ENTJ and INFJ Relationships

[highlander]

What do you think about relationships between ENTJs and INFJs? The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
- Why are they attracted to each other?
- How to they compliment each other?
- How well do they understand each other and why?
- What are they like together raising children?

When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
- What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
- What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
- How can they take each other for granted?
- What happens with things “go wrong” between these two types?

Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
- What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
- What advice do you have for each of the two types?
- If you are an ENTJ, what advice do you have for the INFJs?
- If you are an INFJ, what advice would you have for the ENTJs?

 

[JClassic]

I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.

 

[jcloudz]

I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.

you`re evil. i think they might find it adorable watching a classic power hungry consumer of worlds monster turn into a itty bitty fluffy little cute googly eye thing.
think entjs only invest in things that they feel are worth it, that is their charm. so you know when they take the time to do those things. it wont be wasted on an infj

 

[Lark]

you`re evil. i think they might find it adorable watching a classic power hungry consumer of worlds monster turn into a itty bitty fluffy little cute googly eye thing.
think entjs only invest in things that they feel are worth it, that is their charm. so you know when they take the time to do those things. it wont be wasted on an infj

I have to say that I agree with that last line strongly.

I identify as ENTJ, and I know there's a lot of people dont agree with that but anyhow, of all the types that I'd choose as a friend or a partner I have to say that I find the INFJ the most attractive, part of it is the contrasting extroversion and introversion, each can support the other in a fashion that's pretty natural to them and there's no competition or conflict in social situations with others of the kind you get when there's two extroverts and I think, depending on how pronounced it is and how it plays out, the feeling and thinking functionality can prove compatible too.

Like if you are not simply testing as a particular type but are aware of using certain cognitive preferences, of them consciously being your preferences, I believe that you develop tendencies, aptitudes for those traits and that can be a plus if you've a friend or partner who is the opposite but has that sort of character too because you can learn from one another, greater balance or equilibrium can be the upshot of that.

I'm a believer in the idea that while most people, even dysfunctional people, have some capacity for self-regulation of strong affects and emotion, that when this gets totally taxed by stress, they can do with some co-regulation from others to restore them to baseline functioning avoiding a total mutha fucking outburst or crisis (which might involve an externalising or internalising aggression). This can be achieved, I think, well were there's some sort of compatibility and I believe that compatibility is best served were there's qualitative differences as opposed to complete symmetry, unanimity and uniformity.

 

[Lark]

I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.

This classic ENTJ idea sounds like a bit of an A1 asshole to be honest.

I hate it when I hear people talking about being alphas or engaging in any sort of controlling behaviour or who conceive of all relationships as a matter of dominance or submission, it all seems hugely like they are over compensators, choosing to make their own crippling inadequacy known to the whole world in a frankly embarrassing way.

I've always thought it was fair to seek to try and control the course of events, that has consequences for everyone, or perhaps to try and highlight the course of events and the consequences to everyone, but the need to control, be controlling or be controlled, all of that is lousy and strikes me as some kind of immaturity or stunted/blocked/perverted (as in the true meaning of the term, not some euphenism for deviant in a negative sense) personal growth and development. Babies, infants and small children behave like that, its natures way of seeking some kind of security, a survival trait, you're meant to out grow that.

 

[Evo]

When it’s working

- What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?

You both grow. Not necessarily at the same time. But the relationship is absolutely always evolving.

- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?

I think it depends which type you ask. Ime, the infj can satisfy the entj. However I'm still unaware of what the entj could do to supply the infj with what they really want.

- Why are they attracted to each other?

Opposites attract.

- How do they compliment each other?

Entj's can be very dominant. IME infj's are attracted to that. But more often it's the honesty that the infj finds refreshing.

- How well do they understand each other and why?

I think the infj has more insight into people in general...

- What are they like together raising children?

No clue. However I don't know one infj that does not want to have kids.



When it’s not working

- What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?

Strong headed/abrasiveness vs exquisite tastes?

