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  1. #1
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Default ENTJ and INFJ Relationships

    What do you think about relationships between ENTJs and INFJs? The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

    When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
    - How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
    - Why are they attracted to each other?
    - How to they compliment each other?
    - How well do they understand each other and why?
    - What are they like together raising children?

    When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
    - What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
    - What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
    - How can they take each other for granted?
    - What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

    Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
    - What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
    - What advice do you have for each of the two types?
    - If you are an ENTJ, what advice do you have for the INFJs?
    - If you are an INFJ, what advice would you have for the ENTJs?

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  2. #2
    Senior Member JClassic's Avatar
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    I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by JClassic View Post
    I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.
    you`re evil. i think they might find it adorable watching a classic power hungry consumer of worlds monster turn into a itty bitty fluffy little cute googly eye thing.
    think entjs only invest in things that they feel are worth it, that is their charm. so you know when they take the time to do those things. it wont be wasted on an infj
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gasoline View Post
    you`re evil. i think they might find it adorable watching a classic power hungry consumer of worlds monster turn into a itty bitty fluffy little cute googly eye thing.
    think entjs only invest in things that they feel are worth it, that is their charm. so you know when they take the time to do those things. it wont be wasted on an infj
    I have to say that I agree with that last line strongly.

    I identify as ENTJ, and I know there's a lot of people dont agree with that but anyhow, of all the types that I'd choose as a friend or a partner I have to say that I find the INFJ the most attractive, part of it is the contrasting extroversion and introversion, each can support the other in a fashion that's pretty natural to them and there's no competition or conflict in social situations with others of the kind you get when there's two extroverts and I think, depending on how pronounced it is and how it plays out, the feeling and thinking functionality can prove compatible too.

    Like if you are not simply testing as a particular type but are aware of using certain cognitive preferences, of them consciously being your preferences, I believe that you develop tendencies, aptitudes for those traits and that can be a plus if you've a friend or partner who is the opposite but has that sort of character too because you can learn from one another, greater balance or equilibrium can be the upshot of that.

    I'm a believer in the idea that while most people, even dysfunctional people, have some capacity for self-regulation of strong affects and emotion, that when this gets totally taxed by stress, they can do with some co-regulation from others to restore them to baseline functioning avoiding a total mutha fucking outburst or crisis (which might involve an externalising or internalising aggression). This can be achieved, I think, well were there's some sort of compatibility and I believe that compatibility is best served were there's qualitative differences as opposed to complete symmetry, unanimity and uniformity.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JClassic View Post
    I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.
    This classic ENTJ idea sounds like a bit of an A1 asshole to be honest.

    I hate it when I hear people talking about being alphas or engaging in any sort of controlling behaviour or who conceive of all relationships as a matter of dominance or submission, it all seems hugely like they are over compensators, choosing to make their own crippling inadequacy known to the whole world in a frankly embarrassing way.

    I've always thought it was fair to seek to try and control the course of events, that has consequences for everyone, or perhaps to try and highlight the course of events and the consequences to everyone, but the need to control, be controlling or be controlled, all of that is lousy and strikes me as some kind of immaturity or stunted/blocked/perverted (as in the true meaning of the term, not some euphenism for deviant in a negative sense) personal growth and development. Babies, infants and small children behave like that, its natures way of seeking some kind of security, a survival trait, you're meant to out grow that.
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  6. #6
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    When it’s working

    - What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?

    You both grow. Not necessarily at the same time. But the relationship is absolutely always evolving.

    - How compatible do you think these two types are in general?

    I think it depends which type you ask. Ime, the infj can satisfy the entj. However I'm still unaware of what the entj could do to supply the infj with what they really want.

    - Why are they attracted to each other?

    Opposites attract.

    - How do they compliment each other?

    Entj's can be very dominant. IME infj's are attracted to that. But more often it's the honesty that the infj finds refreshing.

    - How well do they understand each other and why?

    I think the infj has more insight into people in general...

    - What are they like together raising children?

    No clue. However I don't know one infj that does not want to have kids.



    When it’s not working

    - What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?

    Strong headed/abrasiveness vs exquisite tastes?

    - What are some of the communication challenges they can have?

    Getting the damn infj to just openly admit how they feel about a situation instead of shying away from conflict.

    - What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?

    see above?

    How can they take each other for granted?


    again see above

    - What happens when things “go wrong” between these two types?

    Break up, make up, break up, make up

    or

    completely remove them from their life.



