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  1. #11
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Do you think these types, especially in these pairings, would therefore make bad parents?
    I think it depends on the individuals and whether their children like their parenting style. I felt my INTJ dad was somewhat emotionally distant even though we got along pretty well (although I wouldn't say this has scarred me for life or anything), and my INFP cousin has an INTP and INTJ as parents and she was pretty traumatized by her experience. But other less sensitive and/or emotional types might not mind it at all. And there might be INFX's who don't mind.

  2. #12
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    I'd imagine this would be like two people sitting in a room, never moving, and assuming they were check mating each other in a game of 'oops I dropped my pencil' except nothing ever happens except for crickets. All humor aside, this would be a site to see as the two or four eyed monster mind melded you with double int power drive psy blasts.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  3. #13
    good, hot, fresh, fly ~ laterlazer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Do you think these types, especially in these pairings, would therefore make bad parents?
    I think every type can make bad parents for any reason. Generally no one is a perfect parent and a lot of parents are 'doing something wrong'. I don't think there's any one way to be a good parent, and I think everyone tries but may/may not realise that they're still lacking in some areas when it comes to parenting.
    Likes Gizmo liked this post

  4. #14
    Member Gizmo's Avatar
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    I personally believe that It would take an INTJ to truly understand another INTJ. People assume that we are complicated and mysterious people due to all of the rubbish stereotypes, but we are actually simple minded heart felt people who don't like to play on emotions when trying to understand and make a sense of things. Obviously this is always happing, as in the analytical/thinking process never stops. It's like our mind is an engine that never ceases to reciprocate. However before I fly off subject, but we understand children's emotions rather well. At family functions I prefer to sorta babysit all of the little ones. They have a taste for adventure, are typically uncorrupted emotionally, and the ask a lot of questions that I have the answer to. I've never been in a relationship, so I can't help you there. However I hope I have dished out some adequate insight as to how INTJ's may typically respond to one another, and their children.
    ~ Only your heart can poison your mind. ~
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  5. #15
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Have any of the INTJs here actually been in a relationship with another INTJ? I'm really sort of curious. Most of the comments so far are about the concept of it
    Ive dated another ENTJ. It was awesome except when it wasnt.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #16
    Senior Member aanule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Up Rex View Post
    Ive dated another ENTJ. It was awesome except when it wasnt.
    Oh, good lord... How did you not kill each other??? I nearly killed my ENTJ ex and I'm the most mild mannered, agreeable ENFP imaginable.

  7. #17
    Member Gizmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Up Rex View Post
    Ive dated another ENTJ. It was awesome except when it wasnt.
    Although INTJ and ENTJ are considered sister types A.K.A. the trail blayzers... They can be similar and also very different... In relationship terms it is pointless to compare the two because their social, and emotional contrast are very different.
    ~ Only your heart can poison your mind. ~

  8. #18
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Have any of the INTJs here actually been in a relationship with another INTJ? I'm really sort of curious. Most of the comments so far are about the concept of it
    I can't even stay friends with other INTJs. Bunch of uptight asocial assholes.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.
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  9. #19
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aanule View Post
    Oh, good lord... How did you not kill each other??? I nearly killed my ENTJ ex and I'm the most mild mannered, agreeable ENFP imaginable.

    Mm. I'm thinking this question may have been somewhat rhetorical, but I'll answer it like it wasn't lol.

    The relationship was definitely combustible at times, but I think the factors that made it such were more to do with the fact that he was poly and I wasn't really cut out to be someone's secondary. Neither of us really expected to become as invested in the relationship as we did. There were a lot of situations that presented themselves early on with us--above and beyond considerations of the basic complexity of nonmonogamy--that forced us to either choose each other or to keep moving, and for reasons that sort of defied both of us we always made the choice to stay together. Which sounds like the noble choice, but we mostly just used it as opportunity to further devastate the other. There's kind of an odd unconscious innocence to ENTJs. I think it was just hard for either of us to accept that someone you loved so intensely could be so bad for you. To accept that, no matter how differently you did it this time, how many more rules you made for yourself and them, and how much harder you tried to abide by them, your involvement with this individual would cause you nothing but misery and disappointment. (Which, ironically, is how I feel most people feel about romantic entanglements with ENTJs anyways, but I digress lol.)

    Either way, the only reason both of us lived through being involved with the other is a peculiar but shared talent for survival generally, and also probably spite lol.

    Also, romantic entanglements with ENFPs have ALWAYS been a mistake for everyone involved. I feel it always becomes this conflict where there's this, like, unspoken test from the ENFP. And I KNOW what they want me to do, but I act like I don't. This is in part because performing that sort of emotional vulnerability and openness in the deliberate way they seem to be looking for in order to feel loved/validated/whatever makes me feel like I'm going to die of death. It just shuts me down and makes me resentful of the person. It's like, "We have a cool thing right now. Why do you have to fuck up that thing by getting MORE out of me than what I'm already anteing up freely? Fuck you. You get nothing now."