- What are some of the communication challenges they can have?

Getting the damn infj to just openly admit how they feel about a situation instead of shying away from conflict.

- What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?

see above?

How can they take each other for granted?

again see above

- What happens when things “go wrong” between these two types?

Break up, make up, break up, make up

or

completely remove them from their life.



Advice for couples

- What recommendations do you have?

entj: Don't be so strong headed, and infj: don't be so picky/stubborn

- What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?

Infj: be more direct in asking for what you want. entj: patience


- What advice do you have for each of the two types?
- If you are an ENTJ, what advice do you have for the INFJs?
- If you are an INFJ, what advice would you have for the ENTJs?

see above

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I like the intelligence, controlling nature, and intuition of the male entj.

 

[JClassic]

I have to say that I agree with that last line strongly.

I identify as ENTJ, and I know there's a lot of people dont agree with that but anyhow, of all the types that I'd choose as a friend or a partner I have to say that I find the INFJ the most attractive, part of it is the contrasting extroversion and introversion, each can support the other in a fashion that's pretty natural to them and there's no competition or conflict in social situations with others of the kind you get when there's two extroverts and I think, depending on how pronounced it is and how it plays out, the feeling and thinking functionality can prove compatible too.

Like if you are not simply testing as a particular type but are aware of using certain cognitive preferences, of them consciously being your preferences, I believe that you develop tendencies, aptitudes for those traits and that can be a plus if you've a friend or partner who is the opposite but has that sort of character too because you can learn from one another, greater balance or equilibrium can be the upshot of that.

I'm a believer in the idea that while most people, even dysfunctional people, have some capacity for self-regulation of strong affects and emotion, that when this gets totally taxed by stress, they can do with some co-regulation from others to restore them to baseline functioning avoiding a total mutha fucking outburst or crisis (which might involve an externalising or internalising aggression). This can be achieved, I think, well were there's some sort of compatibility and I believe that compatibility is best served were there's qualitative differences as opposed to complete symmetry, unanimity and uniformity.

you`re evil. i think they might find it adorable watching a classic power hungry consumer of worlds monster turn into a itty bitty fluffy little cute googly eye thing.
think entjs only invest in things that they feel are worth it, that is their charm. so you know when they take the time to do those things. it wont be wasted on an infj

I am also strongly attracted to INFJ types. But as far as what gasoline said "entj's will not waste time on those things", not sure what your referring to but if you mean jockey for control, your right I will avoid women who offer a lot of resistance to be controlled. A women that is masculine and not the submissive type I will end up running away from, or if they are good in bed will just facilitating a short term fling. I was making a point that INFJ's, in my experience, can be easily manipulated if you appeal to their emotions. If you think thats bad, just look on the statistics of people who lie or manipulate. We all do. Humans lie to each other more than 200 times a day, according to a professional lie spotter. Reference link below this post. But in reference to gasoline saying I am evil, I am not evil neither will I insult you. I believe thats bordering on violating this forums TOS. In fact I never insult anyone on here. This is an open forum with different opinions.

Gasoline: You could of also made your point without name calling (saying I am evil). If you need leverage in your argument should be in the content you write, not just throwing insults.


10 Research Findings About Deception That Will Blow Your Mind | Liespotting

 

[JClassic]

This classic ENTJ idea sounds like a bit of an A1 asshole to be honest.

I hate it when I hear people talking about being alphas or engaging in any sort of controlling behaviour or who conceive of all relationships as a matter of dominance or submission, it all seems hugely like they are over compensators, choosing to make their own crippling inadequacy known to the whole world in a frankly embarrassing way.

I've always thought it was fair to seek to try and control the course of events, that has consequences for everyone, or perhaps to try and highlight the course of events and the consequences to everyone, but the need to control, be controlling or be controlled, all of that is lousy and strikes me as some kind of immaturity or stunted/blocked/perverted (as in the true meaning of the term, not some euphenism for deviant in a negative sense) personal growth and development. Babies, infants and small children behave like that, its natures way of seeking some kind of security, a survival trait, you're meant to out grow that.