    Advice for couples

    - What recommendations do you have?

    entj: Don't be so strong headed, and infj: don't be so picky/stubborn

    - What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?

    Infj: be more direct in asking for what you want. entj: patience


    - What advice do you have for each of the two types?
    - If you are an ENTJ, what advice do you have for the INFJs?
    - If you are an INFJ, what advice would you have for the ENTJs?


    see above
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  7. #7
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I like the intelligence, controlling nature, and intuition of the male entj.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member JClassic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I have to say that I agree with that last line strongly.

    I identify as ENTJ, and I know there's a lot of people dont agree with that but anyhow, of all the types that I'd choose as a friend or a partner I have to say that I find the INFJ the most attractive, part of it is the contrasting extroversion and introversion, each can support the other in a fashion that's pretty natural to them and there's no competition or conflict in social situations with others of the kind you get when there's two extroverts and I think, depending on how pronounced it is and how it plays out, the feeling and thinking functionality can prove compatible too.

    Like if you are not simply testing as a particular type but are aware of using certain cognitive preferences, of them consciously being your preferences, I believe that you develop tendencies, aptitudes for those traits and that can be a plus if you've a friend or partner who is the opposite but has that sort of character too because you can learn from one another, greater balance or equilibrium can be the upshot of that.

    I'm a believer in the idea that while most people, even dysfunctional people, have some capacity for self-regulation of strong affects and emotion, that when this gets totally taxed by stress, they can do with some co-regulation from others to restore them to baseline functioning avoiding a total mutha fucking outburst or crisis (which might involve an externalising or internalising aggression). This can be achieved, I think, well were there's some sort of compatibility and I believe that compatibility is best served were there's qualitative differences as opposed to complete symmetry, unanimity and uniformity.
    Quote Originally Posted by gasoline View Post
    you`re evil. i think they might find it adorable watching a classic power hungry consumer of worlds monster turn into a itty bitty fluffy little cute googly eye thing.
    think entjs only invest in things that they feel are worth it, that is their charm. so you know when they take the time to do those things. it wont be wasted on an infj

    I am also strongly attracted to INFJ types. But as far as what gasoline said "entj's will not waste time on those things", not sure what your referring to but if you mean jockey for control, your right I will avoid women who offer a lot of resistance to be controlled. A women that is masculine and not the submissive type I will end up running away from, or if they are good in bed will just facilitating a short term fling. I was making a point that INFJ's, in my experience, can be easily manipulated if you appeal to their emotions. If you think thats bad, just look on the statistics of people who lie or manipulate. We all do. Humans lie to each other more than 200 times a day, according to a professional lie spotter. Reference link below this post. But in reference to gasoline saying I am evil, I am not evil neither will I insult you. I believe thats bordering on violating this forums TOS. In fact I never insult anyone on here. This is an open forum with different opinions.

    Gasoline: You could of also made your point without name calling (saying I am evil). If you need leverage in your argument should be in the content you write, not just throwing insults.


    10 Research Findings About Deception That Will Blow Your Mind | Liespotting

  9. #9
    Senior Member JClassic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    This classic ENTJ idea sounds like a bit of an A1 asshole to be honest.

    I hate it when I hear people talking about being alphas or engaging in any sort of controlling behaviour or who conceive of all relationships as a matter of dominance or submission, it all seems hugely like they are over compensators, choosing to make their own crippling inadequacy known to the whole world in a frankly embarrassing way.

    I've always thought it was fair to seek to try and control the course of events, that has consequences for everyone, or perhaps to try and highlight the course of events and the consequences to everyone, but the need to control, be controlling or be controlled, all of that is lousy and strikes me as some kind of immaturity or stunted/blocked/perverted (as in the true meaning of the term, not some euphenism for deviant in a negative sense) personal growth and development. Babies, infants and small children behave like that, its natures way of seeking some kind of security, a survival trait, you're meant to out grow that.
    ENTJ's need for control has contributed to a lot of great businesses, and organizations today. This of course is very subjective, but my opinion. It is also a shared opinion on a lot of MBTI discussion sites as well. Me personally, cannot be in a relationship with an overly proactive, dominant women. While I find them attractive, we just bump heads. And yes, I heard the argument any women will follow a strong man, only a weak man can't handle a strong women. I can assure this applies only at work, not in relationships. There are tons of resources online, and the same shared opinion being touted online.

  10. #10
    Senior Member JClassic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I like the intelligence, controlling nature, and intuition of the male entj.
    Where have you been all my life. lol but yes, there are women who actually love the controlling nature of an ENTJ even get turned on by it.

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