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  1. #11
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Ok well, I guess I'll explain that. The thing is that first girlfriend and I connected via email a few years ago and for some reason it caused me to go into an episode of depression for 8 - 10 months. I was literally staring at walls. It was something about reliving a past trauma, unresolved grief, etc. I have never experienced depression before so it threw me for a loop. It felt like getting hit by a truck. I disappeared from here for several months when it happened. I recall it was when Invisible Jim got banned. I missed that whole thing. No matter how hard I tried to understand and analyze my feelings, it was impossible to figure out. None of it made any logical sense. I guess emotions are truly not logical.

    I think that sometimes people feel INTJs are hard asses and don't have feelings but you know I believe that we're actually quite vulnerable to getting hurt in the intimate relationship realm, sometimes with lasting effects, and that we may be especially vulnerable when we're young.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639
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  2. #12
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    I know of a pairing with these types and while they've been married a long time, I also vaguely recall some serious ... dark moments they had. The INTJ pressed on. Eventually with the right reframing of mind, reframing of priorities and perspective they made it through that dark time and ended up having kids together, now they're basically in a place where they've achieved one of their most significant dreams. Don't really know that much else to speak to the actual purpose of the thread though.
    intp | type 9w1 sp/sx/so

  3. #13
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I think that sometimes people feel INTJs are hard asses and don't have feelings but you know I believe that we're actually quite vulnerable to getting hurt in the intimate relationship realm, sometimes with lasting effects, and that we may be especially vulnerable when we're young.
    I have seen INTJs deep in the throes of loneliness and deep in melancholy. It's all very real and raw, but you'd never know if you took them at face value.

    I haven't looked around all these threads yet and didn't catch it, but what type are you with now?
    intp | type 9w1 sp/sx/so

  4. #14
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Ok well, I guess I'll explain that. The thing is that first girlfriend and I connected via email a few years ago and for some reason it caused me to go into an episode of depression for 8 - 10 months. I was literally staring at walls. It was something about reliving a past trauma, unresolved grief, etc. I have never experienced depression before so it threw me for a loop. It felt like getting hit by a truck. I disappeared from here for several months when it happened. I recall it was when Invisible Jim got banned. I missed that whole thing. No matter how hard I tried to understand and analyze my feelings, it was impossible to figure out. None of it made any logical sense. I guess emotions are truly not logical.

    I think that sometimes people feel INTJs are hard asses and don't have feelings but you know I believe that we're actually quite vulnerable to getting hurt in the intimate relationship realm, sometimes with lasting effects, and that we may be especially vulnerable when we're young
    .
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I was particularly interested in this post as I have always had trouble understanding where the ISFPs I know are coming from. The not being able to enter an intellectually stimulating conversation would be more difficult to endure as time went by. Now, about the bolded part, I think that is true. In fact, I'm sure it's true. Same goes for ISTJs. I've seen both types be really hurt by people they trusted (betrayal) and I've seen old wounds be reopened by just a chance encounter.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  5. #15
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirilis View Post
    I have seen INTJs deep in the throes of loneliness and deep in melancholy. It's all very real and raw, but you'd never know if you took them at face value.
    And you can't always verbalize it. And when you can it sounds like another language, to other people and even to my own ears.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  6. #16
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by great_bay View Post
    That's interesting. Does the same thing apply to other types? Does INFP and ISTJ start to look alike as they get older?
    They dont look alike in terms of personality....their cognitive patterns may start to look quite similar, at least on the surface. Remember that MBTI actually types the ego, or the predominant mentality/mindset, not brain functions. So the two may remain quite distinct as personality types even as maturity may lead them to use thought patterns associated with the other (probably for tasks which call for them, which is how Nardi was observing people, as opposed to a whole mindset which colors the personality).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #17
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirilis View Post
    I have seen INTJs deep in the throes of loneliness and deep in melancholy. It's all very real and raw, but you'd never know if you took them at face value.

    I haven't looked around all these threads yet and didn't catch it, but what type are you with now?
    ISFJ that I met a year after that old girlfriend and I broke up . We have a much better connection from a mental perspective in terms of being able to talk about stuff. There aren't many upsets and she has no problem making a decision. It's a very equal partnership.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  8. #18
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    We may both be introverts, but we are nothing alike. If I had to guess her Enneagram type, I'd say she's most likely a phobic 6. She's extremely emotional and immature, and totally dependent on the people in her life. She also seems to be incapable of being objective about anything.
    Interesting ...(casts about for non-emotionally-laden word) description. {after rejecting 'allegation,' 'account,' 'allegation,' 'recollection,' 'observation'}

    As an INTJ, I can make my own working definition of objective; but I'd be interested in hearing your definition as applied to her.
    Hint: I think that differing definitions of 'objective' lead to conflicts between the INTJ and several other types.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  9. #19
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    They dont look alike in terms of personality....their cognitive patterns may start to look quite similar, at least on the surface. Remember that MBTI actually types the ego, or the predominant mentality/mindset, not brain functions. So the two may remain quite distinct as personality types even as maturity may lead them to use thought patterns associated with the other (probably for tasks which call for them, which is how Nardi was observing people, as opposed to a whole mindset which colors the personality).
    Nice point about Nardi -- can you confirm, you are speaking of his studies where he wired up the heads of volunteers for EEGs and asked them to do various activities (the source of the famous INFP "Christmas tree" pattern and the INTJ "whole brain lights up in a single color indicative of expertise in an area")?

    Second, for the purposes of the discussion, please differentiate between "brain functions" and "thought patterns" ? (Holds out plate like Oliver Twist "Sir, may I have more please?")
    Yes, that question is non humorous.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  10. #20
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Ok well, I guess I'll explain that. The thing is that first girlfriend and I connected via email a few years ago and for some reason it caused me to go into an episode of depression for 8 - 10 months. I was literally staring at walls. It was something about reliving a past trauma, unresolved grief, etc. I have never experienced depression before so it threw me for a loop. It felt like getting hit by a truck. I disappeared from here for several months when it happened. I recall it was when Invisible Jim got banned. I missed that whole thing. No matter how hard I tried to understand and analyze my feelings, it was impossible to figure out. None of it made any logical sense. I guess emotions are truly not logical.

    I think that sometimes people feel INTJs are hard asses and don't have feelings but you know I believe that we're actually quite vulnerable to getting hurt in the intimate relationship realm, sometimes with lasting effects, and that we may be especially vulnerable when we're young.
    True that. The young INTJ may be internally bathing in tertiary Fi without realizing anything more than that "they've just stepped off a cliff like Wile E. Coyote" -- and the breakup, or the relationship going sour, is that moment when they look down and see just how far away the cold, cruel ground is...and that ratiocination is no defense against either heartbreak or social consequences and feedback...
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

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