ENTJ's need for control has contributed to a lot of great businesses, and organizations today. This of course is very subjective, but my opinion. It is also a shared opinion on a lot of MBTI discussion sites as well. Me personally, cannot be in a relationship with an overly proactive, dominant women. While I find them attractive, we just bump heads. And yes, I heard the argument any women will follow a strong man, only a weak man can't handle a strong women. I can assure this applies only at work, not in relationships. There are tons of resources online, and the same shared opinion being touted online.

 

[JClassic]

I like the intelligence, controlling nature, and intuition of the male entj.

Where have you been all my life. lol but yes, there are women who actually love the controlling nature of an ENTJ even get turned on by it.

 

[JClassic]

Going to actually try to answer most of your questions. I dated three INFJ's before and one of them lasted a few months. Answers are in bold.

What do you think about relationships between ENTJs and INFJs? The focus of this is really on romantic relationships but it also makes sense to discuss your experience in situations where these two types interact in a significant way – such as friendship, at work, etc.

- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
I think if an ENTJ has a well developed Fe than it could work great.

- Why are they attracted to each other?
Generally the INFJ admires the ENTJ"s "thick skin" and bluntness. INFJ's are famously known to detect lies very easily, and hate deceptive behaviors. This is where the INFJ will initially be attracted to the ENTJ, their bluntness and honestly (even if its selective honesty) will turn on the INFJ. All INFJ"s I dated where extremely attracted to my bluntness. But the ENTJ's straightforwardness can be a double edge sword to the Feeler type, who might get offended or deeply hurt.

- How to they compliment each other?
The I / E difference is an obvious compliment but the F vs T can pose some problems if the ENTJ doesn't have a well developed Fe, or the INFJ is to sensitive.

- How well do they understand each other and why?
INFJ's need a strong emotional connection with their partners in order to fully commit, or progressive in a physical relationship. They are not ones to sleep around. The ENTJ might not understand why the INFJ is delaying in investing in a relationship with him, and might take it personally. Also, the I types have a strong need to recharge or be alone at times. The Extroverted ENTJ might not understand why the INFT constantly has the need to turtle occasionally. The INFJ's "turtling" coupled with the slow progression in a physical relationship might be taken as rejection to the ENTJ. INFJ's have a great tendency to hold things in. This further stunts the growth of both partners.

- What are they like together raising children?
Can't speak from experience, but from what I read ENTJ's tend to be very militant with their children. INFJ's will be more empathetic. Looks like a perfect set up for "bad cop good cop" parenting style, lol.

When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
INFJ's have a problem opening up, or expressing themselves openly. This poses a big problem for the blunt, expressive, no games ENTJ. Another challenge is the ENTJ"s bluntness can be emotionally taxing for the "Feely" INFJ.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

ENTJ's need for control has contributed to a lot of great businesses, and organizations today. This of course is very subjective, but my opinion. It is also a shared opinion on a lot of MBTI discussion sites as well. Me personally, cannot be in a relationship with an overly proactive, dominant women. While I find them attractive, we just bump heads. And yes, I heard the argument any women will follow a strong man, only a weak man can't handle a strong women. I can assure this applies only at work, not in relationships. There are tons of resources online, and the same shared opinion being touted online.

Proactive and dominant don't necessarily go together, though they stereotypically do. In fact, I will even say that the more forceful, proactive, or assertive a woman is, the more she might lack inner strength. This is like a female Napoleon Complex, if you will. Of course, proactive women can be truly dominant forces but a woman will find her true strength when she can learn how to submit to her fate, and embrace the things about her that are uniquely and specially female. Just as a man will not tap into his truest strength until he learns to submit to the Lord.

In my estimation, the woman's plight is weakness and the man's plight is pride.

