend to have a sort of energy that is uplifting.

I think most ENFP/INFP relationships are going to break gender roles in some way, as I think many NFPs don't really stick to "tradition," tending to be more improvisational and appreciative of different perspectives/angles. Life is more "magical" because neither tends to be too practical and sometimes fails at taking the mundane for what it is. We have a pretty hilarious time grocery shopping and cooking, if you know what I mean. One of the first things we planned to do when we met (since we had an online LDR) was make brownies together, as we both had deprived childhoods and thought it'd be amusing to do something like that... after the inevitably awkward first encounter (the hilarious and dramatic possibilities of which I liked to imagine in great detail).

NFPs have a real knack for looking at things through a different light and attaching meaning to it, making for interesting conversations and experiences. Both types possess an ability to flip from childlike/innocent to serious/somber, whatever the situation requires. Emotions do tend to run high, and the shared sensitivity that these types tend to have is both a relief and a burden. We understand but at the same time, the sadness is often doubled and both can end up feeling lifeless and unable to do much.
 

GAEL

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
23
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Thank you for these insights, Lunar Light. I am currently preoccupied with the idea that the Seven is characterized by flight from pain. This resonates tremendously with me. I think it has been at the root of most of the decisions I have made in my life. Acknowledging this is counter-intuitive for me, as I see myself (and assume others see me) as an unusually bold and tough-minded person. Fear? Me? I'm reading The Wisdom of the Enneagram, which I find really helpful, because it suggests that there are ways to come to terms with the flight from pain impulse. The Four, I realize, can derive a kind of self-affirming significance from pain. This poses a challenge, as you suggest at the end of your message. I wonder what my intense attraction to a particular 4 is all about...I feel safe around him...like I can be myself, and relax my defenses. I could never really do this with my Eight partner of many years. The Eight is a trained soldier, but I am a mean fighter...metaphor metaphor. It is not the Jerry Springer Show, but it is and has been a long and exhausting dance...
 
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