    Now, I'm beyond cognizant of the fact that this is the position of an emotionally immature jackass. Typically, the thing that the ENFP is looking for is in fact something that a normal person would be happy to give to them in that moment, but because ENTJs are basically terrible humans who should be dated by no one, we do not. We also get a somewhat perverse delight out of shutting down a person like the ENFP who is typically used to being irresistible.

    Honestly, yall are better off with virtually any other TJ than us, especially those nice INTJs if you can find one. INFPs tend to have a better handle on how to keep us in line, which is what most of us need most of the time lol.



    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmo View Post
    Although INTJ and ENTJ are considered sister types A.K.A. the trail blayzers... They can be similar and also very different... In relationship terms it is pointless to compare the two because their social, and emotional contrast are very different.
    Are you implying here that the probability of an INTJ/INTJ partnership working out are different than that of an ENTJ/ENTJ pairing working out? If not the point, that ENTJs and INTJs are pretty dissimilar seems pretty obvious.

    If you're pointing to the latter, I feel nonetheless that while the types are on the whole distinct, they're alike enough that there would be overlap in the qualities and dynamics in an Identity relationship that would tend to make either find that sort of relationship to be less than fulfiling.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  10. #20
    Senior Member aanule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Up Rex View Post
    Mm. I'm thinking this question may have been somewhat rhetorical, but I'll answer it like it wasn't lol.

    The relationship was definitely combustible at times, but I think the factors that made it such were more to do with the fact that he was poly and I wasn't really cut out to be someone's secondary. Neither of us really expected to become as invested in the relationship as we did. There were a lot of situations that presented themselves early on with us--above and beyond considerations of the basic complexity of nonmonogamy--that forced us to either choose each other or to keep moving, and for reasons that sort of defied both of us we always made the choice to stay together. Which sounds like the noble choice, but we mostly just used it as opportunity to further devastate the other. There's kind of an odd unconscious innocence to ENTJs. I think it was just hard for either of us to accept that someone you loved so intensely could be so bad for you. To accept that, no matter how differently you did it this time, how many more rules you made for yourself and them, and how much harder you tried to abide by them, your involvement with this individual would cause you nothing but misery and disappointment. (Which, ironically, is how I feel most people feel about romantic entanglements with ENTJs anyways, but I digress lol.)

    Either way, the only reason both of us lived through being involved with the other is a peculiar but shared talent for survival generally, and also probably spite lol.

    Also, romantic entanglements with ENFPs have ALWAYS been a mistake for everyone involved. I feel it always becomes this conflict where there's this, like, unspoken test from the ENFP. And I KNOW what they want me to do, but I act like I don't. This is in part because performing that sort of emotional vulnerability and openness in the deliberate way they seem to be looking for in order to feel loved/validated/whatever makes me feel like I'm going to die of death. It just shuts me down and makes me resentful of the person. It's like, "We have a cool thing right now. Why do you have to fuck up that thing by getting MORE out of me than what I'm already anteing up freely? Fuck you. You get nothing now."

    Now, I'm beyond cognizant of the fact that this is the position of an emotionally immature jackass. Typically, the thing that the ENFP is looking for is in fact something that a normal person would be happy to give to them in that moment, but because ENTJs are basically terrible humans who should be dated by no one, we do not. We also get a somewhat perverse delight out of shutting down a person like the ENFP who is typically used to being irresistible.

    Honestly, yall are better off with virtually any other TJ than us, especially those nice INTJs if you can find one. INFPs tend to have a better handle on how to keep us in line, which is what most of us need most of the time lol.





    Are you implying here that the probability of an INTJ/INTJ partnership working out are different than that of an ENTJ/ENTJ pairing working out? If not the point, that ENTJs and INTJs are pretty dissimilar seems pretty obvious.

    If you're pointing to the latter, I feel nonetheless that while the types are on the whole distinct, they're alike enough that there would be overlap in the qualities and dynamics in an Identity relationship that would tend to make either find that sort of relationship to be less than fulfiling.
    My ENTJ was very unhealthy, and I think that was the sole cause of our demise (and my want to murder him at times).

    I can see despising an ENFP's need for attention and the expectation that you'll find them irresistible. I'm certainly well aware that it can be annoying and over the top, so I try to rein it in.

    That said, I'm now in a relationship with an ENFJ and he gives me all the attention I could possibly need... I haven't had to throw out any nets with him, the affection is just ready and waiting. It's refreshing, but not sure about the longevity (though he's quite certain, oops).

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