 

[meowington]

I never had a better work relationship than I do now with my ENTJ superior.
We supplement eachother very well.
his only flaws are :
-thinks too black/white sometimes, makes judgement too fast (ignoring relevant details from time to time), but he's smart enough to check with me cause he knows I give everything more thought.
-eventhough he has well developed Fe he still steps on peoples' toes from time to time by being too blunt
I have to smoke him out to connect emotionally.
But overall best boss ever ! I go to see movies with him from time to time. Don't think many people connect that well with their superior.

My best friend is an ENTJ too.

Looks like a perfect set up for "bad cop good cop" parenting style, lol. [/b]

OMG that is so true : when me and my boss have to negotiate something with external representatives "good cop / bad cop" is exactly what we do
Those representatives usually love me and are petrified by the ENTJ lol but he gets the discount done, so he's happy too and I'm happy that I can still get through the same door with these people, cause I have to work with them on a daily basis.

 

[JClassic]

Proactive and dominant don't necessarily go together, though they stereotypically do. In fact, I will even say that the more forceful, proactive, or assertive a woman is, the more she might lack inner strength. This is like a female Napoleon Complex, if you will. Of course, proactive women can be truly dominant forces but a woman will find her true strength when she can learn how to submit to her fate, and embrace the things about her that are uniquely and specially female. Just as a man will not tap into his truest strength until he learns to submit to the Lord.

In my estimation, the woman's plight is weakness and the man's plight is pride.

Never really thought about the Napoleon Complexes women can have. Very good point.

 

[JClassic]

I never had a better work relationship than I do now with my ENTJ superior.
We supplement eachother very well.
his only flaws are :
-thinks too black/white sometimes, makes judgement too fast (ignoring relevant details from time to time), but he's smart enough to check with me cause he knows I give everything more thought.
-eventhough he has well developed Fe he still steps on peoples' toes from time to time by being too blunt
I have to smoke him out to connect emotionally.
But overall best boss ever ! I go to see movies with him from time to time. Don't think many people connect that well with their superior.

My best friend is an ENTJ too.



OMG that is so true : when me and my boss have to negotiate something with external representatives "good cop / bad cop" is exactly what we do
Those representatives usually love me and are petrified by the ENTJ lol but he gets the discount done, so he's happy too and I'm happy that I can still get through the same door with these people, cause I have to work with them on a daily basis.

Lol, thats like the much needed duality at the work place. Just imagine if everyone wan an ENTJ at your job lol.

 

[Numbly Aware]

I dated a few INFJ's before, and found them to be the best matches for me. Their unpredictable emotional side can be frustrating. They also tend to go hermit once in awhile and want to be in their shell escaping from the outside world. They also hate being controlled so this has been a problem for me, but I look as this being a challenge. Being a classic ENTJ I will just try to control, and lead the INFJ who will eventually follow. I noticed that if you appeal to the INFJ's emotions they will more likely do what you ask. Lol, sounds bad but very true.

That is so sweet.
Gives me hope with the ENTJ I'm interested in...

 

[Fidelia]

I think infjs appear malleable initially, but are actually quite opinionated and stubborn and do not make great rose in the lapel, intelligent but not too intelligent type mates. Entjs generally are appealing to infjs in their twenties, who admire the direction, decisiveness, and bluntness of an entj. However, longterm, the lack of give and take, the infjs need for personal and relationship growth and the lack of entj emotion expression make it not work. Infjs would generally be wiser to marry after their aux and tert functions have time to develop as the mate they'd pick early in adulthood would be very different from the mate they'd choose later. Infjs are known at the best of times to have one of the highest marriage dissatisfaction rates.

 

[EcK]

ew

 

[EcK]

Going to actually try to answer most of your questions. I dated three INFJ's before and one of them lasted a few months. Answers are in bold.




- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
I think if an ENTJ has a well developed Fe than it could work great.

That's an enfj, a male enfj.

 

[Codex]

[MENTION=25317]Wind-up Rex [/mention]