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INTJ and ISFP Relationships

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
It is an interesting point. I recall Dario Nardi saying that when he did testing of brain patterns on INTJs and ISFPs, as they got older, it was hard to tell the difference between the two of them. They started looking alike.

Makes sense that that would happen. You'd hope people balanced out in some ways.
 

Flâneuse

don't ask me
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
947
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Her: talks about what people said and did at work. Goes into details about specifics of actions that she uses to draw conclusions about who and what is problematic.

Me: talks about the dynamics of the forces in my life and how they're effecting me. Goes into details about types of interactions and sources of support or taxation that I use to draw conclusions about what needs attention and what is going well.

yeah, i think it seems to SPs like we're not really talking about anything when to us we're digging into the meat of our thoughts.

i feel the same way listening to SPs. all those details that you all seem to go into are the things i casually pass through my brain on my own and feel no need to get into, because they only serve as bits of support to the actual point: which is the synthesis of the underlying themes of the tangible events.

iow, we each take the thing the other person spends their time picking apart for granted. i believe though that SPs can offer NPs a smack-in-the-face as far as how some things really are powerful on their own, and of the importance of dealing with the here and now as a way to effect change on the big picture. on the flip side, i think NPs can offer SPs some face-smackage about the larger patterns their events are showing, and how dealing with each one as an individual issue won't change the larger source of frustration.

Sometimes it is the case that the N is simply talking about abstract matters and the S is simply talking concrete matters, but I’ve noticed that sometimes S types are just using concrete examples to hint at the underlying concepts or patterns they see instead of articulating it directly using abstract language like Ns usually prefer. To an N who prefers abstract communication, it can look like the S has no point and is just focusing on trivialities/details, when in reality they may just be more comfortable expressing the abstractions in their mind in an indirect way using concrete language.

Maybe this has nothing to do with the interactions you’re describing - it’s just something I’ve seen enough that I thought it was worth mentioning.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Sometimes it is the case that the N is simply talking about abstract matters and the S is simply talking concrete matters, but I’ve noticed that sometimes S types are just using concrete examples to hint at the underlying concepts or patterns they see instead of articulating it directly using abstract language like Ns usually prefer. To an N who prefers abstract communication, it can look like the S has no point and is just focusing on trivialities/details, when in reality they may just be more comfortable expressing the abstractions in their mind in an indirect way using concrete language.

Maybe this has nothing to do with the interactions you’re describing - it’s just something I’ve seen enough that I thought it was worth mentioning.

I think I do use concrete language pretty much all the time, I actually don't see much point in doing otherwise because I want to be comprehensible. I'm pretty sure I do what you say, in that I'll use examples or situations to point towards something larger, though I think probably the 'larger' is left unsaid, or I hint at it with my voice drifting off. Ni people usually know immediately what I'm alluding to, and that's probably a fail on my part with Ne people, assuming they'll pick up on it. I think it's true though, I keep most of the larger patterns/etc in my head; from my pov, what good is talking about a larger pattern without the examples, the tangibles, to support it? I think everything for me starts with observations, which are what substantiates a 'trend' anyway.

Actually I hardly ever give details, I have found NeSi to do a lot more detail sharing. I suspect though 'detail' is being thought of differently between different people. From my pov, NeSi can go on and on forever with details of particular things they're describing, and adding more 'detail' doesn't add anything new (from my pov) to the underlying thing being discussed. Whereas I'll just make succinçt observations or 'summaries' of what happened, which leaves a lot of people feeling completely devoid of anything, ie I don't give enough info to complete the picture they are wanting to hear about.

I don't know, we're all different in how we talk and what we stress/find important. What I mention will seem trivial to a lot of people, just like what other people talk about might seem pointless and repetitive to me.
 

Tazzie

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2016
Messages
47
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
2w3
Well in my experience. I have two female friends that im close with. One i met 15 years ago and the other I met last year and both got INTJ but one took a myer brigg test and other socionics if i understood right. I notice we seem to balance each other out after we get to know each other enjoying each other Introvert side. I enjoy there company except sometimes i wish they would be more patient with people lol. It cute to see when they start to show there concerns for people or animals cause it doesnt happened much and I enjoy getting them to be silly also.

There the only ones so far that doesnt seem to have a problem with me being quiet and somedays i can be really quiet. I appreciate that they tolerate it lol. With the one i met last year she is like a sister that i never had (don't have a sister) and so far were compatable roommates. I enjoy INTJ friendship as a friend or family but honestly I wouldn't be interested in dating one.
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
I want to imagine that this woman is an ISFP, am I off?

