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INFP and ISFP relationships...are they more ideal than we give them credit for?

Ashlee

New member
Joined
Jul 19, 2015
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INFP
This is all pure speculation and I'll be the first to say I'm no expert when it comes to MBTI.

I'm an INFP in what feels like the perfect relationship with an ISFP. That said, I know my situation doesn't apply to everyone, and individual circumstances will always be a factor. But I will say that I'm curious to hear what the INFP/ISFP community has to say about these relationships.

In my personal situation, my ISFP is ideal. Both of us are incredibly connected and give the other a sense of love and belonging. We are also very sensitive to the feelings and desires of the other and respect one another. Both of us desire a lasting and meaningful relationship.

I will say, the only main difference I see (so far) between us is how we handle stress. I have severe anxiety and deadlines terrify me. My ISFP partner tends to rationalize these situations and is able to connect with me emotionally and helps to calm me down.

I'd love to hear any personal experiences/standpoints!!!
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
I dated a probable ISFP many years ago. He was sensitive, which I appreciated, but he would waffle on making decisions, even small things, deferring action or deferring to me telling him what he should do. Instead of finding it a pleasure, it felt like the chore of being "grown-up" fell to me, while he got to remain more free.

In my INFP / ISFP friendships (all of which are with women) I do generally feel like I am the one who has to be the practical one, and I can occasionally come to resent that.

My best ISFP friend has a way of acting helpless which "motivates" those around her to step in and take action. (And for some people, it's a huge turnoff). Now, she's not helpless by any stretch, but from other vantage points, seeing an ISFP lost can be painfully stressful and one simply wishes to alleviate the emotional distress swirling around.

I'm happy for the happiness you have found! It will be interesting to hear from anyone else in your dynamic.
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
I dated an INFP for a very long time. We had ups and downs, but the Fi+Fi connection was strong.

We tended to clash on occasion due to differences in his Ne idealism and my Se practicality and spontaneity. But overall, I do think the two make for a great match.

We've since broken up and my INFP ex is dating another ISFP. They seem to have a great relationship as well and are engaged.
 

fetus

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2015
Messages
2,575
Enneagram
6w7
Glad you've found a great relationship!

I was with an IxFP for a little bit (probably ISFP). It was very...squishy, to say the least.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I dated a probable ISFP many years ago. He was sensitive, which I appreciated, but he would waffle on making decisions, even small things, deferring action or deferring to me telling him what he should do. Instead of finding it a pleasure, it felt like the chore of being "grown-up" fell to me, while he got to remain more free.

In my INFP / ISFP friendships (all of which are with women) I do generally feel like I am the one who has to be the practical one, and I can occasionally come to resent that.

My best ISFP friend has a way of acting helpless which "motivates" those around her to step in and take action. (And for some people, it's a huge turnoff). Now, she's not helpless by any stretch, but from other vantage points, seeing an ISFP lost can be painfully stressful and one simply wishes to alleviate the emotional distress swirling around.

I'm happy for the happiness you have found! It will be interesting to hear from anyone else in your dynamic.
The bolded is the key issue for me. I've never dated a INFP or a ISFP but I doubt I ever would. Whenever I'm around someone similar to me (eg. sensitive and scatterbrained), eventually I end up being the "grown-up" - and I hate having to be the grown up. It means I have to play the Thinker or Judger part, which can be exhausting after a while. For the same reasons I hate being around shy people because I'm shy too. I then feel forced into being friendly and stimulating the conversation. I want relationships to have an 'effortless' foundation to them. I realize, of course, that all relationships take work, but I want the connection aspect to be relaxing and liberating.

I love ISFPs but I don't think it's a good match for me personally. I'll stick to being friends with them.
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
The bolded is the key issue for me. I've never dated a INFP or a ISFP but I doubt I ever would. Whenever I'm around someone similar to me (eg. sensitive and scatterbrained), eventually I end up being the "grown-up" - and I hate having to be the grown up. It means I have to play the Thinker or Judger part, which can be exhausting after a while. For the same reasons I hate being around shy people because I'm shy too. I then feel forced into being friendly and stimulating the conversation. I want relationships to have an 'effortless' foundation to them. I realize, of course, that all relationships take work, but I want the connection aspect to be relaxing and liberating.

I love ISFPs but I don't think it's a good match for me personally. I'll stick to being friends with them.
I actually tend to have the same problem - often feel the need to play the grown up or mom. It's exhausting. I don't like pulling out my Te.
 

INFPtheQuietOne

New member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
122
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
I think FPs do have lots of similiarities which may be too similiar to be compatible because of Fi and ter/inf Te.
 

Kullervo

Permabanned
Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
3,298
MBTI Type
N/A
One question: how would they ever get anything done? Both would experience a cascade of extreme passions, but would either have the energy to take a dominant role in the relationship and drive it forward?

Sounds like the stars would be aligned for a great one night stand...if, of course, the INFP or ISFP could muster the courage to speak to one another ;)
 
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