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  1. #1
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    Default INFP and ISFP relationships...are they more ideal than we give them credit for?

    This is all pure speculation and I'll be the first to say I'm no expert when it comes to MBTI.

    I'm an INFP in what feels like the perfect relationship with an ISFP. That said, I know my situation doesn't apply to everyone, and individual circumstances will always be a factor. But I will say that I'm curious to hear what the INFP/ISFP community has to say about these relationships.

    In my personal situation, my ISFP is ideal. Both of us are incredibly connected and give the other a sense of love and belonging. We are also very sensitive to the feelings and desires of the other and respect one another. Both of us desire a lasting and meaningful relationship.

    I will say, the only main difference I see (so far) between us is how we handle stress. I have severe anxiety and deadlines terrify me. My ISFP partner tends to rationalize these situations and is able to connect with me emotionally and helps to calm me down.

    I'd love to hear any personal experiences/standpoints!!!

  2. #2
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    I dated a probable ISFP many years ago. He was sensitive, which I appreciated, but he would waffle on making decisions, even small things, deferring action or deferring to me telling him what he should do. Instead of finding it a pleasure, it felt like the chore of being "grown-up" fell to me, while he got to remain more free.

    In my INFP / ISFP friendships (all of which are with women) I do generally feel like I am the one who has to be the practical one, and I can occasionally come to resent that.

    My best ISFP friend has a way of acting helpless which "motivates" those around her to step in and take action. (And for some people, it's a huge turnoff). Now, she's not helpless by any stretch, but from other vantage points, seeing an ISFP lost can be painfully stressful and one simply wishes to alleviate the emotional distress swirling around.

    I'm happy for the happiness you have found! It will be interesting to hear from anyone else in your dynamic.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
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  3. #3
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    I dated an INFP for a very long time. We had ups and downs, but the Fi+Fi connection was strong.

    We tended to clash on occasion due to differences in his Ne idealism and my Se practicality and spontaneity. But overall, I do think the two make for a great match.

    We've since broken up and my INFP ex is dating another ISFP. They seem to have a great relationship as well and are engaged.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  4. #4
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    Glad you've found a great relationship!

    I was with an IxFP for a little bit (probably ISFP). It was very...squishy, to say the least.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1
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  5. #5
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I dated a probable ISFP many years ago. He was sensitive, which I appreciated, but he would waffle on making decisions, even small things, deferring action or deferring to me telling him what he should do. Instead of finding it a pleasure, it felt like the chore of being "grown-up" fell to me, while he got to remain more free.

    In my INFP / ISFP friendships (all of which are with women) I do generally feel like I am the one who has to be the practical one, and I can occasionally come to resent that.

    My best ISFP friend has a way of acting helpless which "motivates" those around her to step in and take action. (And for some people, it's a huge turnoff). Now, she's not helpless by any stretch, but from other vantage points, seeing an ISFP lost can be painfully stressful and one simply wishes to alleviate the emotional distress swirling around.

    I'm happy for the happiness you have found! It will be interesting to hear from anyone else in your dynamic.
    The bolded is the key issue for me. I've never dated a INFP or a ISFP but I doubt I ever would. Whenever I'm around someone similar to me (eg. sensitive and scatterbrained), eventually I end up being the "grown-up" - and I hate having to be the grown up. It means I have to play the Thinker or Judger part, which can be exhausting after a while. For the same reasons I hate being around shy people because I'm shy too. I then feel forced into being friendly and stimulating the conversation. I want relationships to have an 'effortless' foundation to them. I realize, of course, that all relationships take work, but I want the connection aspect to be relaxing and liberating.

    I love ISFPs but I don't think it's a good match for me personally. I'll stick to being friends with them.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #6
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    The bolded is the key issue for me. I've never dated a INFP or a ISFP but I doubt I ever would. Whenever I'm around someone similar to me (eg. sensitive and scatterbrained), eventually I end up being the "grown-up" - and I hate having to be the grown up. It means I have to play the Thinker or Judger part, which can be exhausting after a while. For the same reasons I hate being around shy people because I'm shy too. I then feel forced into being friendly and stimulating the conversation. I want relationships to have an 'effortless' foundation to them. I realize, of course, that all relationships take work, but I want the connection aspect to be relaxing and liberating.

    I love ISFPs but I don't think it's a good match for me personally. I'll stick to being friends with them.
    I actually tend to have the same problem - often feel the need to play the grown up or mom. It's exhausting. I don't like pulling out my Te.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  7. #7
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    I think FPs do have lots of similiarities which may be too similiar to be compatible because of Fi and ter/inf Te.
    I am extremely quiet, an outcast, and conflict-avoidant. But I also have strengths too, that I can forgive you all because you are unique and special. I kill with kindness, hating violence and social conflicts. People always bully me into actually talking, but I can't. Just be your true self and know your strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that.

  8. #8
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    ISFP and INFP... meh

  9. #9
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    One question: how would they ever get anything done? Both would experience a cascade of extreme passions, but would either have the energy to take a dominant role in the relationship and drive it forward?

    Sounds like the stars would be aligned for a great one night stand...if, of course, the INFP or ISFP could muster the courage to speak to one another
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