Beautiful Athlete - Sports
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
I want to imagine that this woman is an ISFP, am I off?

Beautiful Athlete - Sports

She looks like Sadie Sink a bit (eye, nose structure and the lips). For some reason they typed her as 1w2 ISFJ with all that heavy makeup and flashy/designer clothes on her. :rolleyes: I would expect an ISFJ to look more like a nun.

1661405042109.png1661405532803.png1661405615675.png1661405725440.png
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
And this gent an ESFP, he looks like Nicodemus' avatar photo a bit.
View attachment 26853


Leo Max Frank (April 17, 1884 – August 17, 1915) was an American factory superintendent who was convicted in 1913 of the murder of a 13-year-old employee, Mary Phagan, in Atlanta, Georgia. His trial, conviction, and appeals attracted national attention.

His lynching two years later, in response to the commutation of his death sentence, became the focus of social, regional, political, and racial concerns, particularly regarding antisemitism. Today, the consensus of researchers is that Frank was wrongly convicted and Jim Conley (factory's janitor) was likely the actual murderer.

Leo Frank Jim Conley
1661409969897.png1661409979860.png
 

GoggleGirl17

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2017
Messages
527
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My partner is INTJ and we're making a Sims 4 house together lol. Thought it might be interesting to share what some of the rooms look like so far.

Bathroom

Kitchen
 
Last edited:

yeghor

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Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
My partner is INTJ and we're making a Sims 4 house together lol. Thought it might be interesting to share what some of the rooms look like so far.

Bathroom

Kitchen

Lounge

Bathroom looks like it came out of a horror movie where someone had been murdered before and is now haunted by their spirit. The bathtub fills with water on its own and they find it overflowing onto the floor.
 

GoggleGirl17

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2017
Messages
527
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Bathroom looks like it came out of a horror movie where someone had been murdered before and is now haunted by their spirit. The bathtub fills with water on its own and they find it overflowing onto the floor.
That was my inspiration 🥲 I almost put the toilet paper right next to the cactus but then I thought that's much too dangerous.
 

Earl Grey

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Dec 3, 2017
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
INTJ
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583
Instinctual Variant
sp/so

GoggleGirl17

Active member
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sp/sx
Whose idea was it for the wall height windows and mirrors?
He chose the windows, I chose the mirrors. The bathroom hall window was a mutual decision lol. We're doing something similar with the monochrome lounge area which is in progress, where the walls separating two of the rooms are all windowed. We both really like that look. Interestingly, without each other's input, we both find it pretty challenging to complete designs we're happy with.
 

Earl Grey

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Joined
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Messages
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INTJ
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583
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sp/so
He chose the windows, I chose the mirrors. The bathroom hall window was a mutual decision lol. We're doing something similar with the monochrome lounge area which is in progress, where the walls separating two of the rooms are all windowed. We both really like that look. Interestingly, without each other's input, we both find it pretty challenging to complete designs we're happy with.

I asked because someone told me it was a very INTJ style to add that kind of- minimalist modern full length window style to a house (which is something I also do very liberally while being widely typed as XNTJ). If this is really true, that makes it quite hilarious. That makes 3 INTJs so far with a penchant for wall length windows.

Completely unsolicited advice, feel free to ignore:
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
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Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
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5w6
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sp/sx
I asked because someone told me it was a very INTJ style to add that kind of- minimalist modern full length window style to a house (which is something I also do very liberally while being widely typed as XNTJ). If this is really true, that makes it quite hilarious. That makes 3 INTJs so far with a penchant for wall length windows.
I am INTJ, and while I do like clean lines, minimalist style, and natural lighting, having too many large windows makes me feel like I am living in a fishbowl and on display. I value privacy too much for that, perhaps an influence of enneagram SP.
 

Earl Grey

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sp/so
I am INTJ, and while I do like clean lines, minimalist style, and natural lighting, having too many large windows makes me feel like I am living in a fishbowl and on display. I value privacy too much for that, perhaps an influence of enneagram SP.

This is why I'd only have it if it was in the middle of heck-nowhere, or were the kind of windows that could go opaque. These opaque windows are opaque by default, and with an electric current, can be set to become transparent, just like regular windows. They otherwise have the appearance of frosted glass, while being more opaque than that.

Imagine, however, being able to snap your fingers and watch the treelines and mountains in the distance, unimpeded.

 
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